Problem at Gym

[bullywee]

More a WWYD...

Have been going to my local gym for 6 years. I am fat and unfit but can lift heavy weights and religiously go everyday.

I keep myself to myself, and rather than a hello/morning/have a good day to the people I see every day in the changing room keep myself to myself.

Over last 6 weeks or so a group of (middle aged) woman have started attending and frankly they are making my life miserable. Comments when I am on machines, comments in changing rooms, comments when doing free weights/lunges and so on.

They are genuinely making me feel uneasy and I now dread going (I enjoy the gym but not the experience).

I don't want to go to another gym as I like the gym I go to (and it suits me), I don't want to moan to the staff because I will look pathetic, but it is really getting me down.

Sorry it is more of a rant and me getting things off my chest. I have always been big (over 6ft, 15 stone so not enormous) but badly bullied at school and maybe that is why I am so sad that my fun time which I have always enjoyed is being ruined.

I wouldn't wait til they do it again. Complain about them now. They need consequences for their actions.

Next time you overhear them say something just look directly at them and say "I beg your pardon?" in incredulous tones. That will be enough to shut them up, I bet.

Over the ear headphones are good as well as then you genuinely won't hear them and can just completely ignore them.

What the duck OP this is not ok. I teach classes at a gym and absolutely would not stand for this. Please please tell the staff! how pathetic are these women, you are there improving your fitness and that is a brilliant thing.

Please say something to the staff, tell them what’s being said that is so not on. Can you update? I want to know you have sorted it and then nasty cows have got what they deserve! Awful behaviour!!!!

Another person here so agrees you should mention it to the staff, I used to be a personal trainer and my partner works in gym management and the staff would hate for this to be going on, even more so to someone that's been a long term member, they'll have your back completely!

These women sound awful.

Though of course the OP should mention to staff that the group is making inappropriate personal comments in the public spaces, absolutely not on.

I would bloody love to lift with you, OP, I'm 5"8 and 15 stone and lifting is the thing that makes me feel like me.
I'd go over to them and say 'it seems like you have some questions about my program, did you want help with something?'

@bullywee

Thanks everyone, I went to the pool today for a wee change so thankfully didn't see them but you are all right and the next time I have the misfortune so having any comment I am going to talk to the staff.

I went to the pool today for a wee

There was a really unfortunately placed line break in this sentence on my screen!

Complain to the gym manger, otherwise as above headphones and ignore. Pathetic “adults”

I'd tell the staff. It's not moaning it's ensuring an appropriate environment for a paying customer (you). Most gyms do not take kindly to bullying or nastiness from clients.

I honestly think all gyms have them!

I usually only do HIT and weights, I started yoga 3 months ago and the women in the class are awful 😂😂

They kept calling me Kim Kardashian amongst other things and would stand around after the last slagging me off.

Confronted them and asked them if they’d like to say it to my face and they denied it. Told them if it was worth saying and they had weight in any of their comments they’d say it to me and not about me, instead seeking validation from others and they’d make some actually progress if they focused on themselves rather than others.

Hi OP I am sorry this is happening to you. I can never understand why people take the mick out of people who are overweight and exercising.

What I would say is that if you complain to gym staff they may be quite young and not respond adequately so go straight to management. Last year there was an incident of a lady who was bullied by a guy in the swimming pool and when she reported it to the lifeguard they didn't do anything but after sharing it on Twitter she was emboldened to complain higher up and the guy was banned (and I think possibly reported to the police as well). I think there may have been a discussion on here about it too.

*if it was worth saying and they had weight in any of their comments they’d say it to me and not about me, instead seeking validation from others and they’d make some actually progress if they focused on themselves rather than others"

excellent comment!

Poor you, they sound like a pack of manky bitches. Ask them to their face what they are saying, and of course report them, how vile for you.

Do you think you could manage something like "you are far too old to be trying to be playground bullies..grow up"

They will not be there to exercise! It'll be their idea of socialising. My guess is they're there all afternoon or whatever and get very little done and probably wouldn't know how to work half the machines or use a kettlebell. I'm a regular gym user and I cannot imagine making those kind of comments. I would think good for you!
If they comment on your squats maybe you should ask them to show you how they think you could improve! That will shut them up

This is utterly abhorrent! I’m so sorry OP!

Btw if you’ve been going to the gym almost daily for 6 years you ARE fit and healthy. Fat does NOT equal unhealthy and thin certainly doesn’t equal healthy.

I'd mention their specific comments to staff, ask them what the best way is, to deal with it. You might find they warn them, threatening an exclusion if it continues.