Should I break up their engagement?

[Butterfly3105]

So my AIBU is simple I realised I'm in love with a guy i met in Uni, I used to casually see on/ off for around 10 years, and suddenly he's met someone and they're engaged, we were still flirting when this new relationship started (which is annoying) when he told me about the wedding his words were "You had so many chances"

So.. my question is should I tell him how I feel before it's too late and potentially ruin the engagement? Xx

Kate Beckinsale made it happen but Julia Roberts couldn't.

Who do you see yourself as, OP - Kate or Julia?

@Butterfly3105

Guess what people he's NOT married yet therefore I can tell him what I like, now is my only chance to, I can't exactly tell him when he's married! I knew him first and it was always timing and awful circumstances that got in the way! Thank you for all your comments (completely different to my friends, I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?) I will tell him and all let you know what happens

The stuff about timing, circumstances etc is a load of rubbish. When two people are genuinely in love and want a future together they make it happen. The right person wrong time narrative is something people say to soothe themselves when they get their heart broken. It's easier to swallow than "he just doesn't want me that much".

Have some compassion and think about his fiancé in this situation. He has proposed to her, made a promise to marry her and she has accepted that proposal because she loves him. How would you feel if you were engaged to the love of your life and an old flame came out of the woodwork to try and spoil things? It's unkind and you would be inviting serious bad karma into your life.

Ps, I'm not married, never been married and I'm probably a similar age to you and your friends. However, I am realistic and don't believe in trying to wreck a couple's engagement over petty jealousy.

Normally people don't wreck other people's happy future plans. 👍🏽

Well @Butterfly3105 as he’s said himself, you had your chance(s) and you blew it! Oh well.

Plenty of fish in the sea!
Get yourself out there and crack on with your own life and let him do the same.

You seem to think it’s ok because it’s not married yet. But he must feel pretty serious about her to be engaged to her. And you know, just to help you out as you seem to not know this…engaged means soon to be married or intending to be married, so it’s just a matter of time before he is.

He’s just not that into you 😊🤷‍♀️

For the love of god no - do not. Word will spread and you will look like a crazy bitch.
You missed your shot, move on.

@AlmostAJillSandwich

To tell him now would be unfair to all three of you. You have had 10 years to make a proper go of things with him, but you never did. Your feelings right now are due to the fact he's been removed as an option by a choice that wasn't yours, giving you the "what ifs". He was wrong to be flirting with you after the start of this relationship, but there must be something about this girl that he's made the commitment of first being seriously dating, then proposing to her, when he never did either with you. His fiancee is happy, and comitted to him and their relationship. She doesn't deserve you throwing a spanner in the works by confessing stronger feelings to her fiance.

If you send that message that you're in love with him, you can't take it back. You could ruin their relationship, then potentially find your feelings aren't actually as strong as you think.

This! Leave them alone OP! You'll find someone of your own who's right for you and ye will both know it, so there won't be any pissing about for 10 years. If he'd really wanted you, he'd have let you know years ago. Sorry, but you need to let go and move on!

OP have you taken any action?
You didn't get the reaction you wanted on here did you?
Do keep us updated 👍🏼

@user1473878824

If you are 100% positive that you are absolutely in love with him. You would marry him tomorrow..then tell him.

Having your engagement ruined by someone deciding they’re in love probably hurts quite a bit.

I have changed my mind about the bitch since I posted that
She is repulsive, selfish twat.*

@Butchyrestingface

Kate Beckinsale made it happen but Julia Roberts couldn't.

Who do you see yourself as, OP - Kate or Julia?

post of the week

@Butchyrestingface & @lemongreentea

I see myself as Kate hopefully Serendipity will help me too 🤣

Oh come on its not the movies 😃

@Monty27

OP have you taken any action? You didn't get the reaction you wanted on here did you? Do keep us updated 👍🏼

Problems not yet as the timing isn't quite right...

Hey @Butterfly3105 what happened next?

When is the wedding?

There is no wedding, the OP has managed to convince the groom to be to ditch his gf and elope with her insread.

In her delusional dreams.
Your parents must be so ashamed to have a selfish, delusional and nasty daughter like you. But maybe thats how they raised you and therefore are as bad as you.

Wow OP. What an unkind, selfish person you must be to be even considering doing this. You need to take a good long look at yourself - do you like the two faced person looking back at you from the mirror? If you do then you need to re-assess your standards.

Do the bride a favour and stay away from the wedding - she shouldn't have to put up with having somebody at the most important day of her life who has been secretly plotting to fuck up her life.

@Butterfly3105 So? What occurred?

I would guess she told him, he cancelled the wedding so they could have a happily ever after together.

Having achieved her goal of breaking up his relationship she realised she didn’t want him at all and sailed off into the sunset leaving a trail of misery behind her

Oh man, I thought there might be an update from @Butterfly3105

It looks like things maybe didn't go her way!!!! She seemed very sure of herself, so I'd hope she's fallen flat on her face with this one, and that he's had a lucky escape.

Why would you want him op?

If he is the kind of guy that is going to carry on flirting with other women whilst committed to someone else ( and you really aren't the only one he is messaging for sure) then WHY on earth would you want him??? Guaranteed to leave you for the next young thing that catches his eye as commitment does not seem to mean very much to him.

You dodged a bullet.
Poor bride to be is marrying the loser in good faith. Your thoughts should be with her. You can blow it up and do her favour, perhaps before she puts down deposits for wedding venues...

He had a lucky escape from you.

If you gave a damn about him you wouldn't even THINK of messing up his engagement.