for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

@Stompythedinosaur I don’t mean there is no culture I live in the north too! I just mean it’s not nice to be critical of peoples decisions to live in london- there is a reason it’s more expensive. It’s all very well saying our house is £100k but if its in a small town where the OP has no family and there’s limited job opportunities it doesn’t help. The cultural hotspots in the north- Liverpool, Manchester etc are more expensive.

I feel your pain OP, we're trying to buy a three bed with a garden and there's barely anything. If the previous posters saying there are 'fixer uppers' in zone 4 for that have any links, I would be very grateful because I've only seen places which would cost at least £100K to fix up to a liveable standard, and if we had £100K we'd buy a more expensive house!

I personally wouldn't be able to live anywhere without a garden, even if it were fairly tiny. I also think everyone else is 100% right about buggy + stairs being a nightmare.

In your shoes I would buy the downstairs flat, plan to have two kids there but work on the basis you're going to have to move again in the next 5-7 years, and hope that it goes up in value enough to offset the financial pain of that.

children dont need a garden, as long as there is a park near by.

@bruce43mydog

children dont need a garden, as long as there is a park near by.

You can't hang your washing in the park though. And until your children are old enough to go to the park unsupervised it will take up more of your time supervising them while they are outside.

No it’s not essential but very little is. It is highly desirable though.
Having a garden means you can easily have days where you don’t need to leave your home especially in the spring / summer - children chalking on the paving stones, playing with water pistols, playing with sand etc.

You can't hang your washing in the park though. And until your children are old enough to go to the park unsupervised it will take up more of your time supervising them while they are outside. Yes I agree that a park isn’t really in the same league.
Going to the park ends up being such a mission - make your way there (even if close by this can be difficult if toddler doesn’t want to go in the pram and insists on walking etc), take stuff with you (nappies? water bottles etc), usually one child doesn’t want to go and one does.. having to keep an eye on multiple children at the same time is difficult, tantrums when it’s time to go home …
I don’t personally find it that enjoyable most of the time. Garden on the other hand is great - keep the door open in the summer and the DC are free to go in and out as they want, you can join in for the nice parts but don’t need to watch every single second, you can make yourself a cup of tea when you fancy it etc.

@bruce43mydog

children dont need a garden, as long as there is a park near by.

When they are young they can't go the park on their own. They can however play in the garden while mum keeps an eye on them while loading the dishwasher etc.

@Strawmite I wasn't aimlessly criticising. I was explaining that my opinion comes from the point of view of what is available here. Like lots of parks and gardens.

OP, maybe you could consider this house. It's close to 3 parks (2 have good play equipment and the other has a nice forest), some basic shops within a short walk and good bus links to Morden, Wimbledon and Epsom.
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/120324302#/?channel=RES_BUY

Or this one that's near a good park, a station and a parade of shops
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119706230#/?channel=RES_BUY

Both have decent kerb appeal.

@Kpo58

OP, maybe you could consider this house. It's close to 3 parks (2 have good play equipment and the other has a nice forest), some basic shops within a short walk and good bus links to Morden, Wimbledon and Epsom. www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/120324302#/?channel=RES_BUY

Or this one that's near a good park, a station and a parade of shops
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119706230#/?channel=RES_BUY

Both have decent kerb appeal.

2nd house has a bigger 3bedroom and downstairs loo

Plus more parking space out front

Nicer then 1st link which sneakily doesn’t Showa pic of third bedroo. Which is tiny. Smaller then our third and that’s small IMO

@Kpo58

OP, maybe you could consider this house. It's close to 3 parks (2 have good play equipment and the other has a nice forest), some basic shops within a short walk and good bus links to Morden, Wimbledon and Epsom. www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/120324302#/?channel=RES_BUY

Or this one that's near a good park, a station and a parade of shops
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119706230#/?channel=RES_BUY

Both have decent kerb appeal.

What the 1st one neglects to mention is that Lower Morden Lane is famous for its Christmas lights!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=bMq1jWZ6JfU

Honestly I don't think either are right and that's from someone with lived experience. We ultimately moved to a house.

Stairs with infants, prams and shopping is horrendously difficult. Having a small garden space with little ones is honestly so good for your mental health. During covid we've really seen that even this home isn't the right fit. A flat garden children can toddle around, that you can use to sit outside with a cuppa while they play, and where they can play in a paddling pool, sand box etc is such a relief when dc are little.

If you knew you'd be moving in 3 years, maybe the options you've found are doable. But considering you want 2-3 children and don't plan to move for 10 years, two things you should really prioritise are a 3rd bedroom and garden space.

Good luck!

Garden every time! Nothing better than washing the dishes watching the kids running wild and not having to chase them about

We use ours most days for allsorts of different things!

If you want 2/3 kids and don't want to move again but something that meets your needs. I have 2 kids on London. We just upsized from 2 bed in SW4 (flat) to a house in Streatham.

One child in a flat is fine. But 2 is difficult. We had a big 2 bed ex local flat with a garden and balcony on a beautiful street 5 mins from Clapham Common. We had a pram store down the stairs too. But it go awfully small very quickly. The washing was always hanging everywhere. The place was constantly filthy and needing cleaned.

I loved living in that area but the lack of space will drive you mad. We moved 20 mins south and have a grown up house in a nice area with good schools. I can't tell you how much easier it is, plus I'm so close to my old area I still feel part of it.

We looked at loads of properties. Typical London marionettes are great but are small and don't underestimate the amount of rubbish and clutter kids bring. You have £550k. You can definitely get something better than you describe for that if you open your mind on area a bit (I can still walk to my old area so I'm not talking moving to back if beyond). Honestly, you won't regret it.

If you do want a flat go for an upstairs one with a garden and potential for a loft conversion (freehold ideally). This way you can buy something with some room for growth. I'd highly recommend the garden too- if only to dry the washing.

Flat 1 downstairs.

Just read your other posts! You could live 20 mins further out and have a house that would suit your needs with a garden etc.

Given the location I'd have neither of those two flats and choose to live in a family home.

@thewhatsit

You can't hang your washing in the park though. And until your children are old enough to go to the park unsupervised it will take up more of your time supervising them while they are outside. Yes I agree that a park isn’t really in the same league. Going to the park ends up being such a mission - make your way there (even if close by this can be difficult if toddler doesn’t want to go in the pram and insists on walking etc), take stuff with you (nappies? water bottles etc), usually one child doesn’t want to go and one does.. having to keep an eye on multiple children at the same time is difficult, tantrums when it’s time to go home … I don’t personally find it that enjoyable most of the time. Garden on the other hand is great - keep the door open in the summer and the DC are free to go in and out as they want, you can join in for the nice parts but don’t need to watch every single second, you can make yourself a cup of tea when you fancy it etc.

Definitely, having to drag a reticent tired kid out is always the worst part for me. With a 20 minute (minimum) walk home afterwards that would be awful.

I can just about understand the argument for choosing a flat right near a big park, like within a couple of minutes. Especially now it's clear there aren't going to be any more lockdowns in the near future. It wouldn't be my call in OPs position, but I can see the rationale. But a flat 20 minutes walk away, call it 40 with a tired toddler who doesn't want to cooperate? Hell no!