for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

How about something like this 3 bed semi in kingston OP, patio garden, done up and lovely area to live with a baby and small kids. You can afford something in south west London that’s way more suitable.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/116065847#/?channel=RES_BUY

I remember hearing once that the aim is to move as few times as possible when it comes to house buying so with that in mind, I would think about your ultimate goal and where you hope to live ultimately. I know it may not be what you want right now, but I would seriously look further out where you money will stretch further and you can buy somewhere with more space and a garden.

Keep looking.
We couldn't have coped without a tiny bit of outdoor space. And stairs, with a pram , is so very difficult.

Downstairs and a garden. As PPs have pointed out, a flight of stairs is rubbish with a baby and small DCs. And a garden is a godsend, even when they're babies, you can sit out, put them on a picnic blanket, etc.

People saying neither flat is suitable

We live in a 2 bed flat with our 1 year old - no garden in London in the basement

It’s totally fine

I go out to the parks there’s loads within walking distance.

I’ve honestly never missed having a garden

Also the stairs has never bothered me either I got yoyo buggy and can easily lift it up the steps when needed if the baby was asleep when I got home

If we have another child they can share the bedroom!

I’d chose a smaller place every time over leaving London tbh

We had a garden (like everyone else around us) growing up but we never played there. There was an open space between all the buildings where all the kids played. So yo me a garden is not important If there are other outdoor spaces available. I do think 20min walk is a long time to get to a park if that's the only play area.

It’s not just the lack of garden - I live in London and lots of people live in flats with no garden. But I think the garden flat is probably too small long term, ideally, though doable. I think flat 2 is much better. The stairs will be a pain, though. If it was flat 2 on the ground floor but no garden, that would be ok.

But the 5 bed detached house wouldn’t be near the OPs family or her DPs job

Neither of those are showstoppers, lots of people don't live near their parents and lots of people move around the country following work opportunities.

Tbh I think neither appear suitable for family life and for me outside space is essential.

Coming from someone who has children and lives in a flat with no garden. Take the garden!!

OP one of the benefits of shift working is avoiding rush hour traffic, so I wouldn't be limiting your options for that reason. If anything it gives you scope to live further away and afford a better home for you all

Kids need a garden if you can afford one

In England, you only use your garden for a few months of the year anyway

My grandchildren live in a much colder part of the UK than London and are out in the garden far more than that. Not all day of course if the weather's not great but that's the advantage of a garden. They can pop in and out and Mum or Dad keep an eye on them from the kitchen. It's far better for them than being inside most of the time.

@JaninaDuszejko

But the 5 bed detached house wouldn’t be near the OPs family or her DPs job

Neither of those are showstoppers, lots of people don't live near their parents and lots of people move around the country following work opportunities.

But they wouldn’t be moving round the country following job opportunities they’d be moving following property opportunities with jobs back in London.

I’d get the smaller flat, transform the garden and sell it when your second child is about 3.

I had little kids in London and we did have small and uninspiring garden which we barely used, but we lived across the road from a great park where all friends from school would stop at on their way home from school and we’d always meet someone we knew if we went on a weekend. That was worth everything to me. It was only a 1-2 minute walk away so we could quickly be back home if anyone needed a wee, scraped their knee or suddenly became starving. I don’t think I would have liked a 20 minute walk to the park.

@RocketPanda

I'd go with the downstairs with garden. If you plan to have more children then lugging everything up and down a flight of stairs gets really old really quickly.

This. All those trips upstairs with the buggy, the shopping, toddlers - I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

Also my child couldn't be a child without a garden.

I mean get a grip on yourself. You do realise that there are millions of children being raised in flats in this country, let alone the rest of the world? And I'm sure they manage to 'be children' just fine.

Always downstairs to avoid problems getting out of the house, and preferably with outdoor space for all the reasons which have come up before. And if you have an upstairs flat with toddlers, it’s a recipe for poor relations with your downstairs neighbours.

I'm a city center flat dweller with an almost pathological hatred of the suburbs (NYC, not London) and I think neither sound ideal. I'd go for ground floor though, just because schlepping all your stuff up and down even one flight of stairs is a total pain. 20 minutes is a long way from a park.

I have a garden flat now and it's great - DS is a toddler and can play outside for ages with his water table. I also have a little container garden out there and grew my own veg and herbs last summer. We were even out the BBQing at the weekend and had an over-the-fence NYE party with our neighbors this year.

It’s hard to know now how you’ll feel once you have kids

We lived in a 2 bed flat in a city centre, no garden but some parks and playgrounds within walking distance

To be honest, it was hard, as every outing had to be planned. When my boys were 6 and 4 we moved to a 2 bed house with a small garden, in a village, and it was such a difference!

But J only could appreciate it after years in a flat. In a heatwave, snow days, during a pandemic… that outside space is precious

But once they are teens you can move back to that urban flat

A garden isn't 'essential' ...but cannot imagine bringing my 3 up without one....we spent so much time out there when the kids were small...without a garden there would have been no trampoline....no rabbit....no guinea pig....no dog....no garden shed made into a den.....no veggie plots....no sunflower competitions for the kids....no sitting on the patio when the kids were in bed enjoying a drink and the last of the sun.....no where to line dry your washing.....I could go on and on....but you get the picture....I LOVE my garden

...and the fire pit? You need somewhere for the fire pit ...to toast those marshmallows

We’re in an upper floor maisonette in south London, no garden. DS is 5.

I’d go with flat 2, because inside space is probably the most important. Nothing worse than being cooped up in a small flat in the rain. We used a sling more than our buggy (and used it for longer than average - DS was still in it intermittently when he was 3). We had a single-hand fold buggy (Babyjogger CityMini).

We go out to the park, swimming, or something outdoorsy, every day come what May. And we live somewhere with a wide variety of parks and soft plays. We also made sure we picked a nursery with a really lovely garden and a Northern European forest school “no bad weather only bad clothing” attitude, so DS was outside more than he was inside during the daytime.

It’s a pain with no garde n but as you want more children and can’t move easily for a while I’d go with the bigger flat