To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

No, it was rather than organism

I remember being at the science museum with my parents of all people and the mock up of the space landing and was trying to explain that I knew all about how the astronauts eject themselves, you can guess what mistake I made

I could have died.

My step-daughter said she wanted to be a naturist when she grows up. She meant naturalist.....

My friend often uses malapropisms. Her daughter was misbehaving one day she was told she was "skating on eggshells".

She also made us all dinner once and said "I'm not barking up my own tree but that was delicious!"

This is outing… man years ago I was discussing my work with a boyfriend’s dad (first time meeting him). I was doing some training and told him that while I was enjoying double entry it had initially been hard. Book keeping obviously!

@OzziePopPop

This is outing… man years ago I was discussing my work with a boyfriend’s dad (first time meeting him). I was doing some training and told him that while I was enjoying double entry it had initially been hard. Book keeping obviously!

^^ God, this one made me blush for you *@OzziePopPop* 😂😂😂 Did he manage to keep a straight face?

Listening to a colleague giving a very high level presentation, and talking about a ‘sequin of events’. I had to pretend to drop my pen so I could bend down to pick it up from under the table to control the giggles….

My colleague said she was "oi vey" with the process, had to pinch my hand to stop me laughing.

A snooty male boss introduced me to the German delegation as being part of the Breast Practice team who improved processes (only woman In our team)

@Monty27

Ok so i was talking about a historian and said histrionic

I would just assume that, like most histrionic historians, you were also appreciating the fine wine.

It’s just a slip of the tongue, don’t worry about it

I only recently found out I was pronouncing espresso expresso. Also often pronounce chameleon phonetically - I know it’s wrong but I cannae help it, people find it hilarious, unsurprisingly

I was interviewing someone once and he asked how we stored content or something and I said we had set up a suppository to make sure everyone had access

What did your date say? Was it a good date apart from that and are you intending on repeating?

Life is. I am sure I’ve uttered the odd one or two in my time. I have a friend, who does it regularly and my uncle was pretty constant. Just have to hide that little smile of embarrassment when I hear them.

@LuckyWithMyLot

A client yesterday told me they had been feeling "Out of salts"

Made me chuckle!

Are you sure it wasn't 'out of sorts'?

Someone at an event once asked me where the hostility boxes were. They meant hospitality.

I have a friend who described an underweight horse as emancipated .

I talked at length about the elephant on my shoulder in an interview once. I knew what the correct phrase was, I just couldn’t remember it in the pressurised environment.

As a hospital therapist, we often go to visit patients who are dozing in bed and have to rouse them from sleep. I have many times seen documented " unable to arouse the patient" " patient hard to arouse" etc.

Last week a senior therapist for whom English is not her first language kept using the word deranged when talking about a patient, who was not at all deranged. I knew what she was trying to say but for retelling the story, I can't remember. It was funny at the time!!!

@LuckyWithMyLot

A client yesterday told me they had been feeling "Out of salts"

Made me chuckle!

That is a really classic Maloprop!

Last week my partner said “give up the goat”…. He genuinely thought it was goat not ghost! Cue much domestic livestock-based hilarity on my part

Laughing so hard I’m shaking and worried I’m going to wake up my DH!

My colleague sent a mass email to the entire company because a system she supported was down, writing “sorry for any incontinence this may have caused”.

Worked with someone who said "to all intensive purposes " He'd even write it in emails.

I had a manager who used to ask if the information he had just shared “resignated” with anyone.

I used to sit there and think that I wasn’t sure if it has resonated with me, but that if I couldn’t stop giggling I’d have to resign soon.

@TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek he did laugh, he was actually pretty filthy minded (grim). I said it so innocently though, totally straight faced! Then I ‘got it’ 😳

On our first lesson of general studies (a-level), we all had to introduce ourselves, say what subjects we were studying, future career wishes etc. One girl said “I’m studying law as I would like to go into soliciting”.

Years ago I was in my first job (Saturday work in a video shop), and I was talking to my colleague about a film that had really bad special effects. It was about a giant octopus that was killing sailors. Anyway instead of saying "you could see the string moving his tentacles", take a wild guess at what I said the string was attached to.

I once told a friend she was superficial. She was really upset but I kept insisting. Only realised later I meant superstitious.