To not want to give people free advice?

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I work in the legal sector, studied Law at both undergrad and postgrad level and I am hoping to work towards becoming a barrister.

Since starting my undergrad Law degree I have always had people (family & friends) reach out to me to ask for advice. I have always tried to answer their questions based on what I know but warned them I am not a professional. Since gaining my current position I now specialise in a certain area of Law that a lot of people are wanting advice in. I don’t mind people asking me the odd question here and there but I am increasingly getting messages asking for advice and even people asking if I will meet them. I have told these people that I can’t do that and it’s constantly been met with “it’s not really legal advice I just wanted to meet for a coffee and a chat”.

I work very long hours. Sometimes I’m working 14+ hour days going over massive amounts of paperwork and I come home with my brain frazzled. I want to be able to switch off when I finish work and not constantly be asked my professional opinion. I have friends who are hair dressers and I wouldn’t ask them to do my hair for free, so to me this feels like the same thing. However, there is a part of me that’s thinking well it’s not like I’m doing their paperwork and legal advice is more important than that so should I be giving these people some time? A lot of the people who are asking my opinion are not well off and would probably struggle to afford professional advice so I’m not sure what to do. I obviously don’t want their lives to be negatively impacted by not gaining appropriate advice but if I did it for one person, how many would I be meeting? I’m not a charity As I said, I don’t mind answering messages here and there or even pointing people towards a solicitor in that area but suddenly it feels like a lot. I’m on a salary right now so even if I was giving these people advice through work I wouldn’t be paid any extra for it.

So AIBU to not want to give advice to these people? And if I am please can you help me come up with a reply because I just keep being met with “I only wanted a coffee and a chat” when I tell them I can’t meet up with them and give them legal advice.

@RobotValkyrie

Every single skilled professional gets that. You're not that special, just young and naive, possibly a bit too proud of your oh-so-unique newly acquired qualifications (saviour complex?), and as a result, bad at saying no.

For years (decades), IT professionals have been wearing "no, I won't fix your computer" t-shirts, maybe you should get yourself one of these custom printed for lawyers?

Chip on your shoulder about lawyers? Yawn.

@eastegg

Chip on your shoulder about lawyers? Yawn.

Well, she is right- although I do feel she is unnecessarily rude about it!

As someone said, you get this in quite a few different jobs.
Me, I'm a Tradie. I always get "can you just do this, can you just do that" and they never want to pay proper prices for it or expe t it completely free. There are a very select few who I would help out for free as long as materials were paid for by them. It is so annoying. Luckily I can just say I haven't got time to anyone out of the circle which is obviously harder for you to do.
I've had friends in the past really take advantage, because I do like to help others but I defo had to learn to draw the line somewhere.
One friends boyfriend made some ridiculous comment about how I was earning loads of money there - yet in reality I was losing £70 a day every day that I was there. His comment was kind of the straw that broke the camels back and I thought no more!
So no you are not being unreasonable at all. People need to understand this is what you do everyday and you need a switch of point. It's exhausting otherwise.

The coffee or drink is very common. I do product development for manufacturing fairly niche products. The question is mainly if I can give them a list of suppliers and manufacturer in return for a drink. Most don’t understand that this knowledge is actually a large part of the value of my business.
There is some suppliers I don’t mind sharing but I don’t want to travel across London to meet up somewhere convenient and to spend a couple of hours with them if I could go home and spend time with DH and DD.

It’s not just professionals who get this though. My dad is good at DIY, it’s not his job but he gets often asked if he could come over and help build something. It’s often a large building or renovation project which takes several days. He very often does it without the other person ever helping him in return. His own projects get moved more and more back and I said to him the other day that he needs to stop helping others if he wants to finish the kitchen and dining table before he dies. I think it hit home.

Yes - people who have jobs in plumbing / electricals / building etc get massively bombarded with requests for free work!

A solicitor here as well. You just need to grow a thick skin and say "sorry, can't help, here's the gov website." You're young and polite now, when you're 10 years into your profession it will get easier to tell them all to piss off if they're rude!

@Eileen101

An airy "haha sorry, it's not my area of expertise, I'm in business to business, I know nothing about wills/divorce/employment and I wouldn't want to advise you incorrectly. You could end up suing me " This works for me.

Good plan. I also work in an area which is pretty useless to individuals so maybe just say you changed practice areas (how about something like corporate tax/pension schemes/a niche area of trusts law?)

Tell them that when you give advice to your clients, professional indemnity insurance will cover you if you make a mistake, but if you give informal advice to a friend over a coffee and they rely on it as “legal advice” you would not be covered by insurance should they or someone connected to the situation decide the advice is wrong and sue you…

Total sympathy OP, I used to get this in a different job. People don’t understand that it takes energy and effort to work oht the answer to their question, they think it’s stuff you just know.

accountant - happens to me too
some people I help if there's a quid pro quo, but otherwise "I work in a charity, don't do tax" is a useful get out.

Just give them your business card, tell them to call and book an appointment.

I'm an accountant too. There are never any quick & easy answers. Everything we did requires research. Starting by fact finding, i.e. for a business, is it a sole trader, p'ship, LLP or limited - there are different rules for each. Likewise different rules between a business and a property let and again different for a furnished holiday let. The "fact finding" alone takes time, and then once you know all that, you then have slightly different rules, gray areas etc to explain for even simple queries.

So, for someone sidling up to me at a party and saying glibly "can I claim for a new kitchen", there are literally dozens of scenarios, and no "yes or no" answer.

Even the simplest of questions from our clients gets a time allocation of an hour to do the fact finding, then the research, then a properly considered response, and most go beyond that initial hour allocation.

The term 'Can I ask a quick question?' fills me with dread. There is no such thing as a 'quick question'.

I once had a "friend" ask me if I could draw her up terms and conditions for her new business. For free. "As a favour". She would send me an email with her instructions. It was quite a complex business involving the hire of vehicles.

She was most put out when I said no, it wasn't my field, I'd never done it before, it was important to get it right and it needed to be done by someone who did it all the time who would be covered by professional indemnity insurance. A few months later, she told me, quite accusingly, that she had had to pay £2000 for someone to do it!

Don't get me started on "mates' rates".

@SucculentChalice

A few months later, she told me, quite accusingly, that she had had to pay £2000 for someone to do it!

I hope you told her that was money well spent and an investment to ensure she protected HER business? 🌹

GAH! I have just received a text from a friend of a friend on my personak asking me a long winded question. I've blocked the CF. I can't believe the cheek.