Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Problem at Gym

195 replies

bullywee · 02/03/2022 20:34

More a WWYD...

Have been going to my local gym for 6 years. I am fat and unfit but can lift heavy weights and religiously go everyday.

I keep myself to myself, and rather than a hello/morning/have a good day to the people I see every day in the changing room keep myself to myself.

Over last 6 weeks or so a group of (middle aged) woman have started attending and frankly they are making my life miserable. Comments when I am on machines, comments in changing rooms, comments when doing free weights/lunges and so on.

They are genuinely making me feel uneasy and I now dread going (I enjoy the gym but not the experience).

I don't want to go to another gym as I like the gym I go to (and it suits me), I don't want to moan to the staff because I will look pathetic, but it is really getting me down. Sad

Sorry it is more of a rant and me getting things off my chest. I have always been big (over 6ft, 15 stone so not enormous) but badly bullied at school and maybe that is why I am so sad that my fun time which I have always enjoyed is being ruined.

OP posts:
ohhooh · 02/03/2022 20:36

What sort of comments are they making OP?

Comments that you can have a snappy comeback to, comments you can just ignore or comments that genuinely need to be mentioned to staff?

Them making comments on someone in the gym is more reflective of them than you, they're just projecting insecurities onto you. Don't let it get you down, and spoil something you enjoy!

TheHatInTheCat · 02/03/2022 20:36

What are the comments?

pangolina · 02/03/2022 20:37

Please go tell the staff. I worked in gyms for a very long time and the staff will not want this sort of thing going on. I promise.

ModerationInEverything · 02/03/2022 20:37

Headphones and ignore?

pastabest · 02/03/2022 20:38

what kind of things are they saying?

Does your gym have a behaviour policy?

Original poster
bullywee · 02/03/2022 20:39

Well I was an a-hole this morning for some reason in the changing room.

Yesterday it was look at that...

Others include how can she be so far if here every day.

Look at her doing squats

Constant staring that is really awkward

I know I should ignore them but it is just such a relief when they don't turn up at weekends.

OP posts:
Dreamstate · 02/03/2022 20:40

Just stick headphones in and crank up the volume.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 02/03/2022 20:40

Omg what an absolute set of witches.

Next time head up, tits out and walk on by. You are so much better than them.

And yes please do report to gym manager.

Beamur · 02/03/2022 20:41

Tell the staff. That's really not on.

Torag · 02/03/2022 20:41

Definitely say something.

They sound like complete bitches.

ohhooh · 02/03/2022 20:41

@bullywee

Well I was an a-hole this morning for some reason in the changing room.

Yesterday it was look at that...

Others include how can she be so far if here every day.

Look at her doing squats

Constant staring that is really awkward

I know I should ignore them but it is just such a relief when they don't turn up at weekends.

That's absolutely crap.

Next time - I'd ask them to repeat themselves. Just turn to them and say "what was that you said?" - make them as uncomfortable as they're making you.

BakedTattie · 02/03/2022 20:42

If I heard people in the gym saying things like that about me I’d loudly tell them to shut the fuck up.

Be brave, stick up for yourself. Or tell a member of staff. No bloody need for arsehole folk in the gym getting other folk down

NrlySp · 02/03/2022 20:42

That’s awful. Could you speak to the gym staff. This is unacceptable behavior by them.

BlusteryLake · 02/03/2022 20:43

I would call that insulting you as opposed to making comments. I would have thought their behaviour would be included in the code of conduct. Definitely worth asking.

Flexitarian · 02/03/2022 20:43

Yeah, that’s bullying. Please speak to the manager - it’s really not on and my guess is it’s not just you either.

Then headphones on and sod them.

ladyface69 · 02/03/2022 20:44

Drop a kettlebell on those absolute bitches. You sound strong and fierce!

Allaboutyou222 · 02/03/2022 20:44

If you’re 6ft and 15 stone and you sound super strong then they should t be messing with you!

Seriously Utter bitches. Hate women like that. I would call them out but I’m stroppy! Ignore. Ignore ignore. They are not worthy of your attention.

HufflepuffPride · 02/03/2022 20:44

Gangs of middle aged huns in the gym are the absolute worst in my experience. I posted on here a few weeks ago about the awfulness of a group of women like this in one my fitness classes, like you I’ve been going to this gym for years without any problem.

SoberSerena · 02/03/2022 20:45

That's totally unacceptable and you should report to staff. You don't sound enormous and it shouldn't even matter. You're at the gym fgs. The only thing anyone should be thinking is 'good on her'. I bet you lift well going every day as well and I'm Envy as I'm working on that myself. Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Laiste · 02/03/2022 20:45

If you don't want to confront them yourself (and if you're anything like me i wouldn't trust myself not to lose my rag and run my mouth off and end up being the one chucked out!) then tell the staff.

Tell them exactly what the comments are, don't hint at it, and tell them it's getting you down and making you want to quit. Chances are you're not alone and others have reported or are struggling because of them as well.

Don't let the push you out.

Flowers
fourandnomore · 02/03/2022 20:45

First of all, you can’t be noticeably overweight or anything at that weight and height so they’re obviously just nasty. Definitely tell the staff, you are there every day. They should support their loyal customers. You need to either report their behaviour or think of a response and hold your head up high. You are amazing to be making such a commitment. How awful for you, alternatively yes headphones and carry on, they will get bored eventually, they sound like school kids.

Laiste · 02/03/2022 20:47

@HufflepuffPride

Gangs of middle aged huns in the gym are the absolute worst in my experience. I posted on here a few weeks ago about the awfulness of a group of women like this in one my fitness classes, like you I’ve been going to this gym for years without any problem.
Did you report them Huffle?
EmergencyPoncho · 02/03/2022 20:47

Say something to them. You will be shaking and nervous but you will feel so much better! Something like: oh goodness, thanks for taking such an interest in me! It's hard to think of a comeback at the time but this would be obviously sarcastic yet you're not being rude. And tell the staff. And then drop a weight on one of them Wink

devildeepbluesea · 02/03/2022 20:48

@pangolina

Please go tell the staff. I worked in gyms for a very long time and the staff will not want this sort of thing going on. I promise.
Me too, we would have banned people for less.

But far more effective would be to saunter up to them, all 6’ of you and ask them if they had anything to say to your face.

Cunts. I fucking loathe bullies.

MiddleClassProblem · 02/03/2022 20:48

I’m so sorry they are doing this to you.

I think the options I can think of are:

Ignore them
Confront them
Complain to management
Change gyms

I think it sounds like you will most likely feel most comfortable with the first one. I think you need to tell yourself you are strong. You are there because you are looking after yourself. They are shallow, superficial and basically not good people. You’re a good person. They are not. Give yourself strength in this knowledge to help you ignore them.
As pp said, headphones can help but you will probably will still be conscious of it and notice looks etc.

Just back yourself. Know that you are a better person than they are if that’s their hobby. Surely it must get boring for them at some point?

Although, if you do confront them I hope you drop something like “why are you so obsessed with me?” Because they are, and it’s weird. Even if you were an actual alien, they should get used to you after seeing you everyday… arseholes.