To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

Loved Kath & Kim. Look at moy, look at moy.

My Hungarian boss once told me I was a very conscious worker.

Brownie points for not being passed out at the bench...and conscientious to boot!

@Crocmonsieur

Not quite a malapropism but I do get the meaning of phrases mixed up sometimes.

My mum used to tell me not to rest of my laurels during exam prep as a teenager. I thought she was telling me not to be lazy.

Fast forward 20 years and I tell my PhD supervisor that I had been resting on my laurels that week but would get back to work next week.

She gave me a funny look.

That reminds me of someone I read online who had thought that being "three sheets to the wind" meant you were really busy... some crossed wires when talking to clients!

@unname

Laughing so hard I’m shaking and worried I’m going to wake up my DH!

My colleague sent a mass email to the entire company because a system she supported was down, writing “sorry for any incontinence this may have caused”.

I once received similar (sent to the whole office) on an email stating the toilets were out of order. As there were plenty of other toilets available I don't think it was intentional...

My DH once hit a pheasant with the car.

My youngest went around telling people his dad hit a peasant with his car 🤦‍♀️

[quote KeepYaHeadUp]@40thanniversayfastapproacning - dammit! Is that like a massive, massive malapropism on my part?![/quote]
Could be!

On a train journey, my mum blurted out to the entire carriage "Oh look, there are some peasants in that field"

We spent the rest of the journey waving like the Queen to any peasants we spotted, while the pheasants flew away.

Then there was the police report (actually presented in court) that said the victim complained of being raped annually.

When I was 15 my friend’s dad was politely making conversation by asking me what my favourite subject was. I said history. He asked why. I said it was because I really enjoyed having mass debates in class…

Not quite a malapropism but the awkwardness when I realised what he had heard still makes me cringe 30 years later.

@thenewduchessoflapland

My DH once hit a pheasant with the car.

My youngest went around telling people his dad hit a peasant with his car 🤦‍♀️

Round here, you sometimes get kids telling folk their dad shoots peasants on the weekend. And, I can tell you, that really does raise eyebrows

I asked our solicitor about her soliciting

Not exactly a malapropism but embarrassing in the same kind of way.

It should have meant what I wanted it to!

That reminds me of someone I read online who had thought that being "three sheets to the wind" meant you were really busy... some crossed wires when talking to clients!

This one really made me laugh

Also read a book once that mentioned " milk and toast" people instead of milquetoast.

Off to google 'milquetoast'. Always learning things on MN 😅

I think I only learned about it when I read the milk and toast reference in that book and hadn't a clue what was meant by it!

There was a bar round the corner from us when I was growing up. It's name was Emma's Brasserie. In all these years we were there, my DM referred to it as Emma's Brassiere.

She also referred to police flak jackets as flapjacks.

@Thecurtainsofdestiny

Also read a book once that mentioned " milk and toast" people instead of milquetoast.

There’s a word that’s not used enough.

I used to work in the bankruptcy section of a public utility company, and some of the legal terms used to cause confusion when speaking to customers. I had to tell one man we couldn't refund his overpayment as he'd been sequestrated, and he angrily informed me it was a lie, he had three children.

Another boss frequently referred to his back-up strategies as using a two-prawn attack.

Not quite a malapropism, but my mum's pal was a huge fan of Sofia Loren but always pronounced it Sophie Lorraine, and it drove us absolutely up the wall. And we couldn't correct her because when we said "it's Sofia Loren" she would just say, "that's what I said". Infuriating!

@Malariahilaria I just snorted reading that 😂

On being asked what faith I was (for the purposes of a 'box ticking' on a form) I told the box ticker I was a prostitute 🤦‍♀️

Part of my job involves asking people their medical history. I can't help but inwardly chuckle when someone tells me they have a prostrate problem. It is the getting down on the ground?!

I once asked a lady if her dog was KFC registered. I die a little when I think of that.

My friend has covid. She’s been complaining today about her muscley chest … :)

@Bellac11 Theres a thing I have noticed locally (we're not originally from this area) where instead of 'toing and froing' when people describe people chopping and changing their mind, they say 'toing and throwing'.

its very strange.

They might be saying to-ing and fro-ing?

@De88

Oh I absolutely love it when people describe geographical areas as "depraved"

I've been to a fair few depraved areas😂