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Original poster

Partner has left me, I'm devastated

269 replies

LakeIsle48 · 15/03/2022 22:29

Hi I hope all is well. My partner of 9 years has left me completely out of the blue. We were so close and had such a good time but suddenly it's all over. I am completely devastated. I honestly don't know how I will ever recover.

I have been having some menopausal problems with memory loss and concentration. He did show some signs that he was losing his patience at times. I tried to keep him informed about how I was feeling. We still have a good physical relationship. He just ended it today and I'm really upset

He was so cold when he told me it was over and shamefully I begged him not to end it.

I'm 56 and I'm worried about my future alone. I can't believe that he ended it so brutally.

I've read about other mums who have been in my position and my heart goes out to them. I feel utterly dumped and my heart is smashed to pieces. Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Onlyforcake · 15/03/2022 22:34

Sorry you're going through this at the moment Flowers. Take care of yourself, keep hydrated, try to eat regularly until you find yourself able to navigate this more clearly.

LakieLady · 15/03/2022 22:37

So sorry you're going through this, OP. It must have been such a shock.

Flowers

Focussing on practical stuff can help distract from the pain, especially if it's stuff like getting all his things and chucking them in the nearest skip.

LightSpeeds · 15/03/2022 22:38

So sorry to hear this Thanks

Bogeyes · 15/03/2022 22:42

Stay strong. X

faceonfire · 15/03/2022 22:42

It’s not much comfort just now but if someone can be so cold and unfeeling then they’ve shown you the kind of person they are deep down.

It is absolutely a form of grief when a relationship comes to an end so please take good care of yourself.

You’ll come out the other end in time and you’ll hopefully see that for him to do this to you so coldly is callous and completely rotten

❤️

Want2beme · 15/03/2022 22:53

That's really tough. Take each moment as it comes and don't expect too much from yourself. You will get through thisFlowers

Sittingonabench · 15/03/2022 22:58

I’m so sorry you are going through this - it will be a huge shock. Talking about it can help but please try and focus on the wonderful person you are and all your amazing qualities and accomplishments - don’t let those be clouded or taken away from you. The next chapter of your life may be different to what you expected but it could be amazing and if you don’t want to be alone can you reach out to family and friends? Wishing you all the strength you need to get through it.

Original poster
LakeIsle48 · 15/03/2022 23:00

Thanks very much for your support, it means a lot to me!

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/03/2022 23:00

Is he having a crisis? Depressed?
Very strange I'd be shocked if in your situation too. I'm sorry.

Xpologog · 15/03/2022 23:04

I’m so sorry. What a bastard.
As pps have said make sure you drink, eat when you can. Feel free to cut up his favourite suit/ties/sweaters- it’s therapeutic. On a practical level if you have a joint account empty it before he does. Get as much money as you can into your name as you may need it for solicitors etc… ( you can always share it later on but for now it will give you some control back and may well be needed)

Original poster
LakeIsle48 · 15/03/2022 23:04

Sitting & everyone thanks so much for your kind words. I drank most of a bottle of wine and really regret that decision. I'll keep reading your supportive words and start again tomorrow. Thanks again, you've been a huge help!!!

OP posts:
NicotineQueen223 · 15/03/2022 23:04

I am so sorry. It's heartbreaking and it feels like it will never get better but I promise it will Flowers it's shit and will take some time but you will definitely be happy again, happier than ever. Look after yourself and cry as much as you need but keep your chin up and know that whatever happens you will be ok.

Functioningnot · 15/03/2022 23:06

So sorry OP. How cruel. No real advice but I’m thinking of you tonight.

JackieQueen · 15/03/2022 23:07

So sorry Flowers.

BoldMove · 15/03/2022 23:08

Thats really shit. If you're going through that and he's not there for you now, imagine how it would be if you had a serious illness? You're not necessarily going to be alone forever. I've known lots of women older than you who have met people.
What a shock for you. It's harder to come to terms with when there wasn't a warning. You will get over it. 9 years is a long time. You need time to grieve and then learn to love yourself. Hopefully you have some good friends and family in rl to help you through this. And you will get through this you just can't seevit at the moment. Sending you a mn hug and Flowers

Original poster
LakeIsle48 · 15/03/2022 23:09

I don't think he's having a crisis. We were supposed to be going to a family wedding shortly but I guess I'm no longer invited to the wedding. I really loved his family. He didnt try to comfort me at all. He's not bothered about me. Well I'll live and learn. I'll move on and hopefully time will help.

Thanks again for your support tonight x

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 15/03/2022 23:10

That's horrendous.

What did he say?

If he has ended it so coldly, I'd be willing to bet it's not you & there's something else going on.

Are you linked financially / live together? Have you good support IRL to get you through, emotionally & practically? 💐

JeanMarie · 15/03/2022 23:10

I'm so sorry this has happened and you're hurting so much. I've been there and it's the coldness which is so devastating. It's so hard to fathom how someone you thought loved you can be so brutal. In the days, weeks,months ahead you'll go through a whole gamut of emotions....but you will get through it. Be kind to yourself and if you have friends / family you can lean on ....let them support you. I wish you all the strength in the world. xx

AbsoluteTruths · 15/03/2022 23:14

Do you have children with him OP?

Ispini · 15/03/2022 23:20

Lots of 💐💐💐💐. He is being very callous. I have started menopause and it’s not fun at all, I feel like I’m a hormonal teen again but my DH is so supportive even though I can see his irritation with me daily.
Please get to the doc and see if HRT or a change in HRT would help. Hopefully he doesn’t ever get ill and need your support and help.
It’s him , not you!

BOOTS52 · 15/03/2022 23:23

Am sorry you are going through this, just try to be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes and please do not contact him as he has shown his true colours. He is trying to point the blame at you so he feels better in himself. Have you tried hrt as I have just started so hopefully will help as in peri meno so understand what you going through. He has shown that he will not be understanding if you have any kind of crisis and really think there is more to it than that. Reach out to friends/family and post on here whenever you need some support. Try to get some sleep and put yourself first now.

Aaaabbbcccc · 15/03/2022 23:23

Sorry OP, I really feel for you in so many ways. It is shocking that he has done this. I hope you will get some answers soon.

BobHadBitchTits · 15/03/2022 23:23

Prepare yourself for there being another woman.

Aaaabbbcccc · 15/03/2022 23:24

Whatever happens you will find a way through this.

Incognito32 · 15/03/2022 23:25

Did he give any reason? What an absolute shock for you!

It will take time OP. Have a look at the 5 stages of grief/break up and know that it's completely normal to go through them all and all the different emotions. Big hug xx