To not want to give people free advice?

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I work in the legal sector, studied Law at both undergrad and postgrad level and I am hoping to work towards becoming a barrister.

Since starting my undergrad Law degree I have always had people (family & friends) reach out to me to ask for advice. I have always tried to answer their questions based on what I know but warned them I am not a professional. Since gaining my current position I now specialise in a certain area of Law that a lot of people are wanting advice in. I don’t mind people asking me the odd question here and there but I am increasingly getting messages asking for advice and even people asking if I will meet them. I have told these people that I can’t do that and it’s constantly been met with “it’s not really legal advice I just wanted to meet for a coffee and a chat”.

I work very long hours. Sometimes I’m working 14+ hour days going over massive amounts of paperwork and I come home with my brain frazzled. I want to be able to switch off when I finish work and not constantly be asked my professional opinion. I have friends who are hair dressers and I wouldn’t ask them to do my hair for free, so to me this feels like the same thing. However, there is a part of me that’s thinking well it’s not like I’m doing their paperwork and legal advice is more important than that so should I be giving these people some time? A lot of the people who are asking my opinion are not well off and would probably struggle to afford professional advice so I’m not sure what to do. I obviously don’t want their lives to be negatively impacted by not gaining appropriate advice but if I did it for one person, how many would I be meeting? I’m not a charity As I said, I don’t mind answering messages here and there or even pointing people towards a solicitor in that area but suddenly it feels like a lot. I’m on a salary right now so even if I was giving these people advice through work I wouldn’t be paid any extra for it.

So AIBU to not want to give advice to these people? And if I am please can you help me come up with a reply because I just keep being met with “I only wanted a coffee and a chat” when I tell them I can’t meet up with them and give them legal advice.

I know the feeling. I'm a nurse and it's not unheard of to have strangers asking me to look at their bunions or so forth.
I will give quick advice for little things, but mainly I will say you should see your gp/ practice nurse about it.
Could you not do the same and so something short but add you should really contact a ...... about it.

I work in a sort of similar field, whereby I have specialist knowledge and people often ask me for my opinion on just a small thing…

It’s the same as doctors - a friend of mine is a dermatologist and now lies at parties otherwise people whip off their tops and ask her to look at a dodgy mole.

The way I get around it is speak to them in a polite way in an informal way, but once the questions are too detailed / time too long, I say “really sorry but I can’t answer anything further, I am not allowed to give advice for non-clients but I can point you in the direction of some good resources if that would help, just let me know. Anyway, Mike said you’re going to Sri Lanka, when are you off….?”

Lots of professions don’t actually allow you to give free information and advice or you’d be under the cloche so I’d just go with that tbh.

Not at all unreasonable, I think I’d have a cut and paste response ready saying that as you work long hours you’ve decided to prioritise your mental health and not offer legal advice in your leisure time but you’re happy to point them in the right direction. There more you do it the more people will expect it, I’ve learnt the hard way that people don’t value stuff that’s free.

Tell them you are not insured and therefore not able to advice outside your employed work.
TBH it is dangerous for you to do so - you will not have all the necessary info in front of you, and may give wrong or negligent advice, for which you will be legally responsible.
You can say "it's not my area, and I don't want to give misleading advice", you can refer them to Citizen's Advice or to professional colleagues. But you should not be giving advice in a situation where you are not covered by insurance should things go tits up! Stick to your guns. Just say no.

Same. I have a law qualification in a particular area and I’ve worked in this area for 15 years.

The amount of times I get hit-up tor free advice is shocking. I now give a very firm “no”.

I also find that, when they’re not paying you, people only tell you half the story to make themselves look better and then get upset when you advice you give isn’t relevant to them because they haven’t really told you what’s happening.

An airy "haha sorry, it's not my area of expertise, I'm in business to business, I know nothing about wills/divorce/employment and I wouldn't want to advise you incorrectly. You could end up suing me "
This works for me.

One of my good friends is a GP. Every single party/pta meeting/church supper etc someone asks their advice about something.

"I've got a terrible rash",
"Do you think i've got tonsillitis",
"I can't bend my elbow properly."

She gets out of it with good grace and humour each time by pretending she doesn't know that 'bit'

"I'm sorry I was off when they taught rashes"
"I missed the day they did tonsils at med school"
"I was away when they taught us about elbows" etc etc

YANBU. Some people just take the piss. It's really not your problem so don't feel guilty. As pp's above, I imagine it's a bit like being a doctor "could you just take a quick look at these pimples on my arse" 😉

I'm a Solicitor and nowadays don't give free advice to anyone. As a poster said, apart from being annoying, it's dangerous and you're opening yourself up for a potential negligence claim that your firm's insurance won't cover. Either take them on as a client of your firm or not at all

God I used to get this all the time, I do biomechanics and people would ask me if I could treat their parents, friends, relatives (for free naturally).
I had to be very firm in the end and say sorry no, I'm not at work now please get a referral from your GP and you can see somebody in my department but there is a long waiting list.
People would actually get the right hump that I wasn't offering my services for free. CF's.

I actually do the opposite
I have friends who are Doctors, Dentists, vets etc and I avoid asking them to give their professional opinion on anything. My vet friend was pissed off with me the other day because I hadn’t asked her something!!
They are CF and you shouldn’t give them free advice, especially if it could end up biting you on the arse

I’m a solicitor - I say I’m not insured unless I’ve opened a file and got a matter number through the firm.

