Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

342 replies

whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 19:31

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 19:33

We have no pets and plan hopefully to have 2-3 children. I imagine this will be our only move for a decade or so as we cannot possibly afford to move again.

OP posts:
RocketPanda · 10/03/2022 19:43

I'd go with the downstairs with garden. If you plan to have more children then lugging everything up and down a flight of stairs gets really old really quickly.

Tidlo · 10/03/2022 19:43

YABU

SeasonFinale · 10/03/2022 19:45

3 bed

Moancup · 10/03/2022 19:47

I can’t see either being flats you’d want to live in when you have 2-3 children of school age. So if you’re set on a flat, I’d prioritise a flat that works for now and has the best chance of rising in value to support your next move.

curlii103 · 10/03/2022 19:51

On the basis its not an amazing garden id get the bigger flat. You spend more time in yoyr house than in the garden

SarahWoodruff · 10/03/2022 19:51

A small garden can still be a godsend, particularly if parks and playgrounds are not round the corner. 20 minutes' walk at adult speed translates into an eternity with a 3 year old. You could have a sand and water table and a mud kitchen, and your kids would be entertained for quite long periods (at least until they're old enough for the 20 mins walk to be no issue).

BankingOnChange · 10/03/2022 19:52

Well no, technically a garden isn't essential. However it would be an absolute deal breaker for me. We have 3 dc and a mid sized garden and I can't imagine not having that space.

The dc having space to kick a ball around, bounce on a trampoline, sit in a paddling pool, enjoy a BBQ makes a huge difference and I'd rather give up one of our bedrooms than that tbh.

DisforDarkChocolate · 10/03/2022 19:52

Flat 1 every time.

Spaghag · 10/03/2022 19:53

It's not just the garden, it's the trying to get your pram up a flight of stairs without waking the baby who's just fallen asleep for the first time in hours plus your shopping....

A private garden with direct access is priceless, not so much for a baby but for a 3, 4, 5 year old. They can run in & out as much as they like in safety.

We lived in a lovely flat but moved when DS1 was about 2 for a house in a less nice area but with its own garden.

SheWoreYellow · 10/03/2022 19:54

I agree that a small garden is a life saver when they are toddlers.

But I don’t think 2-3 children in a two bedroom flat is a great long term plan either. Not three anyway.

Is there nothing in between?

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 10/03/2022 19:55

Couldn’t live without my garden, especially when my kids were younger!

teenagetantrums · 10/03/2022 19:55

I bought my kids up in a 3rd floor flat. You have to be be more organised. Take them to the park with a picnic in nice weather, lots of days out. To be honest we spent lots of time at my friend's houses with gardens in the summer. It's definitely doable. Just a pain when they are older and you have to carry bikes up and downstairs. If you determined to have one of the flats l would take the bigger one. Space inside is better than a tiny stone filled garden

RandomQuest · 10/03/2022 19:55

We live in London too but have a small patio garden, too small to really play in, although the kids do some colouring with sidewalk chalk occasionally and we squeeze in a water table for summer. I definitely don’t think you need a garden, we’ve never had a proper one, and genuinely don’t miss it but 20 minutes walk from a park would be way too far for me. And 20 minutes at your walking speed is likely 30+ minutes at toddler speed. We’re so happy with our set up because we have green spaces and playgrounds very close by.

Tidlo · 10/03/2022 19:56

Just move further out in London. For £600k you could still get a 3 bed do-er upper house with 60 foot in zone 4 south east London. Further out zone 5-6 get the same and only redecoration needed. You are being very naive about what is to come.

CottonSock · 10/03/2022 19:57

The garden and stairs are both biggies with babies and kids.

BulletTrain · 10/03/2022 19:57

Garden, mainly for drying endless loads of kids clothes outside!

RandomMess · 10/03/2022 19:57

Find a different flat nearer to a park/playground.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 10/03/2022 19:57

I dont think either of those flats sound ideal tbh but i cant imagine being without our garden, my 3 are out there all the time in all weathers.

jmh740 · 10/03/2022 19:57

Flat 1 you can't underestimate how difficult it will be getting up and down steps with a pram, 20 min walk with a toddler will be about double that, to me outside space is important, if you have more than one child they can share a bedroom.

RandomMess · 10/03/2022 19:58

I'm also thinking about an upstairs flat with DC in a heatwave as well as carrying pram up and downstairs. Best avoided if possible!!

Sunshinedreaming2022 · 10/03/2022 19:58

Flat 1. Downstairs with a garden would be the winner. You don’t need a third bedroom any time soon.

Although you could also buy a large 5 bed detached house and just commute to London? Is there a reason you have to stay?

sqirrelfriends · 10/03/2022 19:58

A garden is essential imo, even a small one.

Also do you want to lug stuff up a flight of stairs with a baby in tow? Not awful, but inconvenient.

Franca123 · 10/03/2022 19:58

Having seen friends get trapped in a small two bedroom flat London, neither. They over paid for a leasehold and had two kids and couldn't sell. Hellish. Take the inevitable plunge and go straight to the 3 bed house in a different area now.

Lightbulbbb · 10/03/2022 19:59

In England, you only use your garden for a few months of the year anyway. I’m not especially bothered about a garden in London. But the local park is literally over the road from where I live.

Can you choose a gardenless flat closer to a park?

Swipe left for the next trending thread