To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

@unname

We overheard stepson on FaceTime with his best friend when they were about 12. Friend said something about someone having “no self of steam”. Step son made him repeat it then said “Do you mean no self-esteem? You dumbass!”

Maybe MN pedants should take a similar robust approach!

@Vaughan32

Aged 10 wrote a school essay about the Pubic Wars between Rome and Carthage

A hairy conflict with more than a few close shaves.

A radio newsreader once called the then Chancellor of the Exchequer, Sir Stafford Cripps, Sir Stifford Craps. And another one accidentally referred to His Poopiness the Hole.

I once read the first draft of a scientific paper, which intended to say that 14 participants had been excluded from the study for not meeting certain criteria. Unfortunately it actually said '14 participants were executed for not meeting the criteria'! It was corrected before publication.

I once (many years ago) heard a newsreader report that a Labour MP had accused the Conservatives of using race as an 'electrical instrument'. I am told that, when Henry Kissinger was -rather bizarrely- awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, a newsreader said that he'd been awarded the 'Prize Piece'. I am also told of an American commercial for Extra Long Carolina Rice, which exhorted people to buy 'Extra Wrong Carolina Lice'. More recently, a newsreader reported the last American president engaging in his favourite form of communication as 'President Tweet trumped...'

@VK456

I told someone that I had difficulty putting shitted feets on my bed.

Actually, that's not a malapropism - it's a spoonerism.

(This post has been brought to you by NitPic Inc - pedants to the Internet since 1994.)