for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

@D0lphine

Do you have to be in London?

Nearly other part of the country could get you an amazing family home for £550,000

Not lately it can’t. But anyway, if you read OP’s posts then you’ll see that they need to be in London.

@Housinghelp321

But i don’t understand how you can be okay with a flat but not a terraced house. Surely sharing the actual building with someone else is potentially even worse than living right next door to them?

Well this started as a search for a top floor only flat in a semi detached building. So only really one neighbour below us (as we could deal with noisy neighbours downstairs, but not above us, like now) and one to the side of us.

Now it has changed into DH feeling that a child without a garden is almost deprived (not the exact word used of course, but I say this to emphasise how important it is to him now). I grew up without a garden and I lived.

he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through
It surprises us all....
😂

DH is picky about specific area

Not terraced because of the AWFUL living experience we are having now
End of terrace is like a semi

Short commute purely because DH works shifts, he won’t be home til 10pm many nights and in the early mornings. The sooner he gets home, the more he can actually see his kids and help me a bit if possible.
Do his share not help

Curb appeal - I mean everyone wants this and it’s kind of a dealbreaker for me too a little bit as I can’t imagine us moving again (bloody expensive)
It's kerb not curb, and it doesn't matter so much how nice it looks from the outside as how it fits your needs inside, and meets your budget

So your husband wants to choose kerb appeal over a comfortable way of raising your children? Let me guess… you’ll be the one acting as primary carer? Trying to get toddler, baby and pram up and down stairs to your flat, without losing any in the process. And then walk an hour to the common (double any distance with a toddler) so the toddler can see the swans.

Only you won’t do that much, because it’s too hard - so you’ll be staying in all day, trying to keep the toddler from running around because your downstairs neighbours complain about the incessant noise.

All so that he can beam at some nice yellow brick and sash windows when he comes home of an evening.

I agree with you that kids don't really need a garden. We have a garden that is far more hassle than it is worth to keep weed-free, and DC spend about 6 times longer in the park that's 10 minutes walk away than they do in the garden. I would way rather have no garden at all.

The area around Dundonald Park is not dodgy at all.
I know that area very well and there are some lovely streets in that park of Wimbledon.

Even Wimbledon Chase is starting to look much better now.

And Dundonald school is very well regarded, but to be honest, you couldn’t find much in that area with your budget anyway.

Streatham?
How about this modern two-bed house with patio garden in a private development:
www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/60936693/?search_identifier=3070ea5c454193bddd50f2408f676e5a

KERB

KERB APPEAL

(in BrE at least).

Please.

I was just mentioning the park as an alternative for you to walk to from whenever it is that you’ve seen those two potential flats.

Instead of going all the way up the hill to the conmen where all you can do is run around for a bit.

@whatsay11
I agree with kerb appeal. I know it sounds silly but I love living in a period property. Although now, with prices going up, we will be hardest hit as we don’t have a modern insulated home.

Apologies, I was just reading previous posts about the detached home. But I don’t understand how a flat is better than a terrace? Surely it would be worse?

30mins is my maximum commute and that is non negotiable as we both work in the city and do equal childcare/nursery pick ups/housework etc. hence we need to live central. We were also going to move but are wary of interest rate hikes and general costs going up. So going to stay as we have so many tube/bus train options here and just improve the living space, luckily we have enough rooms and can extend.

haydons road
Southfields

[quote Woollystockings]Streatham?
How about this modern two-bed house with patio garden in a private development:
www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/60936693/?search_identifier=3070ea5c454193bddd50f2408f676e5a[/quote]
This house has parking and a shared garden as well as a private patio.

@MyAnacondaMight

So your husband wants to choose kerb appeal over a comfortable way of raising your children? Let me guess… you’ll be the one acting as primary carer? Trying to get toddler, baby and pram up and down stairs to your flat, without losing any in the process. And then walk an hour to the common (double any distance with a toddler) so the toddler can see the swans.

Only you won’t do that much, because it’s too hard - so you’ll be staying in all day, trying to keep the toddler from running around because your downstairs neighbours complain about the incessant noise.

