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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I break up their engagement?

247 replies

Butterfly3105 · 12/03/2022 01:39

So my AIBU is simple I realised I'm in love with a guy i met in Uni, I used to casually see on/ off for around 10 years, and suddenly he's met someone and they're engaged, we were still flirting when this new relationship started (which is annoying) when he told me about the wedding his words were "You had so many chances"

So.. my question is should I tell him how I feel before it's too late and potentially ruin the engagement? Xx

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 12/03/2022 08:51

@WorraLiberty

Yeah that's what I wanna do just tell him so he knows how much a I care/ cared about him. I doubt it'll break up his engagement but it might stop me being invited to the wedding which I am

That's an excellent idea OP, thank you.

The next time I get invited to a wedding I don't want to attend, I'll claim to be in love with the groom.

I think we need to follow you for more avoidance tips. Do you do Christenings and Bar Mitzvahs too? 🤔

Perhaps the smart thing for christenings is to say you worship Satan, and for bar mitzvahs, to say you'd like roast pork as your menu choice.
TheVolturi · 12/03/2022 08:54

The thread title alone is something only a wanker would write.

Mulberry974 · 12/03/2022 08:57

@PiperPosey

OK...I've thought about it...

If you are 100% positive that you are absolutely in love with him. You would marry him tomorrow..then tell him.

If you don't feel the aforementioned then I would say don't.
Nothing hurts more than unrequited love.

Nope. Do you know what hurts more? Being dumped by your fiance because some selfish person decided she was 'in love'
Baaaa · 12/03/2022 08:59

You can just decline the invite. Come on. Time to grow up

TheirTheyre · 12/03/2022 09:02

Nope. Don’t tell him. You missed your many chances. Suck it up and move on.

Thatswhyimacat · 12/03/2022 09:03

'You had so many chances' sounds to me like you don't have any more...ie he is over you and has moved on.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 12/03/2022 09:10

So you casually saw him on / off for ten years ? He’s not into you. He’s engaged to a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Preserve your dignity! He wasn’t into you so no happy ever after for you two .

LittleBearPad · 12/03/2022 09:12

So you want what you can’t have.

Grow up.

If nothing came of it in the last 10 years it was never going to

PearlclutchersInc · 12/03/2022 09:15

Should i break up their engagement

What are you like - the sheer arrogance. You sound incredibly dog in the manger.

foxlover47 · 12/03/2022 09:18

Noooo
You and him have been casual friends with benefits for all this time ,
Now he's met someone he wants to commit properly too
Leave them be

Begrateful · 12/03/2022 09:23

Think it's pretty pointless telling him now.
What would you aim to achieve anyway by doing this now, when nothing was said during the 10 years prior?

GoogleWhacked · 12/03/2022 09:28

This is a classic case of wanting what you can't have. It's a shitty thing to do, don't do it.

Moyny · 12/03/2022 09:31

I think you should invite him and his tuneless fiancée to karaoke, try to make it look like her dad got him fired from his job, have a huge cat fight in a stadium toilet, and if all else fails, invite your gay friend round to make him jealous and break into Dionne Warwick songs in restaurants.

You have to have Big Hair to carry this off.

Gowithme · 12/03/2022 09:34

What you should do is tell him that you won't be coming to the wedding but you wish him well and that it's time for you both to move of from this now. You won't though will you because you crave the attention and the drama.

lemongreentea · 12/03/2022 09:35

@Moyny

I think you should invite him and his tuneless fiancée to karaoke, try to make it look like her dad got him fired from his job, have a huge cat fight in a stadium toilet, and if all else fails, invite your gay friend round to make him jealous and break into Dionne Warwick songs in restaurants.

You have to have Big Hair to carry this off.

do this OP!

or wear a white dress to his wedding and scream out 'IT SHOULD OF BEEN ME' when the priest guy asks if anyone has objections to speak up...

FinallyFluid · 12/03/2022 09:45

GrinGrinGrin

DrSbaitso · 12/03/2022 09:47

@Moyny

I think you should invite him and his tuneless fiancée to karaoke, try to make it look like her dad got him fired from his job, have a huge cat fight in a stadium toilet, and if all else fails, invite your gay friend round to make him jealous and break into Dionne Warwick songs in restaurants.

You have to have Big Hair to carry this off.

And a massive mobile phone.
CBFA · 12/03/2022 09:56

No!!!! That would be so selfish and destructive. You can't have your cake in a halfhearted way for years and then one day decide to eat it when someone else fancies it too

HelgaGPataki · 12/03/2022 10:19

@TheVolturi

The thread title alone is something only a wanker would write.
Perfectly summed up. As if you think you actually could break it up. Grin
Ludo19 · 12/03/2022 10:20

I only came on here to read the responses to the OP and I wish I knew some of you in real life. Absolutely hilarious. Thanks for cheering me up.

Oh and OP I do agree with the general consensus that's you're a tad delusional grow up and move on.

inheritancetrack · 12/03/2022 10:54

If it was you he had wanted he would have said. He didn't but did to someone he really wanted. An arsehole comment to you, but the ships sailed

Original poster
Butterfly3105 · 12/03/2022 11:08

@Ludo19

I only came on here to read the responses to the OP and I wish I knew some of you in real life. Absolutely hilarious. Thanks for cheering me up.

Oh and OP I do agree with the general consensus that's you're a tad delusional grow up and move on.

To be honest I only wrote the tag line like that to catch people's attention to get advice, maybe not such a good idea now!

I just wanna tell him how I feel and see what happens I don't see how's that's so bad, it'll probably end up with him having a big ego and getting married anyways

OP posts:
Brefugee · 12/03/2022 11:11

Yeah that's what I wanna do just tell him so he knows how much a I care/ cared about him. I doubt it'll break up his engagement but it might stop me being invited to the wedding which I am

just stay away from him. You want what you can't have like a flipping child.

YouJustDontKnow · 12/03/2022 11:12

No

Have some self respect and walk away. You had changed it’s true and what you only want him now because someone else is involved. That’s entitled and bitchy behaviour
Have a good think about your morals

YouJustDontKnow · 12/03/2022 11:12

Changed-chances

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