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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

342 replies

whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 19:31

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 10/03/2022 22:09

Neither, compromise on location and kerb appeal.

saraclara · 10/03/2022 22:11

@whatsay11

Thanks for the links! The other problem is that my husband is very keen on one very specific area of Wimbledon, it cannot be terraced and curb appeal is very important to him. It has limited us quite a bit to be fair. I’ve seen houses in the general area for our budget but most have been vetoed for one reason or another.

Honestly the replies here have been so eye opening (thank you). Things I really hadn’t thought of, life with 1-3 toddlers in particular. I think I’ll need to convince DH to look slightly further afield.

It sounds as though your DH is going to have to prioritise. Ruling out a terraced house, and bothering about kerb appeal is a bit silly if he wants a garden.

£600k 'beggars' really can't be as choosy as he seems to be. He might be very keen on one particular area, but there's hardly anything out there at the moment, and ruling out terraces and 'not pretty on the outside' places is a bit daft, I think.

TatianaBis · 10/03/2022 22:11

What about Southfields

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119234231 patio garden plus short walk to Wimbledon common

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/114540104 communal garden + short walk to King George’s park

Blossomtoes · 10/03/2022 22:14

@doyouwantachuffedybadge

half a million for a FLAT? A FLAT? WTH?
Oh give over. We all know that’s what flats cost in London
Changechangychange · 10/03/2022 22:14

@doyouwantachuffedybadge

half a million for a FLAT? A FLAT? WTH?
I mean, I feel the same when I look at the North and see three bedroom houses that cost less than most people’s cars, but I’m not rude enough to come into a thread about buying a house in Newcastle and say that?
Crikeyalmighty · 10/03/2022 22:15

Honestly I think the house I sent you in kingston is a really good option. As is new Malden, Worcester park etc. Fantastic for Esher too. I see why you are looking at Wimbledon if it’s st George’s— Colliers Wood or Tooting or new Malden — you will get a house — I think you are going to have to forget 30 mins from your parents AND be convenient for your partners job— sorry. Very few people in London have that luxury.

Realitydawning98 · 10/03/2022 22:15

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Woollystockings · 10/03/2022 22:16

I know you said Wimbledon, but have you considered Tooting or Earlsfield? Tooting Common and Wandsworth Common are nice, and Wandsworth Borough has the advantage of low council tax.

TatianaBis · 10/03/2022 22:16

@1910username

Both South Park Gardens and Dundonald Park are very nice and not dodgy at all.

Not much to do in South Pale Gardens though, Dundonald Park is much better for kids, even better than the common, I would say.

Yeah but houses around South Park Gdns are 1.3. Around Dundonald they’re what 850-950+? Down towards Merton or to the other side of Haydons road you can get small houses for 850,000 but that’s still over budget.
D0lphine · 10/03/2022 22:19

Do you have to be in London?

Nearly other part of the country could get you an amazing family home for £550,000

saraclara · 10/03/2022 22:21

@D0lphine

Do you have to be in London?

Nearly other part of the country could get you an amazing family home for £550,000

For goodness' sake... Have you even read the OP's posts?
Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 22:21

@Crikeyalmighty

Honestly I think the house I sent you in kingston is a really good option. As is new Malden, Worcester park etc. Fantastic for Esher too. I see why you are looking at Wimbledon if it’s st George’s— Colliers Wood or Tooting or new Malden — you will get a house — I think you are going to have to forget 30 mins from your parents AND be convenient for your partners job— sorry. Very few people in London have that luxury.
Yes I definitely agree, sorry for not replying. We haven’t looked at Kingston much at all. There is a reason, though I can’t remember well. Thanks for this, it’s OIEO £600 but I’ve saved it to my Rightmove.
OP posts:
Tdcp · 10/03/2022 22:22

I grew up in a tower block in London until I was 10 then we moved up north and had a small yard. I have a garden now as an adult with kids, pick the flat with a garden is my advice.

1910username · 10/03/2022 22:22

@TatianaBis, yes, I agree with you, I should be so lucky to live in South Park Gardens or near the Common for that matter!

I was just making the point that in terms of entertainment for kids, the play area in DunDonald Park is much better and loads of paths around to cycle too.

