Should I break up their engagement?

[Butterfly3105]

So my AIBU is simple I realised I'm in love with a guy i met in Uni, I used to casually see on/ off for around 10 years, and suddenly he's met someone and they're engaged, we were still flirting when this new relationship started (which is annoying) when he told me about the wedding his words were "You had so many chances"

So.. my question is should I tell him how I feel before it's too late and potentially ruin the engagement? Xx

Nope. You want what you can’t have.

I wouldn't. As he said you had many chances, he's found someone now. Give him a chance at that.

You've suddenly realised how you feel about him, now that he's in a serious relationship with someone else? After a decade of not bothering to do anything about it? Are you serious?

Tell him. I bet it won't end his engagement.

@TooBigForMyBoots

Tell him. I bet it won't end his engagement.

Yeah that's what I wanna do just tell him so he knows how much a I care/ cared about him. I doubt it'll break up his engagement but it might stop me being invited to the wedding which I am

He also had so many chances if that was a what he wanted from you, but it obviously wasn’t.

@TooBigForMyBoots

Tell him. I bet it won't end his engagement.

This

You guys aren't in an episode of Friends

Why would you do it though?
It’s all about you without a thought for him.

Your thread title was should I break up their engagement which shows how much you think of yourself.

@veganmayo

He also had so many chances if that was a what he wanted from you, but it obviously wasn’t.

This!

It was a 2 way street!

To tell him now would be unfair to all three of you.
You have had 10 years to make a proper go of things with him, but you never did. Your feelings right now are due to the fact he's been removed as an option by a choice that wasn't yours, giving you the "what ifs".
He was wrong to be flirting with you after the start of this relationship, but there must be something about this girl that he's made the commitment of first being seriously dating, then proposing to her, when he never did either with you.
His fiancee is happy, and comitted to him and their relationship. She doesn't deserve you throwing a spanner in the works by confessing stronger feelings to her fiance.

If you send that message that you're in love with him, you can't take it back. You could ruin their relationship, then potentially find your feelings aren't actually as strong as you think.

OH hell to the NO...
( If you have to ask you already know the answer)

Also, you can choose to not attend the wedding, it's an invite, not a summons. (not that i'd want you there as his fiancee)

OK...I've thought about it...

If you are 100% positive that you are absolutely in love with him. You would marry him tomorrow..then tell him.

If you don't feel the aforementioned then I would say don't.
Nothing hurts more than unrequited love.

You're not in love with him. We don't just suddenly "realise" we are in love with someone we have known for years 🙄 Real life isn't a naff Hollywood romcom. You don't love him, he doesn't love you, as if either of you loved each other you'd already have made a move. You probably liked him, sure, and his attention, and now you're jealous that he's engaged and panicking that you've missed your chance. I bet any money that even if you tell him and he leaves his fiancee, you won't end up together/be together for more than a year.

My Girlfriend was going to get married.
Before her wedding she went to a church choir outing and traveled through Europe for 6 weeks.

She had a month to do the final touches to the big day and a day before the wedding...flowers, cake, hall, everything for a big expensive wedding..
She told her mom that she had fallen in love with a guy on the European tour. Sobbing all the way through the confession.

Her mother said, " If this is true love Janet we will cancel the wedding your happiness is all we care about."
Janet has been married for 25 years to the absolute love of her life with 2 kids.

So if it's that kind of love...I would say..." Go for it..." if not let them live happily ever after.

I think your just scared your back up guy is moving on and worried about being single.

The title of your thread doesn't show you in a very good light at all. If you truly loved him you would be happy for him, surely. You just want what you can't have. But if you want, humiliate yourself by professing your love to him now and watch him not give a damn.

Lives are at stake here... This isn't a game. You are messing with people's feelings.

So think long and hard about it!

He might just have been lightly telling you that whatever he felt for you had ended, the long flirt is over. Because he's met someone and now they're serious and getting married. Leave him alone.

Surely inviting you to the wedding is him saying he's totally over you? It's totally OK to still have feelings for him and maybe the announcement has made you think 'what if'. But, that sounds like all it is. Please just be happy for him, tell his new wife how lucky she is.

Time to grow up.

This sounds more like ego than love.

Sounds like my best friends wedding
..

Get over yourself.

I would Move on and cut all ties with him and that includes going to the wedding.