Partner has left me, I'm devastated

[LakeIsle48]

Hi I hope all is well. My partner of 9 years has left me completely out of the blue. We were so close and had such a good time but suddenly it's all over. I am completely devastated. I honestly don't know how I will ever recover.

I have been having some menopausal problems with memory loss and concentration. He did show some signs that he was losing his patience at times. I tried to keep him informed about how I was feeling. We still have a good physical relationship. He just ended it today and I'm really upset

He was so cold when he told me it was over and shamefully I begged him not to end it.

I'm 56 and I'm worried about my future alone. I can't believe that he ended it so brutally.

I've read about other mums who have been in my position and my heart goes out to them. I feel utterly dumped and my heart is smashed to pieces. Thanks for reading x

@LakeIsle48

Yes I have space to grieve. I don't want to burden my adult kids. They never liked him. He didn't live with us. I loved him so much. Everyone I know will be going to a big family wedding. soon. I should have been invited but I won't be. I'm embarrassed about that.

I'm still stunned at him leaving without any word to me. I'll have to get over it. It is all so painful. I haven't got out of bed yet. I'm too afraid to go out in case I meet someone. Well I'll have to leave sometime. Thanks for reading.

When my exhusband left I had to get up because my children were small. If I was getting up then I would have a shower and put something clean and ironed on. I would wash and properly dry my hair. I told one person per day what had happened. After a few days the grapevine had done the rest . It will be new news to people initially and then life will move on. Sending you every best wish. It will all come good.

You have got nothing to be embarrassed about. I would be ringing the bride, or texting if easier, to either ask if you are still welcome at her wedding or if she would prefer you stay away. Whatever the response you have done nothing wrong.

There was a programme on the radio recently about getting over heartbreak. The way your body deals with it all is exactly the same as it would deal with addiction. You were in love with this man and now,with no warning, you have to go cold turkey. You wouldn't expect an alcoholic or a smoker to just stop and not suffer any side effects. It is just the same with a lost relationship. You aren't grieving for a dead person but you are grieving for the loss of someone who is still alive. It is still an enormous loss. It is so painful. You need to give yourself time. Take care if yourself. Eat properly, keep well away from alcohol. It is a depressant. It will make things far worse.

Hi friends, I'm just checking in to let you know that I'm actually ok today. Thanks again for keeping me sane last night. I am a pretty independent person but I 100% lost my reason yesterday. Its sunny where I am today and life looks good again. My ex is not the be all of my life.
I have a gorgeous daughter who has bipolar and she needed me today. Focusing on supporting her made me see what's important. My son is a lovely person. They always cheer me up. I just got things out of proportion last night.

I will survive, cue the music. You literally pulled me out of a hole last night.

You are wonderful people and I'm eternally grateful for all your support last night.

Thanks a million. I hope I can help you when you need a hand. Onwards and upwards. THANKS VERY MUCH x

I won't be going to the Wedding, so what!!!! I hope you're having a nice day x

Starry night you are spot on. Cold clinical announcement. I know now I never had a chance. I regret trying to discuss it with me. He demeaned me

So pleased you are feeling better today. Best wishes for the future

Holly I'm up and dressed. I wont be hiding away from anyone. Thanks for your support which I really appreciate.

Beamor and all the gang. He's a poor specimen of a man. No cohoonas what's so ever!

So great to read your posts today. You are amazing. You do not need shitheads in your life. Onwards!

Bring me tea, LOL, in Ireland we are all tea addicts!

Everyone just needs a cup of tea. It's the answer to everything

I've loads of friends in the UK and we are all addicted to a cuppa tea!

Malibuis I'm feeling very well today. The support from you guys has wiped away from the fear of being left alone. I shouldn't have been so fearful but I was scared of change. It turns out its ok

My ex did this to me 10 years ago, we'd been married a year and it was on the anniversary of our / my miscarriage, 10 days before Christmas . Our kids were 5 & 7. I was crushed. Next month I'm marrying a man worth 10 of him. He did the same with his next partner, and her and I are friends to support the kids, and show them what being a decent human being looks like. Chin up my love. There is hope for a brighter future..

Stacey that's great news!!! You are a wonderful example of what it means to be a loving, kind, supportive mum. Congratulations on your Wedding Day. I bet you'll look lovely and be surrounded by people who really care. Best wishes x

Aww, thank you so much. Best of luck to you. One day at a time

@LakeIsle48

Hi friends, I'm just checking in to let you know that I'm actually ok today. Thanks again for keeping me sane last night. I am a pretty independent person but I 100% lost my reason yesterday. Its sunny where I am today and life looks good again. My ex is not the be all of my life. I have a gorgeous daughter who has bipolar and she needed me today. Focusing on supporting her made me see what's important. My son is a lovely person. They always cheer me up. I just got things out of proportion last night.

I will survive, cue the music. You literally pulled me out of a hole last night.

You are wonderful people and I'm eternally grateful for all your support last night.

Thanks a million. I hope I can help you when you need a hand. Onwards and upwards. THANKS VERY MUCH x

You sound like an amazing woman and mother... Hold your head up high.. You got an army behind you! Friends and kids are worth gold. He? Oh he's a piece of gum discarded in the gutter. I'm proud of your handling this with class.

OP, you said in a pp that you were scared to go out in case you bumped into anyone. Practise saying quite breezily, 'Oh we split up. It was definitely for the best.' Because it is. You don't need a cold-hearted man in your life. The fact that your family didn't like him is very revealing. You were probably making a lot of allowances for him. Now you don't have to!

Lovely to hear you feeling so strong @LakeIsle48.

Moving, that must have been very painful. I'm sorry that happened. Its really his loss.

Thanks Sunshine. I'm feeling strong cos I've got my gang behind me aka you guys x

@LakeIsle48, i applaud your resilience.
You may feel sad in moments but you are already moving on.

Beamor that's so shit. She had a lucky escape!

Billy I'll get that stuff tm. Thanks for the recommendation!