Partner has left me, I'm devastated

[LakeIsle48]

Hi I hope all is well. My partner of 9 years has left me completely out of the blue. We were so close and had such a good time but suddenly it's all over. I am completely devastated. I honestly don't know how I will ever recover.

I have been having some menopausal problems with memory loss and concentration. He did show some signs that he was losing his patience at times. I tried to keep him informed about how I was feeling. We still have a good physical relationship. He just ended it today and I'm really upset

He was so cold when he told me it was over and shamefully I begged him not to end it.

I'm 56 and I'm worried about my future alone. I can't believe that he ended it so brutally.

I've read about other mums who have been in my position and my heart goes out to them. I feel utterly dumped and my heart is smashed to pieces. Thanks for reading x

Aw Im so sorry 💓
I really hope youll pull through.

Has he been in contact since? Only time will tell what was going on.
Best thing to do, cry it out, talk to friends and family, dont bottle it up and you do you!

Lots of love x

This happened to my mum's best friend a few months ago, it was a huge shock! She's in her 60's (only mentioning as you were worried about your age) and a couple of months later got in touch with a former colleague of hers who she had always got on with... He was sadly widowed a few years ago. She's currently sat in Heathrow about to go on a holiday to Florida with him, he's paying. She definitely got the last laugh 😁

Mum61 I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I'm sure that was a terrible time. The way you explained the stages of grief is really helpful. I hope I am not being self indulgent. I've been inundated with stories like mine and so many of you have been in this or other very painful situations.

Abhannmor, I'll get dressed and go outside. I'm sure the neighbours think I've died. Maybe if I open the curtains things will feel better. Now I just cringing at my behaviour, self pity much??? I'll have to leave my house by my back door. My neighbours are amazing. They were even annoyed and upset for me when they heard. As well as everything else I now have to mow the front and back garden. It's a complete state. I know they have noticed the complete disarray my hiding out has caused. Everyone apart from me has curtains, blinds etc open by half past 2.

I will actually have to wash my hair and put on clean clothes. That is going to take some time. Maybe I'll wait til it's dark. My neighbours are amazing but they would need to be blind not to see the disarray. I've also missed the bin men. Chaos really

Bornin that's amazing!! Things can really change for the better. How better did it get for your mum's best friend, that's amazing. I'm delighted for her!

What a turd.... Both of them.

It's the ultimate betrayal isn't it... Your BF and your husband...

Although I have come across 2 women whose mothers have had long standing affairs with their son in laws 😩😩. How on earth one gets past that!

My ex left. By text, after 14 years together and we have DC. Yes, it was a OW.

I had no idea. I'm 7 years along now and have a much better life than I did with him. I'm so happy he left.

It gets better. Took me a few month, but it got much better.

My first job today was to mow the garden. Massive fail on that count. He had locked my shed and I couldn't remember the code. I tried everything and then got a screwdriver and unscrewed the screws and got into the shed. I was upset at that because I realised he did the jobs like that. I wasnt upset for long. I'm just determined to get my skills back.

I reared my kids and did fine. I will do it myself. I was pretty handy at the jobs because I never wanted a man living in my house. I did the garden, painted all the rooms he interior and sorted it out everything I could. I'd forgotten about all the things I could do.

I'm honestly feeling so much better. I'll do it myself.

It's been a great reminder about how capable I am.

I hope you're having a nice day!

Blim what an asshole. A text message after 14 years!!! Wtf? I love your words 'I'm so happy he left'. I'm actually feeling pretty happy after getting so much support. Let's face it women can and do manage very well on their own devices.

There will be no more crying from me.

I'd love to name check all you great women. My memory is dodgy because of the menopause so I've no chance. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart. I am only looking at the future not the past.

Here's a photo of some of the crap he had at mine, all now heading to the dump! Theres still more and it's getting crushed asap.

Crap belonging to a user

Lady of Shalott, youtur post cracked me up.

Hi, I hope all well with everyone. I just want to tell you that I am 100% over that waste of space. I cried every day and after 3/4 days I was completely fine.

I want to tell anyone who has been in my shoes that you stand a very good chance of enjoying life again. I'm actually enjoying life more because I came out the other side. The support from mums was amazing.

My friends also helped me by being supportive and saying all the right things to me ie he is not worth it ...

He actually assaulted me and to be honest that was the wake up call. I called the police who were great. I didn't press charges but the threat of the police shut him up.

He attempted one last onslaught online but he caved very quickly. All I see now is a weak specimen of a man. I've learned a very valuable lesson. I will never again let anyone make me feel lesser. I have emerged a stronger person

He continued with vile texts which upset me for a bit. A really good friend put me straight and told me not to take any more shit from him. I stood up for myself and told him a few home truths. He shit himself when I told him the reality of a situation, too long to detail, which included more cruel insults. My friend was amazing and told me never to allow anyone to bring me down.

She drafted brilliant things to send to him. No s* but the tide turned very quickly.

I honestly think I'm enjoying life more than ever. It showed me who my real friends are. He slithered back into his hole and hasn't contacted me again.

To anyone in this situation, get some support from people who care about you. Don't take any shit from anyone. Believe you are enough just as you are.

Take care of yourselves x

Morning sweetie x

Same here . We had been together for 21 years and he went off with my best friend , both vehemently denied at the time despite the evidence and live together now!

Hello mums. I don't know if you remember me. My partner ended our 9 year relationship and I was deeply upset. I had a kind of breakdown. My cognitive abilities got worse and worse and I haven't been able to return to work since. My mental health declined and I'm under the mental health team. I'm hoping that this year will be better. It couldn't get any worse but... maybe it can. My ex completely ignored me.

I've had no treatment for Long Covid. I've very recently heard murmurings that I may be referred to a Long Covid clinic. I won't hold my breath.

Financially I'm screwed and will likely lose my house. My house is a 3 bed but I'm looking to downsize to an apartment. This whole Covid thing has been an unmitigated disaster for me.

I hope that things have been better for all the mums.

Best wishes for 2023 x

Hi I hadn't read your earlier posts but am sorry for your update.

Do you need much assistance day to day? Do you have good friends around?

I hope that relocating to a flat will solve your money worries. Happy 2023.

Sorry to read you've been so unwell OP. If you're in the UK, you may be entitled to claim PIP, which would be a help financially. CAB or similar advice agency will be able to help, or there is support from a FB group who advise people on PIP matters.

And it's generally better to sell a property than to go through the repossession process, so if you really think you're at risk of losing it, I'd suggest you think seriously about putting it on the market.

Fellow long covid sufferer here. The long covid clinic really helped me - the rehab programme is based on the Plan, Prioritise and Pace rehab also used by CFS groups so look that up.

Im probably going to lose my job soon. At my worst I was rejected for PIP but got Injury Disablement Benefit - however that was because I caught covid at work - might be worth applying for both anyway.

im so sorry to hear about losing the house. The most important thing is your recovery so I hope you keep a roof over your head and get the support you need for your mental and physical health.

It took over 18 months of fighting for it but I’m about to get psychotherapy on the nhs. Virtually unheard of I know. Go via your Gp for whatever is available and then push for support and not just CBT. Tips: if you suffer from trauma and mention the words “I have nightmares” you stand more of a chance.

Take care of yourself.