All so that he can beam at some nice yellow brick and sash windows when he comes home of an evening.

Hard to argue with any of that. And I'd make those points to him.

@ThanksItHasPockets

KERB

KERB APPEAL

(in BrE at least).

Please.

How have I caused slight offence with just one word?

I’m British but DH was an international kid educated in American schools. I used to hate his Americanisms but now I speak and type like him too unfortunately. You know what I mean though??

Kerb appeal!! He's still thinking like a single man 🤣😅

You're going to need space, you'll need to be near childminding family and endure being a dist from his family in an emergency being practical.

Dundonald park is in absolutely no way dodgy! A bit staid and nappy valley without the coffee shops would be a better assessment. It’s right next to a conservation area and people sell their organs to live next to Dundonald school. But yes terraces and you won’t find a good 2 bed for your budget I don’t think.

The Haydons Park road @KirstenBlest is linking to is a great option.

Near the shops in Merton High street and good commute for your husband (if I’m correctly assuming he works at St George’s?).

I think You would be in the catchment area for All Saints Primary school, I volunteered there for a while, it’s a nice school.

YABU. Get the garden. Our kids are out there all the time. One trampoline or swing set gives hours every week entertainment

Flat 1 sounds like hell on Earth.

Flat 2 sounds identical to our current setup minus the second bathroom (although we do not live in London and we do have a decent size park within walking distance)

We have DS3 DS2 and DT on the way and it's our intention to make this flat last us with 4 kids if we can.

Downsides - Yes the concrete flight of stairs up to the flat isn't ideal with young kids but soon they will all be safely walking up and down. The parking isint great but we only have one car.

Upsides - main thing for us is the low mortgage but we have no neighbours above us so no noise, it's really cheap to heat given it's an old tenement and sandwiched between two properties, we only need heating on upstairs in winter (dormer conversions are really cold) it's allowed us to live in literally the best street in town and walking distance to the best primary school without having to pay through the nose (houses in this street are obv pricey but also old so money pits)

Eventual plan for us is to remodel upstairs to put in another bathroom and potentially third bedroom. With the rising cost of living we are happy to see how long we can make this last (forever hopefully) and if it means we can afford more holidays and day trips by sacrificing a garden then fine by me'

I lived in a flat without a garden for 4 years with a kid, in the middle of a city. We had access to parks and museums, and it was great. I'd personally go for the bigger flat without the garden. If things don't pan out and you have to stay in the flat for longer than a few years, you'll have room for another kid.

If you’d consider Streatham, there’s a lot: three bed split-level flat with private garden, converted from Victorian end of terrace, share of freehold: on at 560.
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119646911#/?channel=RES_BUY

It’s always better to have a garden if you can- beleive me. When they are little and you can just open the door and have it open like an extra room and they can play in a way they can’t in the house. Even just hanging washing out and getting a good breeze through the house are all benefits.

The thing is yes you need to be in the general London area but you dont need to be in the specific area.

There are many family friendly areas that would suit and give you much more money - children dont need a garden and a house but you have the budget to give it too them

Go with the bigger flat. Indoor space and especially a room where you can put toys or use for a playroom is priceless.

If your parents will have the baby while you're at work, then they'll be the ones taking him or her to parks or maybe they have a garden to run around in.

I had three children when I moved into my house. Up to then I lived in second floor apartments. Schlepping baby, toddler, and groceries upstairs wasn't easy, and the buildings I lived in had basement laundry facilities ( none in the apartments themselves) so that was another bother, but very honestly, if you put your mind to it you'll manage fine.

The two storey flat sounds nice for children and you could stay put for many years as long as school catchments don't change.

A garden is nice if the aspect is south, not overshadowed by trees, no creepy or grumpy neighbour next door keeping tabs on your child, or someone who sits out smoking weed or cigarettes, or BBQing all day at the weekend. Lots of people can't put their washing out because there's always smoke coming from next door. Lots of people let cats roam and they'll stink up your baby's sandbox or poop in your little herbaceous border. Be very careful about the garden if you're inclined to opt for the flat with one. It's not an automatic plus in a flat.