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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want child spying on us in our garden?

241 replies

NorthernMoon · 06/03/2022 21:02

Our neighbour lets her daughter (age 6) peer through our back gate or a crack in the back fence quietly watching us, with her nose up against the fence. The houses aren’t next to each other, she comes down the lane behind the houses and stares in. I know she does this because her mum has told me, and yesterday I could see her feet at the bottom of the gate.
My child is friends with her and she comes to play sometimes. I don’t mind her coming in to play when we’ve arranged it, but I do mind being secretly watched in my garden and the parents thinking it’s ok to let them. Also it’s awkward knowing they’re there watching us when I don’t always want to invite them in.

AIBU to think parents should stop their child from staring through a crack in someone’s fence/gate because it’s rude?
AIBU to think I’m entitled to privacy in my own garden?

I know she’s only a kid but it’s mostly about the parents not stopping it, and also about setting boundaries with neighbours as I don’t want to have to invite them in every time the child appears at the back gate.

OP posts:
Bringsexyback · 06/03/2022 23:11

You could be charged with assault for purposely turning a hose pipe on a child

Blackcatsocks · 06/03/2022 23:11

She's just a 6 year old looking for her friend. I think you're being OTT.

5zeds · 06/03/2022 23:11

You could....

thebabessavedme · 06/03/2022 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

LaMontser · 06/03/2022 23:23

You need to fill your crack.

MsAmerica · 06/03/2022 23:23

Two obvious solutions:

  1. Patch up the cracks.
  1. Start walking around nude in the backyard. The child will tell the parents, and the parents will definitely crack down on the child peeping.
JimmyDurham · 06/03/2022 23:24

Why not just plug the gaps in the fence?

FlutterShite · 06/03/2022 23:24

2. Start walking around nude in the backyard. The child will tell the parents, and the parents will definitely crack down on the child peeping.

NB. This doesn't work.

TrashyPanda · 06/03/2022 23:28

@JimmyDurham

Why not just plug the gaps in the fence?
Because fences need to have gaps in them, to let the wind through. Otherwise they are destroyed in high winds.
Smokeahontas · 06/03/2022 23:28

You know those prank WhatsApp messages that play a sex noise? Play the sex noise on repeat if she’s with her mum. That’ll embarrass the mum…

Justilou1 · 06/03/2022 23:29

We woke up to next door’s kid helping herself to our fridge. Her mum had sent her over the fence to get some mayonnaise. (We saw her duck down behind it when we looked out the window.) Interestingly, the police had only recently been called because of this family’s antisocial behaviour, so this one went down well. We shut the back door again while the kid was inside, gave her some biscuits (kid was a locust) and called the police again and handed over the “evidence”.

RachelGreeneGreep · 06/03/2022 23:30

@BeetyAxe

Every time she does it you open the gate, say kindly but firmly “off you go now, it’s rude to peer into peoples gardens” and if it persists, you start bringing her back home and telling her parents not to let her do it. Tell her if she wants to call to play with your DD that’s fine,but she can’t just stand there outside the fence.
Exactly. Pleasant but firm.

As for the parent being with her Hmm they might get the hint 'off you go home, both of you'. Wink

incognitoforthisone · 06/03/2022 23:30

@thebabessavedme

a little girl of 6 and you bunch of bitches want to turn the hose on her! bless her little heart. who knows what her life is like that she spends time peering through next doors fence?
Are you talking about a small child, who is friends with your child, who peeps through the fence to see if her friend is there, when they walk past?(and possibly stalls there for 10 mins or so hoping to see their friend) Because I wouldn't have a problem with that. In fact, its quite sweet.

I wouldn't find it sweet if a child was peering through my fence for 10 minutes, accompanied by a parent. I'd find it weird and rude. Waving at her friend if she sees them looking out of the front window, or indeed knocking to ask if she wants to come out to play - that's quite sweet. Standing and peering through a gap in the fence for 10 minutes at a time, without saying anything? Nope, that's just terrible manners and her parents shouldn't be letting her do it.

FlutterShite · 06/03/2022 23:35

We woke up to next door’s kid helping herself to our fridge. Her mum had sent her over the fence to get some mayonnaise. (We saw her duck down behind it when we looked out the window.)

Shock Shock Shock Shock

Arabellla · 06/03/2022 23:38

Because fences need to have gaps in them, to let the wind through.
Otherwise they are destroyed in high winds.

Interesting!

Maybe OP could stick a black bin on the door until the child gets bored.

BlueSummerBaby · 06/03/2022 23:38

@FlutterShite

2. Start walking around nude in the backyard. The child will tell the parents, and the parents will definitely crack down on the child peeping.

NB. This doesn't work.

Yes she'd have even more people peeping at her from their upstairs windows 😂
Arabellla · 06/03/2022 23:38

Black bin bag

NowEvenBetter · 06/03/2022 23:41

@thebabessavedme

a little girl of 6 and you bunch of bitches want to turn the hose on her! bless her little heart. who knows what her life is like that she spends time peering through next doors fence?
Personal attacks are fine to do online though, for you? bless the creepy kid, peeping with her blessed parents allowing her to peep. Awwww 😂😂😂
oakleaffy · 06/03/2022 23:44

@Bringsexyback

You could be charged with assault for purposely turning a hose pipe on a child
Are you the Peeper's mum??
youvegottenminuteslynn · 06/03/2022 23:46

@thebabessavedme

How very dare you. We're vipers, not bitches.

Wafflesnsniffles · 06/03/2022 23:48

If the parent is there...... I would just open the gate and ask the parent to quit allowing their child to be so rude.
If it continues I would have the hose ready in future!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 06/03/2022 23:49

To parent, at the time, on the spot rather than a message of afterwards: "Hey, could you not keep looking into our garden, it's making us uncomfortable. Thanks."

Rinse and repeat.

RantyAunty · 06/03/2022 23:51

Send your DD over to hers with glitter, paint, and legos. Grin

VanGoghsDog · 06/03/2022 23:56

@Justilou1

We woke up to next door’s kid helping herself to our fridge. Her mum had sent her over the fence to get some mayonnaise. (We saw her duck down behind it when we looked out the window.) Interestingly, the police had only recently been called because of this family’s antisocial behaviour, so this one went down well. We shut the back door again while the kid was inside, gave her some biscuits (kid was a locust) and called the police again and handed over the “evidence”.
Maybe lock your door?

Are you saying a kid came in your house for mayonnaise first thing in the morning?

WrongWayApricot · 07/03/2022 00:03

When her mum told you that her daughter looks through your fence what did you say? And what are the parents doing in the back lane while the child is looking?