To not want to give people free advice?

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I work in the legal sector, studied Law at both undergrad and postgrad level and I am hoping to work towards becoming a barrister.

Since starting my undergrad Law degree I have always had people (family & friends) reach out to me to ask for advice. I have always tried to answer their questions based on what I know but warned them I am not a professional. Since gaining my current position I now specialise in a certain area of Law that a lot of people are wanting advice in. I don’t mind people asking me the odd question here and there but I am increasingly getting messages asking for advice and even people asking if I will meet them. I have told these people that I can’t do that and it’s constantly been met with “it’s not really legal advice I just wanted to meet for a coffee and a chat”.

I work very long hours. Sometimes I’m working 14+ hour days going over massive amounts of paperwork and I come home with my brain frazzled. I want to be able to switch off when I finish work and not constantly be asked my professional opinion. I have friends who are hair dressers and I wouldn’t ask them to do my hair for free, so to me this feels like the same thing. However, there is a part of me that’s thinking well it’s not like I’m doing their paperwork and legal advice is more important than that so should I be giving these people some time? A lot of the people who are asking my opinion are not well off and would probably struggle to afford professional advice so I’m not sure what to do. I obviously don’t want their lives to be negatively impacted by not gaining appropriate advice but if I did it for one person, how many would I be meeting? I’m not a charity As I said, I don’t mind answering messages here and there or even pointing people towards a solicitor in that area but suddenly it feels like a lot. I’m on a salary right now so even if I was giving these people advice through work I wouldn’t be paid any extra for it.

So AIBU to not want to give advice to these people? And if I am please can you help me come up with a reply because I just keep being met with “I only wanted a coffee and a chat” when I tell them I can’t meet up with them and give them legal advice.

I know someone who got a friend's dad to do their conveyancing, even though he didn't usually cover property law.

He didn't notice that the original owner kept the access to the property (or similar). Right royally stuffed them up!

OP find a phrase you like. Then repeat it in from of the mirror 10 times.

"sorry, can't help, as I am not insured yet. Happy to take you on as a client though when I am qualified. I'll give you the first 10 mins free'.

CF them right back.

It’s the same as doctors - a friend of mine is a dermatologist and now lies at parties otherwise people whip off their tops and ask her to look at a dodgy mole.

As an ex teacher I always found that the medical profession were among the quickest to slag teachers off in one breath then seek advice about little Johnny's reading in the other.
I was once berated by a Vicar's wife about school hours and holidays yet she was appalled when I pointed out that her husband did an hour on Sunday morning and the odd hatched, matched and dispatched.

I have very strong boundaries and not giving legal advice. If people seriously want/need advice they'll instruct. It's not about money, it's about doing it properly.

That said, I've fallen out quite serwith someone I considered a good friend. She suddenly sent me some very specific legal questions and made out that they were for a person she was trying to help as a favour. I asked more info and she sort of giggled and confessed it was for her husband's firm! Haven't spoken to her since.

Wry smile at this thread. Like pp I am also HPC worker. I make a general comment, like “yes that can be difficult” or “yes it can be complex”. If they persist I say “You can ask for a referral via etc etc” and like pp I say straight out that I don’t do voluntary work. Once a friend asked me to see a member of their family privately. After the consultation, they showed me out hastily. They never spoke to me again after I sent my invoice. There seems to be blurred lines between friends and business. Never mix the two if you can help it. Some people consider it a chat amongst friends. Some don’t want or intend to pay.

I get this as a lawyer too. And even worse, my mum gets "could your daughter help me" from her friends and my dad was always annoyed I wouldn't do his conveyancing for him.

I do sometimes butt in on social media (including here) when I see people posting rubbish though and will say it's not correct and point people towards reputable websites for accurate guidance.

I have a professional qualification. My local area has a Facebook group and I've lost count of the number of times someone has asked if there is someone of that profession able to answer a 'quick question' or have a chat or similar. Sometimes remuneration isn't mentioned at all, sometimes they'll offer a pint in exchange. One person even offered to cook a meal in exchange. It really annoys me. Why do they think that just because I live by them, they shouldn't have to pay for my knowledge and expertise. I don't think they'd ask for an electrician to come and help them for free but I do wonder whether because for me it would just be time and thought rather than anything tangible, they don't value it as much. Drives me potty!

[quote itsabouttimetoo]@SnowWhiteLobelia agreed![/quote]
:)

My former boss (and equity partner of my former firm) tried to do a favour for a friend and bypassed our specialist team to do what appeared to him to be a run of the mill set of documents in a completely different area of law. Ballsed it up and when i quit that job the resulting negligience claim was just getting started.