Doesn’t stop some persistent friends asking - usually for big stakes employment law advice (huge severance payments etc). I am not an employment lawyer. I wouldn’t see an orthopaedic surgeon for a brain tumour and your shouldn’t ask me for employment law advice. In one case I was bullied into offering an opinion on an employment matter by a “friend” - who then gleefully told me later that her employment lawyer who she paid offered a different view. No kidding!

Say unfortunately you're not insured to give them advice because there's no contract or it goes against your company's employment policy or something. Might be a bit bogus but chances are they won't know any different.

My response (not a solicitor, but another advising profession) is that I'm unable to give a professional opinion unless I'm being paid as my professional indemnity insurance only covers paid work that's been put through the office.

Ok, it's a little white lie. But it generally works.

This happens a lot even when you are in IT. 'Oh can you fix my printer/laptop please, it won't take long'. You do it then.

Not unreasonable at all, i think maybe some brief chit chats are acceptable you know for instance I don’t know about what the law says on a particular topic in the news, then it’s more like a valued opinion or brief next steps over basic things like fence disputes, but you’re not legal aid. As PP said it’s dangerous for you to do so too.

I used to work in financial advise as did DH and we got it all the time. Family members would ask for pensions advice, not realising that just because you’ve got the quals, if you aren’t working in that role you’re not authorised and regulated, there is a huge conflict of interest, no insurance the list goes on. DH had a cousin ask for self assessment tax advice too, to which DH informed him he wasn’t an accountant nor has he ever been, for the family member to argue back with him and say he was (?!) and then get shirty because he correctly told him he wasn’t and he’d have to see an accountant. CFs everywhere,
Most of them take the hump as well when you decline their requests.

Thanks for all of the responses, glad to see you don’t think I’m BU and (unfortunately) I’m not the only one who gets this!

I think what I’m struggling with the most is that I work in Family Law so some of the stuff people are asking me for advice with is quite alarming. I try to point people in the direction of people who can deal with it professionally but I get met with “I can’t afford it” and they want to deal with things on their own so I’m being asked which document to file where and what they need for what and basically walk them through everything, which can be quite a lot of things. I have tried telling them it’s against my work contract and that I’m not insured and people are still pushing. It’s just hard when I’m getting messages off people pleading poverty and their DH has been a dick and can I help with some advice.

As I said I don’t mind answering a couple of questions, usually “is it legal for someone to do this” so I can say either yes, no or here’s a contact for a colleague, but these people never usually ask a few questions and want to sit down for a whole chat! I need to be able to say no without feeling guilty! I haven’t actually sat down with anyone for a chat but every time my phone goes off or I bump into people at social gatherings I am on edge because I know I am going to get jumped on.

I have a couple of unopened messages from two male colleagues that I used to work with and the general gist that I got when they flashed up is they’re being denied access to their children. But as PP mentioned above, when they’re not paying you they don’t tend to give the fully story and IME it’s rare that the Mother denies access without a good reason. So I really don’t want to get involved with any advice on that at all but one of them keeps sending further messages even though I haven’t opened any of them.

I think I just need to be able to say “No, sorry”, and ignore any further messages.

Planning consultant here and I’ve had it for my entire career. I work in a very specialised field so I actually genuinely don’t know anything about extensions and sheds but it doesn’t stop them asking.

I don’t have an answer for how to make them stop. I’d be glad of one myself

It’s a bloody cheek. I have a friend who is a GP. I make a point to not ask her anything medical related. She sometimes volunteers her opinion but I don’t ever ask her for advice.

I’m a fund manager and people often ask me what they should invest in / what they should do with their accumulated wealth. I don’t wish to talk about work when I’m relaxing. Some people have no absolutely self awareness.

I am in an area of law that is unhelpful to the general public so don't get this as much as other lawyers but still get a lot of Qs. I normally get out of this by sending them a link to a relevant article on the citizens advice website, which covers most issues people ask about. Other times I'll just give super high level advice by text like "maybe think about X" or "you could only get your money back by using small claims Court so go have a Google of that" etc but it would be harder if that was your specific area. Could you maybe say "I would love to help but unfortunately I get inundated with these sort of requests and so now have a policy that I just can't help unless it's on the books, if you want to go ahead with that call my secretary on X. I'm sure you understand".

The male former colleagues is particularly cheeky!
Your response should be the same as what their response would be if you asked them to come and do a couple of hours DIY for you free of charge.

It was drummed into us when I did my LPC that you are to never ever offer advice on your own time and ad hoc. The downsides (for you) are way too awful.

I don't practice anymore but whenever I am asked for advice I say that i am not insured and so cannot give it, but if they wish I can direct them to (usually 3, and always from different firms) experts who can help. When I was practicing i said my firm had a cast iron rule and if they wished to call the firm and become a client then this was the number to call.

Oddly enough not a single person has taken me up on either of those options. But at least I am protected. (One friend was quite pushy about getting me to write her will for cash in hand. I told her I was not a specialist in probate and besides she was actually paying for a law firm;s indemnity insurance in case they got it wrong).

Make up soke story about you and the last person you gave free advice to ending up in the shit because of your advice, they didn't have insurance or any comeback or some other claptrap.

Alternatively start telling people you do something totally boring and different.

Don’t you need to be quite tough to work in Family? Channel that.

A good friend and I will help each other- she does Wills and Probate, I do Residential Property. But that’s a mutual thing. I wouldn’t for anyone else.

"Law society rules, I can only give advice through my work as I have to set you up properly as a client" - done.