for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

You could easily find a 3 bed small house with garden for £500k in many areas on London. I think neither of them are ideal options for the amount of money you have available

Your DH is being very silly. I’d like to live in Wimbledon too but we can’t afford a house big enough for our 2 children so we don’t - simple. There are way more reasonable areas with brilliant schools much closer to your childcare in Esher. Getting to Notting Hill in half hour vs an hour doesn’t really make that much difference when you have children you would probably need to drop off at other grandparents to go and assist anyway!

I used to hate his Americanisms but now I speak and type like him too unfortunately. You know what I mean though??

After reading all of your posts I think that I do. There's an awful lot about what your DH simply must have. I hope you are in there somewhere too.

Definitely garden unless you want to move again a few years

How have I caused slight offence with just one word?
Not offence, but kerb and curb have different meanings and curb appeal looks weird

I would go with Flat 1. Apart from avoiding the need to carry a pushchair upstairs, there is lots you can do with a small courtyard garden (eg paddling pool, sand pit) that would make life a lot easier with children. There are lots of ideas out there about how to make the most of small gardens.

I can really empathise that if your husband works shifts in the NHS, you want to minimise the journey time for him and still be able to get to your parents. I don't really understand the 'no terraced' rule but as I've just read a thread in which the OP's partner was objecting because the house she was proposing to buy had no room for horses and a house that did would be beyond their budget, then it puts that preference into context. I see a lot of posters suggest moving out of the area but Wimbledon has great transport links which is one of the reasons why it's expensive. Kingston is lovely but it would be a dreary journey to Notting Hill. The roads are busy and the trains are far less frequent than the tube.

I lived in a flat without outdoor space when my eldest children were 3 and 5yo. We were 10min walk from nearest park and 20min walk from a nicer park, river etc.

I would not recommend it. In the summer you will find it difficult without the option of just opening the door and being able to let them play. The walk to the park was so hot midsummer. No option for paddling pools and water play. The flat was boiling and had poor air flow.

If you decide on a flat without a garden then choose somewhere with a much nearer outdoor space to play. It is also difficult if you want to get on with house jobs and it's gorgeous out and the children want to go and play. You have to take them everywhere for fresh air.

Personally I wouldn't choose to live without a garden with young children. Your life changes so much when you have children that it may seem easy in your head right now but reality will be different.

Flat 1 for 2 reasons
Just a little bit of safe outside space can be an absolute god send
Secondly - no stairs to lug shopping, pram/pushchair etc out is a huge winner with a young family.

Flat 2 would be better with older kids

So lived right by South Park Gardens for years. So lovely lots of classes going on, mother and baby groups etc. Easy walk to either Colliers Wood or Wimbledon.
No problem with Hayden’s road area, frequent visitors of The Garden Shed Pub on Hayden’s road which was great.
Go and look for yourself and see what works.

We had a large flat with a toddler and it was fine. We now have a small garden which I love (because I love gardening) but if I am honest I am not sure it makes much difference to the DC. I would say 20 mins is a long way to a park, I would look for somewhere closer to a park.

If you want three kids then you can't take the two bed house. Solved.

@SarahWoodruff

A small garden can still be a godsend, particularly if parks and playgrounds are not round the corner. 20 minutes' walk at adult speed translates into an eternity with a 3 year old. You could have a sand and water table and a mud kitchen, and your kids would be entertained for quite long periods (at least until they're old enough for the 20 mins walk to be no issue).

This a million times over. Very young children are exhausting. Parents are sometimes knackered. Having a mud kitchen/paddling pool/sand table/tiny slide and somewhere to potter will just be a massive relief. It's really nice not to have to walk to a park with all your crap and then have to take someone to the loo or return home. This will make your life easier.

Plan D would be to rethink your search area

Two bedrooms, huge communal garden and Clapham Common at one end of the road and Wandsworth Common at the other. Easy commute on Northern Line or train from Clapham Junction
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119091023#/?channel=RES_BUY

Three beds, decent sized garden close to Clapham Common and 2 nice parks (one we used to drive to when our DC were small it was so nice) - easy commute on Northern Line and train from Clapham High Street

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/84032016#/?channel=RES_BUY

Small but it is a house in a nice area and close to Balham Station for the train and tube and Tooting Common is on your doorstep.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/120255176#/?channel=RES_BUY

I had no garden and had to lug things up in lifts and up stairs when the lift broke. It was hard going. There's nothing like just being able to open your back door and bring a coffee or bring someone to the loo.