1. People are CFs.
2. People have no clue of the risks they are asking you to take.

I'm a doctor. I've lost count of the number of people who have asked me to "take a quick look at my mole". They get pissed off when I say no, because "It would only take you a second". Sure, but if I say it's OK and it's a melanoma, that mistake could cost you your life, and me my career.

I am always happy to advise friends and family (though not CFs at parties), how to get medical advice for an issue. I will not give medical advice, unless it's a genuine emergency, in which case I will usually be sending them to A&E!

That's the point though. These friends put you in touch with someone who could help. They could not help themselves and you had to pay in the end ofr proper advice. I used to say 'I cannot help you because - but here are the details of those who can

that's just good networking - we all (should) do that - point people in the direction of others who may be able to help them (not just law, but anything)

Editor here. People think nothing of dumping 600-pp of closely typed memoir that starts ‘Got up. had breakfast’ on you, or worse, on your family who think publishing is ‘nice reading books all day.’

Get skilled at the educated handoff - tell them where to ring and when.

I'd always say "I will lose my job if I give advice out of working hours. It's one of the conditions of my employment". It usually worked since pretty much no one would want you to lose your job.

In my case, it was true. Civil Service, not allowed to advise or help people I knew in any way with issues involving my agency. But I'd think it'd work for a solicitor/barrister-in-training, too.

Solicitor here. Be less open about what area you specialise in. Be firmer Op. Not my area. Not covered by insurance. You can recommend a colleague or firm to assist.
Remember recent case of architect who gave free garden design advice being sued by her ex neighbours (she was ultimately not liable but massively stressful/exp for her no doubt)
I learnt lesson newly qualified. We were on a high street, local business owners would pop in for a ‘chat’ with my boss (free advice). He spent ages talking to chippy man. Later he went into chippy ordering fish & peas paid (you think man would have said on the house) then boss says oh can you put me a few chips in and he charged boss 20p extra. He’s has a few hundred pounds of free advice! Really hit home to me how people are.

I'd just say even things that look simple can be incredibly complex and I cant give you good advice without all the details. I'd hate to charge you but I'm not insured to practice without a paid contract in place/its instant dismissal from my employer/some other excuse.

Yep, everybody gets a bit of it. I get offers to work for free all the time. Apparently, it is for my own benefit, it would help me if I add it to my CV!

@DogInATent

My response (not a solicitor, but another advising profession) is that I'm unable to give a professional opinion unless I'm being paid as my professional indemnity insurance only covers paid work that's been put through the office.

Ok, it's a little white lie. But it generally works.

For solicitors it is not even a white lie.

They are not insured and they can still be found liable for negligent or incorrect advice even when given outside the scope of their employment or as a favour.

I don’t agree with totally snubbing these requests. I have had many instructions from friends/acquaintances who have become clients by saying something like

“That’s certainly something I can look into for you, would you mind summarising that on an email to [work email] and I can have a think about the best approach and get my secretary to send you a quote.”

Don’t turn work away!

I've got a close school mum friend who's a GP and I never ask her anything...

I am a doctor and would happily share 'like for like' advice with other friends in similar jobs. I tend to be quite risk averse so it's usually recommending to see their doctor for XY or Z, it's unlikely I give any complicated or risky advice. If old friends come out the woodwork I usually don't reply if it's a message, and have no qualms saying no 'see your GP, I'm not insured to give advice like this'.

@grimmmm

I am a doctor and would happily share 'like for like' advice with other friends in similar jobs. I tend to be quite risk averse so it's usually recommending to see their doctor for XY or Z, it's unlikely I give any complicated or risky advice. If old friends come out the woodwork I usually don't reply if it's a message, and have no qualms saying no 'see your GP, I'm not insured to give advice like this'.

A friend of mine is a doctor, I have queried something with her and she signposted me which was super helpful.

My friend was really helpful when my exh left me, not giving professional advice specific to my situation but really helpful guidance on what to do and crucially who was best to speak to - for close friends signposting them is not ignoring their situation but is ensuring they get correct advice.

OP can’t you just say you can’t advise as you don’t know if there’s any conflict of interest? When I did my divorce I had to give my/ex name at an intro appt before they’d do anything in case he’d approached the firm- I assumed this was why?

I think you need to learn to be vague with your job title. Never disclose it exactly, nor divulge what specialism you have. It has always worked for me.

SIL is a doctor but I’ve never asked her for medical advice, doesn’t seem fair.

Oh yeah- I work in data analysis and literally never get any follow up qs about my job if you wanted a boring cover story 😁