To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

You do realise you have to tell us what it was now.

Someone I was at school with in the late seventies told everyone she wanted to study French at university so she could become a bisexual secretary.

Just Googled it and smiled

This was years ago and not quite the same but here goes. I still cringe when I think abut it

Talking about music with a guy. I told him I really liked EMINEM and his friend Slim Shady...............

Or the lady on a dating site who said she liked to spend time in the company of effluent gentlemen

A line manager once said to me that he was going to have to give someone their “barging orders” He meant marching orders.

A client yesterday told me they had been feeling "Out of salts"

Made me chuckle!

I work with someone who is Queen of malapropisms

I had to bite my tongue one mother's day when she opened her jewellery box and proudly showed me the diamond 'pendulum' her son bought her 🤣 🤣

I occasionally work with someone who constantly talks about "garnishing" information, rather than garnering it. I keep expecting the information to be presented with a sprig of parsley on it.

Aww, I loved The Rivals at school. Mrs Malaprop and Lydia Languish.

I once knew a lovely person who had a job interview in a prison. Half way through her comprehensive PowerPoint presentation on "penile reform" she realised a basic proof reading of the slides would have saved a lot of chortling from the panel...

@ChattanoogaShoeShoe

I once knew a lovely person who had a job interview in a prison. Half way through her comprehensive PowerPoint presentation on "penile reform" she realised a basic proof reading of the slides would have saved a lot of chortling from the panel...

Depending on what she had in mind, she might be onto something...

A long time ago now, but when companies started to have to have official policies, I had to write a very long document about ethical trading.

My fellow director could not wrap his head around what it meant at all, and every time we had a serious & important meeting with someone we needed to impress with how professional we were, he would say to them 'we're fully committed to ethnic trading'. I cringed inside out every time.

I don't remember much about primary school, but I do remember the teacher telling the whole class that, in writing about the Xmas story, I'd said that the 3 wise men had brought gifts of gold, frankenstein and myrrh.

I love these and start to copy other people's.

@juteweaver Possibly apocryphal, but apparently some child once said 'Gold, myrrh, Frank sent this'

My friend wants to find a boyfriend who is “articulated”. Don’t we all Helen, don’t we all!

Ok so i was talking about a historian and said histrionic

To be fair OP, most of the historians I know could have that description applied to them...

@Monty27

Ok so i was talking about a historian and said histrionic

Theres a thing I have noticed locally (we're not originally from this area) where instead of 'toing and froing' when people describe people chopping and changing their mind, they say 'toing and throwing'.

its very strange.

I once comment on how promiscuous someone's child was (precocious). I died a million times.

Oh I absolutely love it when people describe geographical areas as "depraved"

I recently heard vinegarette used instead of vignette

@Bunty55

This was years ago and not quite the same but here goes. I still cringe when I think abut it

Talking about music with a guy. I told him I really liked EMINEM and his friend Slim Shady...............

🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I was around 8 I used the word orgasmic rather than organic and had no idea why the adults were laughing