Neither of those flats are right for you OP. I’d think you’d need atleast a 3 bed, even if you have 2 children, what if you had one boy and one girl? You said no moves for atleast a decade? Some girls start their periods at 7/8, don’t think she’d want to be sharing with her brother.

There is so much stuff that comes with children that you’ll need the space and defo no lugging stuff upstairs. I’d say keep looking, still got plenty of time 😁

Flat 2. The weather is so crap in this country what would anyone need a garden for? Although I would buy somewhere with parks that are closer.

Brought up my only DD in a first floor flat. But we have a lot of green space nearby, two parks, a wood and lots of playing fields. Only thing was, I had to made conscious decisions to take her out, rather than just have a little space out the back. Also, we didn't have all the things I had as a child, like a paddling pool, or a sandpit. We can't afford anything bigger on a mortgage. There are other families in my block too.

We live in a flat with no garden in central London with a 3yo, and it's been fine although it would definitely be nicer to have some private outside space. We have some communal outdoor space where we've been allowed to use garden toys like a Little Tikes playhouse and ride-on car, but DD needs to be supervised as we're on the third floor and access to the space is outside the building and in another entrance down the street. We're lucky that we can afford to move to a house later this year, and it will be lovely to have our own play equipment, paddling pool, trampoline etc.

But at the moment living without a garden means that we get out more - I don't understand the comments about having to get ready to go out to the park, that's just something we do every day. I think even if we had a garden we'd prefer to go to the playground as the play equipment is bigger and there are other kids there, and I'd get cabin fever just staying home and only going out to the garden all day. A 20 min walk is quite far for a toddler but you'd probably be pushing them in a buggy or jump on a bus for that distance. There may well be other small playgrounds and gardens closer - there are loads within a 10 min walk to us, although the nearest proper park is about 12 min walk away. In bad weather (the past few months) we don't spend 20 mins walking to a park, we get on the tube and spend the day at a big soft play or museum where DD has loads of space to run around.

We're in a 3rd floor modern flat with a lift, and having to deal with stairs would be really frustrating as DD still naps in her pushchair, so we push her around the block until she falls asleep and then bring her up in the lift so she can continue napping at home. Being in a flat with stairs but no lift would mean that's not possible.

To be honest, as a London parent, I would say the most important consideration for a flat/house purchase is the distance from a good school (if you're not planning to move again before school application deadlines). That means close enough to be well within the last cut-off distance in the past few years - just living within walking distance is not enough, and you need to check the information from the LA, not rely on estate agents or Rightmove. To me that's far more important than having a garden or stairs.

If you want 3 kids and don’t want to move for 10 years I’d say b, not least for the space/storage. Kids have loads of shit that take up so much space.

But you’ll be annoyed with the dragging under 5s upstairs for a while and the 20 min (more like 30) drag to the park and back.
I’d look further out if you can for something that ticks more boxes.

Having little kids in a flat with no garden is hell.
A garden saves my sanity!

I lived in a lovely flat with my toddler but really hated the inconvenience of having to carry everything up stairs and having no direct access to even a small garden. Also - you mention that you currently have horrible neighbours. This is a real risk in your next property so something to think about.

You want a Wimbledon property with Morden money.

Good luck with that.

@Aaaabbbcccc, drying washing, growing plants and vegetables, having a pet, getting some vitamin D, somewhere to put a paddling pool or trampoline or play on ride on toys or ball games, just somewhere to be when feeling cooped up inside the flat...

There’s these public spaces you can access called parks. Even better you don’t need to do the gardening on them or maintenance or fix fences etc. No weeding. No storing gardening shite somewhere.

Your child would manage without one and you can access so much!

I’d rather have a comfier more spacious home for a growing family than worry about the cold, wet space outside that will only be used 6 weeks of the year.

I lived in a first floor flat for 5 years with 3 kids! It is hard Work lifting up the kids, the pram, the shopping etc.

I Would 100% choose the smaller properly on the Ground floor. Also a garden is amazing especially when the kids are old enough to play alone.