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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

35 and denied alcohol

258 replies

antisocialsocialclub · 18/03/2022 14:35

Bit of a light hearted one but I am actually annoyed.

Also this isn’t a stealth boast or humble brag at all, because I didn’t come out of this feeling in any way flattered or superior 🤣

I’m 35. I’d like to set the scene by saying I look my age, maybe on a good day I look 30. No way do I look like I’m in my 20s. I definitely look old enough to drink. I have several fine lines and the face a woman of my age has just from existing.

Having a few friends around tonight so just popped out to the shop to get some snacks and a bit of alcohol. I went with DH.

We were at the conveyor belt and the cashier was putting the food through. Then she paused at the alcohol. She looked at DH and then at me and said to me “do you have ID?” I just laughed then realised she was serious. I said I had nothing on me, DH showed his but the cashier said ‘sorry I can’t serve you as I can’t be sure you won’t give the alcohol to points at me’

I laughed and said ‘I’m 35!’ but she wouldn’t budge. I considered asking for the manager but wimped out. Didn’t fancy making a scene for the same outcome.

To cut a long story short, DH had to leave the alcohol because his ‘child bride’ 🤣 left her wallet at home. I actually felt a bit awkward that she thought my 42 year old DH (greying hair and all) was with an under 25 year old. Or did she think I was some street child forcing DH to buy me booze 😊

I know cashiers need to check, I know it’s the law and it’s hard for them etc etc but 1. wow, if she thought I was under 25 I must have had a hard life and 2. I just don’t understand the logic in this situation.

DH was buying the alcohol I was just gormlessly stood with him. What if a parent goes shopping with their underage child and wants to buy a bottle of wine? What they’re saying is you can’t buy alcohol unless everyone accompanying you has ID to confirm legal age?!

I think it’s madness. AIBU?

Also DH has just popped to another shop to get it and I decided I’d stay in the car like a naughty dog 😭 I’m 35!

OP posts:
voidlite · 18/03/2022 18:07

I'm early 40s and only get ID'd very rarely these days. I never leave the house without my wallet with my provisional driving licence in it so it's not a problem.

romdowa · 18/03/2022 18:08

A cashier once refused to sell my brother alcohol when I was with him and I'm 5 years older🤣🤣 i was mid twenties at the time. I don't drink so I never brought Id with me. He was like a pig over it. Kept saying that they thought he looked over 25 and he was only 18 🙈🙈 he was disgusted!

nuffinimlazyatthemoment · 18/03/2022 18:10

(I think wearing a mask makes it more difficult for people to be fair)

I did get asked for ID during the last couple of years for this reason and I pulled my face mask down a bit and the cashier went 'oh yeah' and put the sale through without asking to check ID. Must have been the saggy jowls and menopause moustache that did it. Comes to us all, eventually.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:11

@OatmilkandCookies

The day after our wedding, DH went to Asda to pick up something nice for dinner and picked a nice bottle of wine to go with it and we were denied as neither of us had ID- we were 24 and 26! And I thought me saying oh I'll just get husband to see it he has his might have worked but it didn't 😂 I mean it was a nice bottle of red wine, not a litre of cider or a bottle of Buckfast!
It doesn't matter what you are buying, the law is the same.

One of you was under 25, and the policy is to I.D. anyone that looks under 25 - so they were doing exactly what they are meant to do.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:15

Meanwhile DD is 18 today and gone out to buy booze with her friend who’s still 17. They plan on parting company before the checkout

If they go in the shop I work at together, then your DD is unlikely to be able to buy alcohol. If they are seen together in our shop with alcohol, both will need to provide I.D. - even if they don't go to the till together.

OldTinHat · 18/03/2022 18:19

I'm 50 and got ID'd a couple of months ago by a lad working at the checkout. I burst out laughing and said, very funny, I was old enough to be his granny. He glared at me and said he always got asked for ID when buying alcohol and he was 20 so why shouldn't he ask me for my ID when I was buying alcohol.

How can you argue with that odd logic?!

I just waved my debit card at him and smiled. He took payment and scowled.

BeautifulBirds · 18/03/2022 18:26

I think they need retraining.

It's not a proxy sale as there is no clear evidence that the purchase was intended to be supplied to a minor (or someone with no ID).

Only the person purchasing should be asked for ID, unless there is clear proof the sale of an age restricted product is for someone else, underage.

berlinbabylon · 18/03/2022 18:33

@BrightonBunny

This happens all the time - the staff have to randomly ask people for ID as well as people they suspect may be U25. Tesco staff are put through disciplinary procedures when they fail to ask for ID from secret customers who are 24, but look much older. It's fucking mental.

