To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

My sister is on here somewhere and she will definitely recognise this one. Our Great-Grandmother was famous for referring to Ferrero Rocher as ferocious chocolates.

Also, much hilarity ensued when a schoolmate came down from his A-level oral exam mortified that he had calmly informed the examiner he had been to Germany twice on a "Schwuleraustausch" rather than a "Schüleraustausch" - an exchange for gentlemen seeking gentlemen, rather than the rather tamer school exchange.

I've just bought a Chester draws.

@Monty27

Ok so i was talking about a historian and said histrionic

That's pretty funny!

@StuntEgg

I used to work in the bankruptcy section of a public utility company, and some of the legal terms used to cause confusion when speaking to customers. I had to tell one man we couldn't refund his overpayment as he'd been sequestrated, and he angrily informed me it was a lie, he had three children.

Another boss frequently referred to his back-up strategies as using a two-prawn attack.

Not quite a malapropism, but my mum's pal was a huge fan of Sofia Loren but always pronounced it Sophie Lorraine, and it drove us absolutely up the wall. And we couldn't correct her because when we said "it's Sofia Loren" she would just say, "that's what I said". Infuriating!

about the man whose masculinity was called into question.

Worked in a large lawyers firm in Edinburgh years ago and we had a huge job on, lots of overtime wanted. One lawyer said to his PA you better get your flak jacket on she replied oh where am I going?

Likewise @WorraLiberty but it was years ago and I've had two kids and can't remember them but a lot of them were industry specific, he popped up on LinkedIn a while ago I was pleased to see he was still on the go.

Diamond Pendelum sounds really rude btw 😅

Oh God I've just remembered one of my mum's 4 Boys (instead of 5 Guys). My brothers now just call it 4 Boys!

French, lived and worked in the UK all my life.

Speaking to French colleagues about the fact that products were “sans préservatifs” which translates as “without condoms” (instead of saying “sans conservateurs”). Another one was “Je vais t’introduire à xxx” (I will insert you to… when all I intended was to introduce them). All regular pitfalls to French people who’ve lived a long time in the UK but awkward nonetheless.

In an essay at school I wrote about employees 'philandering' instead of 'pilfering'.

At age 52, my DM start doing stuff like putting newly bought veg in the washing machine rather than the fridge & announced, "it's the menapplause".

I have a friend who refers to ‘bifocal’ doors

I used to have a lovely hairdresser who came to the house, and one day, having just finished doing my hair, called out to my husband in the garden to come and see, as apparently I looked ‘ravenous’! He and I had a good laugh about it afterwards

On a Spanish exchange as teenagers. My friend told her exchange student's parents "estoy muy caliente" instead of the correct "tengo calor". Rather than saying she was hot she told them she was veryhorny

My DH got a very strange look in our local cafe recently when he ordered a cup of tea and Barbarian slice.

What was the Barbarian slice meant to be?

Bavarian slice ( Greggs do lovely ones)

A teacher I had in Year 3 used to remind those of us who brought a 'Pat Lunch' to pop them on her desk when we arrived....🤣🤣🤣 I often wondered who Pat was and why we had his lunch!

Omg I use these all the time! Sometimes I wonder if I have dyslexia or a form of as I'm awful at mixing up words 🥴

Thanks stonebrambleboy.

I'm laughing at ''I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it''. That's funny.

I'm so busy at work I'm going to start using that one.

@jcyclops

On a train journey, my mum blurted out to the entire carriage "Oh look, there are some peasants in that field"

We spent the rest of the journey waving like the Queen to any peasants we spotted, while the pheasants flew away.

Pub near me had Peasant soup on its menu on St Stephen's day. This was about 1998, they were so lucky this was pre-internet. Well, pre social media shaming!

My DS proudly announced that one of his English GCSE texts was Jacqueline Hyde!!!

I have a friend who pronounces th as f. She wrong thingers once, and took a while to realise she mean fingers and genuinely thought it was just her mispronunciation.

My mum, woken up by a loud knock at the door: ‘Were you a bay leaf in a past life?!’

I love malapropisms.
Someone I know says 'exasperate the situation'

@ppeony

My mum, woken up by a loud knock at the door: ‘Were you a bay leaf in a past life?!’

😀😀😀 at herbal reincarnation.