To not want child spying on us in our garden?

[NorthernMoon]

Our neighbour lets her daughter (age 6) peer through our back gate or a crack in the back fence quietly watching us, with her nose up against the fence. The houses aren’t next to each other, she comes down the lane behind the houses and stares in. I know she does this because her mum has told me, and yesterday I could see her feet at the bottom of the gate.
My child is friends with her and she comes to play sometimes. I don’t mind her coming in to play when we’ve arranged it, but I do mind being secretly watched in my garden and the parents thinking it’s ok to let them. Also it’s awkward knowing they’re there watching us when I don’t always want to invite them in.

AIBU to think parents should stop their child from staring through a crack in someone’s fence/gate because it’s rude?
AIBU to think I’m entitled to privacy in my own garden?

I know she’s only a kid but it’s mostly about the parents not stopping it, and also about setting boundaries with neighbours as I don’t want to have to invite them in every time the child appears at the back gate.

Hose. Pipe

How did her mum tell you? It’s a very odd thing to say. Is she hoping she’ll be invited to play.
I’d put some screening up I think.

Ahh the parent is with them.
The parent is hoping you will invite the child in and give them a break!
Don’t you will never be rid of said child, been there bought the t shirt.

The parent will say the child wants to play with yours. Funny that they don’t offer to have your child at their house, on the phone or at the front door like a normal person.

@dipdye

Hose. Pipe

this is the onyl solution

Get an air horn
Every time Nosey Nellie sticks her neb through the fence, give it a parp.

Shout “we can see you!”

Start singing “go away, go away, go away” to the tune of “here we go”

If the parent is there while the child is watching, I’d be inclined to say very loudly :

‘ Oh hi Molly! I see you there, are you ok? Do you want my Polly to come and play? Is that why you’re peering through the fence? To see if she can come round to yours to play? Because yes that’s fine by me if it’s ok with your mum?’

Another vote for the hose pipe. I enlisted a super soaker water gun last summer when kids started watching me out the back. They soon stopped.

but poor child.....I'd be addressing this with the parent.

Hold on, the parent accompanies the child to peer through your fence? That is really weird!

"I'd also be worried about a six year old alone in a back lane for the long periods of time you are suggesting."

"Oh she’s not alone, there’s always a parent around"

There's a parent around? Bloody hell! In that case I'd be ripping the gate open and having a full-on rant at the parent - 'what do you think you're doing encouraging your daughter to behave like a peeping Tom, how would you like being watched in your garden, take your child back home and don't you ever do this again!'

@Nubbled

Just shout "peeking pervert" loudly again and again. Pretty sure the parents won't want to explain that to her

This literally has made me laugh so hard the bed shook. thanks, I needed a bit of humour today .

Poor child.

I would really judge the parents here. They're not bringing the child up with a normal social understanding.

I think I would probably make a point of going out each time you see her, finding the adult, and saying 'hi, just saw you looking in, what were you wanting?' so they have to explain themselves each time. That won't make the child feel awful but should give the adult the message that you see this as a disruption.

Call her Keyhole Kate at the Gate.

Keyhole Kate at the Gate should have had an attachment:

Start singing “go away, go away, go away” to the tune of “here we go”

😩😭🤣🤣🤣😂

Erm, the parent is with them? So presumably they're not spending hours per day "spying" on you? Because the parent presumably has other stuff to do.

Are you talking about a small child, who is friends with your child, who peeps through the fence to see if her friend is there, when they walk past?(and possibly stalls there for 10 mins or so hoping to see their friend) Because I wouldn't have a problem with that. In fact, its quite sweet.

If you really mean that child, and her parent, are sitting at your fence peeping through, with a packed lunch, for whole days, then yes, that's absolutely weird, and points to a mental health problem (in the adult).

I hear that cracks in fences can be naturally encouraged to seal up by liberally spreading marmite around the inside rim of the hole.

Only problem with that, though, is if, in a freak occurrence, children accidentally catch their faces on it, it gets all over their faces, then their hands, and inevitably all over their clothes - and takes their parents ages to repeatedly wash out.

@Nubbled

Just shout "peeking pervert" loudly again and again. Pretty sure the parents won't want to explain that to her

This has had me in stitches too!

We had something similar last summer. A little boy, whose gran down our street looked after him during school holidays, would stare in through our living room window. He gave us a fair few scares when we noticed his face peering in, silently, looking for our son (older, not interested in playing). I spoke with his gran; she wasn't interested. The Next day I looked into the back garden and saw the boy on our swing. I went out to ask what he was doing and he just asked, "Have you got any chocolate?" We moved house soon after that.

Just buy a strip of wood and nail it to the inside of the gate covering the gap. Takes about 5 mins to put on.

@Nubbled

Just shout "peeking pervert" loudly again and again. Pretty sure the parents won't want to explain that to her

Actual LOL

I'd go for the hose pipe, it would be a dreadful shame if a child & her parent got soakedsprayed by accident wouldn't it. Especially this time of year!!

They are neighbours so I assume the op means the parent is in the garden and the child is out on the lane peering through the gate,if this is the case just don't say anything as the child is only 6 years old.I think the child is hoping that she will see her friend to play with.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣and not to spy

@FlutterShite

We had something similar last summer. A little boy, whose gran down our street looked after him during school holidays, would stare in through our living room window. He gave us a fair few scares when we noticed his face peering in, silently, looking for our son (older, not interested in playing). I spoke with his gran; she wasn't interested. The Next day I looked into the back garden and saw the boy on our swing. I went out to ask what he was doing and he just asked, "Have you got any chocolate?" We moved house soon after that.

Very British of you!

I'm surprised the OP hasn't thought of moving house.

Sprinkler or a well placed dog turd their side of the fence.