I was asked in Sainsburys when I was 51, so I guess they have the same policy.

do they really? I didn't know that. That said, I deliberately avoid buying age-restricted items as far as possible because it's so much faff - not so much the ID issue but the fact that the employees on the checkouts are so often under 18, too and I can't be bothered to hang around waiting for a supervisor. So I go somewhere like Superdrug to buy medicines and buy wine online.
WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:36

Only the person purchasing should be asked for ID, unless there is clear proof the sale of an age restricted product is for someone else, underage

Surely that's up for every retailer to decide?

inheritancetrack · 18/03/2022 18:36

I'm a bit stunned you have to be 25 tbh. Thought it was 18. I don't buy it so never found out.

berlinbabylon · 18/03/2022 18:38

@girlmom21

This is Britain etc etc. We don't carry ID!

You don't carry your driving license in your purse?

Yes but I often go out just with my phone, which has one debit card with it. And a lot of people just use their phones to pay (or even smartwatches) these days, anyway. But the government intends to introduce new digital ID soon (not compulsory) so maybe people will be able to have their ID on their phones.
ChocolateIsAlwaysTheAnswer · 18/03/2022 18:38

Friend is 38 and looks 17-23. Can never get served without showing ID. She hates it.

berlinbabylon · 18/03/2022 18:38

@inheritancetrack

I'm a bit stunned you have to be 25 tbh. Thought it was 18. I don't buy it so never found out.
you do have to be 18 but they have a policy that you have to look over 25 (same for people appearing in ads for alcohol too)
WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:39

@inheritancetrack

I'm a bit stunned you have to be 25 tbh. Thought it was 18. I don't buy it so never found out.
You don't have to be 25.

But if you look under 25, you will be asked to prove that you are legal age to buy age restricted products.

Phyllis321 · 18/03/2022 18:40

I got asked last year, she asked me to take my mask down and then wanted to see ID.
I'm 50 and can only assume it was 'be kind to oldies' day.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 18/03/2022 18:40

There’s a lady in my local supermarket who insists on ID’ing me no matter how often she sees my ID. I wouldn’t mind but she knew me quite well when I was a teenager and actually bought me a card for my 18th birthday… Confused

WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:42

@DogsDryWineAndCheese

There’s a lady in my local supermarket who insists on ID’ing me no matter how often she sees my ID. I wouldn’t mind but she knew me quite well when I was a teenager and actually bought me a card for my 18th birthday… Confused
Do you look under 25?

If so, it's what we are told to do - certainly in the shop I work in. They send in people over 18 but under 25 to do checks, and we get disciplined if we fail a check.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 18/03/2022 18:44

WeCouldBeSpearows

Sadly not, no. But as per my post, she knows me - she calls me by my name. She bought me a card several moons ago for my 18th. That’s what bizarre!

yummyscummymummy01 · 18/03/2022 18:45

This happened to me this week, thought the lady was joking but she then went on to tell me she couldn't see any wrinkles. No idea if she was being serious but I think she was. Made my bloody day Grin

Floydthebarber · 18/03/2022 18:46

Well, she probably did but I was trying to be funny on a light hearted thread... won't make that mistake again.

Hopeful16 · 18/03/2022 18:47

@antisocialsocialclub

De-ages not dragged ☺️
I bloomin hope so! 👍🏻
WeCouldBeSpearows · 18/03/2022 18:49

@DogsDryWineAndCheese

WeCouldBeSpearows

Sadly not, no. But as per my post, she knows me - she calls me by my name. She bought me a card several moons ago for my 18th. That’s what bizarre!

It doesn't matter if we know the person - if they are under 25 they might be sent in to do a check, so we are told to ask for I.D. But if she knows you and she knows you are over 25, that makes no sense.
TheWeeDonkeys · 18/03/2022 18:50

Im 33 OP and I'm surprised when I dont get ID'd.

A few months ago I was buying water & paracetamol and she asked for ID, I laughed in her face & asked for what? Then I realised she wasn't joking, luckily I had it on me! I dont look my age but i definitely look older than 16!

Floydthebarber · 18/03/2022 18:51

@Floydthebarber

Well, she probably did but I was trying to be funny on a light hearted thread... won't make that mistake again.
Sigh, this was supposed to be a reply.to this: *Floydthebarber

I had the assistant at an Aldi self-service till press the 'over 25' button WITHOUT EVEN SEEING MY FACE! I clearly have the back of a woman in her late thirties.

How do you know they didn't see your face?

When I'm on the self scan checkouts, I watch as people are approaching them, and note if they look over 25, if I can see alcohol etc in their basket (when I can, it's not always possible).*

Too old to get ID'd and work the internet apparently.

Floydthebarber · 18/03/2022 18:52

Ffs, what I wouldn't give for an edit button!

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