Mossstitch · 10/03/2022 22:23

Downstairs one but not because I think a garden is essential with kids. I moved for this once when I had a 1 and 3 Yr old thinking in my naivity that they would play out, they hardly used the garden only if we were out with them, velcro kids! However lugging a buggy, toddlers and shopping to an upstairs flat is a killer!! It would put you off taking them out to the park😉

Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 22:24

@Woollystockings

I know you said Wimbledon, but have you considered Tooting or Earlsfield? Tooting Common and Wandsworth Common are nice, and Wandsworth Borough has the advantage of low council tax.
We really aren’t keen on Tooting. I’ve had some bad experiences there in the past, though I know it’s up and coming now…also a bit too close to DH’s work. We have viewed a few flats in Earlsfield, same prices as the ones in Wimbledon but slightly more cramped.
OP posts:
Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 22:25

I’ve heard from friends who live nearby that Haydon’s rd / Dundonald area aren’t particularly safe? They have young children. Put me off quite a bit.

OP posts:
Qwill · 10/03/2022 22:25

Ok, so I didn’t read the husband’s list of preferences (which are ridiculous), but yes, a lot of us have to live in London if we want a short commute so we can actually see our children. £500k for a flat is reasonable for a two bed, I would say very reasonable. Flats here can be a lot better than houses. Although I cannot imagine a detached house in proper London. The OP’s demands are in La La land.

Alliswells · 10/03/2022 22:27

Another mum here that for me the garden was a lifesaver with my kids. They were able to play safely and independently while I got on with chores etc.

Original poster
whatsay11 · 10/03/2022 22:28

@Qwill

Ok, so I didn’t read the husband’s list of preferences (which are ridiculous), but yes, a lot of us have to live in London if we want a short commute so we can actually see our children. £500k for a flat is reasonable for a two bed, I would say very reasonable. Flats here can be a lot better than houses. Although I cannot imagine a detached house in proper London. The OP’s demands are in La La land.
There has been no mention of a detached house…

DH is picky about specific area - agree this is not entirely reasonable but we do have to be in the same general area

Not terraced because of the AWFUL living experience we are having now.

Short commute purely because DH works shifts, he won’t be home til 10pm many nights and in the early mornings. The sooner he gets home, the more he can actually see his kids and help me a bit if possible.

Curb appeal - I mean everyone wants this and it’s kind of a dealbreaker for me too a little bit as I can’t imagine us moving again (bloody expensive)

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 10/03/2022 22:28

Yes I definitely agree, sorry for not replying. We haven’t looked at Kingston much at all. There is a reason, though I can’t remember well. Thanks for this, it’s OIEO £600 but I’ve saved it to my Rightmove.

The problem with Kingston is the time it takes to get anywhere from it. The train line is very slow 30/47 mins to Waterloo depending. No tube. And the traffic. It’s hemmed in by the river on one side and the park on the other.

New Malden is on a much faster line - 20 mins to Waterloo, only 2 stops to Wimbledon tube.

TatianaBis · 10/03/2022 22:30

@whatsay11

I’ve heard from friends who live nearby that Haydon’s rd / Dundonald area aren’t particularly safe? They have young children. Put me off quite a bit.
The bit round South Park Gardens is fine and family friendly, but also outside your budget.
TatianaBis · 10/03/2022 22:31

Not terraced because of the AWFUL living experience we are having now.

But you could have exactly the same experience living in a flat (if this is a noise issue).

I suppose you’re as well to avoid a flat in a terraced house and have noise on all sides.

Housinghelp321 · 10/03/2022 22:32

But i don’t understand how you can be okay with a flat but not a terraced house. Surely sharing the actual building with someone else is potentially even worse than living right next door to them?

godmum56 · 10/03/2022 22:35

I think it depends what you mean by kerb appeal, to my mind its the kind of thing that instantly attracts a buyer and if you are planning to stay for years then maybe its not that important? I am house looking in a kind of casual way and have very definite ideas on what I want....honestly kerb sppeal comes well down the list....I mean Inwant the roof, gutters windows and so on to be in good nick but I honestly don't care if the house is pretty. Much more important to me is the house layout, light rooms and so on