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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

342 replies

whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 19:31

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

OP posts:
kitcat15 · 10/03/2022 21:02

@Fupoffyagrasshole

People saying neither flat is suitable

We live in a 2 bed flat with our 1 year old - no garden in London in the basement

It’s totally fine

I go out to the parks there’s loads within walking distance.

I’ve honestly never missed having a garden

Also the stairs has never bothered me either I got yoyo buggy and can easily lift it up the steps when needed if the baby was asleep when I got home

If we have another child they can share the bedroom!

I’d chose a smaller place every time over leaving London tbh

I guess you don't miss what you've never had
TheSunWillComeOut2moro · 10/03/2022 21:03

Move to the North, even with the silly price hike you'd get a large 5 bed detached with a large garden for that, in fact you could shave 150k off your budget and still get a huge 4 bed. As you obviously wont go north, flat 1 for the outside space and easy access, but I highly doubt you could manage with 2 children in such a small space.

ThirdElephant · 10/03/2022 21:03

Definitely ground floor with garden. Plan to move in a few years.

Oriunda · 10/03/2022 21:03

Whereabouts in London? It’s a huge city! £500k is a lot for a flat. In my area of very leafy, excellent schools Zone 4 London (but on central line) £600k would get you a small house with garden.

Rinatinabina · 10/03/2022 21:07

We went through lockdown in a big apartment, its 3500 sq feet with 1 toddler. A garden with a smaller apartment would have been better,

But best option is to move out and get a house.

user1493494961 · 10/03/2022 21:07

Bigger flat.

Felicity42 · 10/03/2022 21:08

People might suggest areas if you give an idea of where you need to be located.

ittakes2 · 10/03/2022 21:10

It completely depends on the personality of your child/children. My daughter never puts a foot in the garden and would value more internal space. My son prefers to be outside

Doyoumind · 10/03/2022 21:11

Getting to an upstairs flat with a baby/small child isn't good. I've done it. Also lived without and with a garden with small DC. I would always go for a garden. Even just having somewhere to dry washing can be a godsend.

MadKittenWoman · 10/03/2022 21:12

Garden every time.

NightOwl6 · 10/03/2022 21:13

Our first place was a first floor flat, it was difficult with one baby/toddler (we moved when he was 2). The lugging shopping/his trike/pushchair up and down the stairs was a nightmare. When he got bigger and became more active, it was difficult to not have any outdoor space and also washing was dried around the house or put into the tumble drier. We eventually moved into a house with a garden and it made such a difference. Option 1 is your best option for now.

Heronwatcher · 10/03/2022 21:13

Garden essential, definitely. Otherwise whenever you see the sun you’ll end up schlepping to the park which is a massive PITA. In London a garden, however small, is a godsend and you can do brilliant things with even small gardens for young kids (outdoor kitchen/ climbing wall/ mini trampoline). Nothing better than letting a child mill in and out on a sunny morning.

Rinatinabina · 10/03/2022 21:14

If you are ill or need to do dinner chucking the kids into the garden for half an hour will really help. As pp pointed out, even if there are parks close by you still have to pack all your shit to go there. Toddlers need a lot of exercise, I now have a slide in my apartment. I also have a baby yoyo and love it but its a PITA to collapse with one arm for me. A garden wouldn’t replace parks but would help.

Hollowtree3 · 10/03/2022 21:17

Garden. You will not regret it. However small they can grow things and dig and it is there patch with their outdoor toys, and being outdoors is just calming fit kids and adults.

Beautiful3 · 10/03/2022 21:18

I'd get a ground floor flat with a garden.

Forumqueen · 10/03/2022 21:19

They both aren’t very ideal for a growing family. I would seriously consider moving into zone five you could get a lovely detached house - 4 bedrooms with plenty of garden space.

SoftSheen · 10/03/2022 21:21

Get a garden if you possibly can, even a very small one makes a big difference with young children.

BenchBench · 10/03/2022 21:22

When you say small garden, what are the exact measurements? Is there a picture you can share from the listing? Does it matter to you if it gets any sun etc or is overlooked? Does it have a gate/is it secure?

LowlandLucky · 10/03/2022 21:23

Garden flat all the way. A park 20 minutes away is no use if your toddler needs to run around like a lunatic while you are on an important phone call, trying to cook or soothe baby number 2. Just think of all the extra washing you will have for the next decade, where do you intend to dry it without a garden ?

MsChatterbox · 10/03/2022 21:23

Honestly the amount of times I've said to my husband I'm so grateful we have a garden is ridiculous. They use it every day. It's great when they're getting crazy but I don't have time/energy to go somewhere.

AnnaSW1 · 10/03/2022 21:23

Get one with a garden

PeachesVonBeach · 10/03/2022 21:24

Lugging pram upstairs = deal breaker. Especially if you decide to have more babies.

Flat without garden, meh. It's not the end of the world. You'll get out, do interesting things and probs find a new mummy bf with a garden. Take wine. You'll always be popular and it will end up being much cheaper than maintaining your own garden 😉

Blinkingbatshit · 10/03/2022 21:24

A postage stamp garden is pointless - go for the 3 bed. When we lived in London our house has a tiny garden - didn’t get used most of the year and then when the weather was good you couldn’t exactly cycle or play football in it. You will be grateful of the extra space year round!

PeachesVonBeach · 10/03/2022 21:25

Also, for all those saying where will you dry your laundry. You can use the money you'd spend on garden tat garden furniture, toys and actual maintenance on a laundry service.

Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 21:25

We’re focusing on Wimbledon for the area and schools. Husband works in a South London hospital which will be one bus journey away. My parents are in Notting Hill and husband’s parents are in Esher - especially important to be as close as possible to them as they are very keen to help with childcare and I would plan to drop baby/toddler off on the way to work. So not too early to make sure baby gets enough of a rest before being woken up and dropped off to grandparents.

OP posts: