Bus driver accused DH of hitting our autistic son

[ASDfamily2]

I've just received a call from an upset DH who had taken our son (4 with autism) and daughter out with him.

He was sheltering in a bus stop as it started raining, DS was in his pram (he's not safe to walk) and was having an enormous meltdown because he didn't want the rain cover on.

The pram hood was pulled down and DS was pushing himself up inside the pram screaming like a banshee, so he was partially out of sight and his face couldn't be seen by this bus driver who had pulled up at the stop to collect waiting passengers.

He opened his cab door and asked DH, loudly, why he was hitting his son.

Fortunately for DH there was a lady sitting right next to him on the bench who could see everything that was going on up close, she immediately jumped to his defence and said he hasn't hit him at all. He didn't touch him. God knows why the driver jumped to that conclusion.

DH got understandably annoyed and said to the bus driver that DS is severely autistic and he's having a damn meltdown, not being hit, he has never hit him in his life.

DH chose to abort the trip and is now on his way home feeling hurt and angry.

I've never been accused of hitting DS in public but I have received many, many judgemental looks from people and shitty comments when DS had been throwing himself on the floor (hence the pram) or when I've had to hold him still to stop him throwing himself on the floor.

If it wasn't for that lady at the bus stop I dread to think what would have happened. What if the driver phoned the police? We could have lost our children.

I want to make a formal complaint but DH didn't note the reg.

If that's what a random bus driver thinks then god only knows what the neighbours think, with the amount of meltdowns DS has and how he sounds when he does.

I'm so sad and fed up that this is our life

@mnetting

Anybody who misinterprets an autistic meltdown for a child being abused needs to educate themselves on neurodiversity frankly. Absolutely but they won't they just expect ND people to find coping strategies to minimise the effects of their their differences on society and expect them find ways to be like them.

Neurodiverse people should be accepted for who they are instead of being forced to behave in a way that isn't normal or possible for them because it's normal for neurotypicals so it's right.
And no ND or people with ND children should not have to explain themselves to ignorant people who don't understand.

Neuro diversity comes in many different forms ,my sin us nearly 12 and non verbal ,I would say it' would be fairly apparent to most strangers that he has disabilities due to his extreme behaviour ,when he was 3 or 4 however not so much ,peuople on here are told all the time that safe guarding is everyone,s issue so the bus driver saw what he thought was a man hitting his small child ,how in earth would he know the child was autistic? The vast majority of people only have a very tenuous grasp of autism all its different presentation,s The bus driver was right in my opinion to challenge Someone he thought was abusing a small child .