To not want child spying on us in our garden?

[NorthernMoon]

Our neighbour lets her daughter (age 6) peer through our back gate or a crack in the back fence quietly watching us, with her nose up against the fence. The houses aren’t next to each other, she comes down the lane behind the houses and stares in. I know she does this because her mum has told me, and yesterday I could see her feet at the bottom of the gate.
My child is friends with her and she comes to play sometimes. I don’t mind her coming in to play when we’ve arranged it, but I do mind being secretly watched in my garden and the parents thinking it’s ok to let them. Also it’s awkward knowing they’re there watching us when I don’t always want to invite them in.

AIBU to think parents should stop their child from staring through a crack in someone’s fence/gate because it’s rude?
AIBU to think I’m entitled to privacy in my own garden?

I know she’s only a kid but it’s mostly about the parents not stopping it, and also about setting boundaries with neighbours as I don’t want to have to invite them in every time the child appears at the back gate.

Start doing some watering in that area

Every time she does it you open the gate, say kindly but firmly “off you go now, it’s rude to peer into peoples gardens” and if it persists, you start bringing her back home and telling her parents not to let her do it. Tell her if she wants to call to play with your DD that’s fine,but she can’t just stand there outside the fence.

id be having loud sweary inappropriate conversations or playing explicit music

YANBU, stick some sort of screen on the other side of it or patch it up with wood.

Open the gate and tell her to stop being nosy and go home. A 6 year old will be embarrassed and frightened of being told off again, so she won't do it again.

quick blast of the hosepipe will solve this

Can you close the gaps she peers through.

Yup plug the gaps

A lad along our back street used to do this.
One day whilst hosing the yard bit down he got wet... Never did it again. His df came stomping along shouting his ds was wet. His ds was a peeping friggin Tom.
A few years later he did indeed assault a little girl in our street.
Shudder what he became as an adult.

Yanbu.fill in the holes,or buy plants.
I'd also be worried about a six year old alone in a back lane for the long periods of time you are suggesting.

@KarmaStar

Yanbu.fill in the holes,or buy plants. I'd also be worried about a six year old alone in a back lane for the long periods of time you are suggesting.

Oh she’s not alone, there’s always a parent around

It’s rude. It’s worse that a parent isn’t calling her out.

Plant something or coverup the gap.

Her parent brings her down the lane and waits while she has a snoop? Just open the gate and tell them you don't like being watched through the fence! Don't go to the bother of special planting or fence alterations.

Just shout "peeking pervert" loudly again and again. Pretty sure the parents won't want to explain that to her

@Nubbled

Just shout "peeking pervert" loudly again and again. Pretty sure the parents won't want to explain that to her

🤣 🤣🤣

I’d have to tell her to go away.

I'd just patch up the holes.

I agree, open the gate and tell her off every time she does it. Take her back home if necessary. It Weill either embarrass her or embarrass her parents enough that they stop her doing it.

Grab a ladder, prop it against their garden fence, climb to the top and just stare at them when they’re in their garden. Fully stare all crazy eyes. They’ll never darken your doorway again.

That would do my head in. Very difficult conversation to have with the parent about the child. Why would any parent let their 6 year old do this. Same if in a restaurant and a parent lets their child turn around and climb up on chair and stare at you for ages. Just say to the child or parent best you go home now as we are having family time and I really don't like anyone looking in through the gate thank you and byeee... With people like this have to be straight up even though it is so awkward. Also tell the parent you would rather kids just meet when arrange play time.

Springhassprung gave good advise, yes would do that and just say you are trying to do some work and cannot have kids over unless pre organized.

How high is the fence, can you do some naked gardening when you know she's about? Her parents might stop her if she starts asking awkward questions.

Oh she’s not alone, there’s always a parent around

Now that is weird!
So two people are peering in? Get planting and block up sight line

YANBU at all. Try and cover the gap. I know you shouldn't HAVE to but, well I would... Rather than have a neighbourhood war.

YANBU at all. Try and cover the gap. I know you shouldn't HAVE to but, well I would..., Rather than have a neighbourhood war.