Problem at Gym

[bullywee]

More a WWYD...

Have been going to my local gym for 6 years. I am fat and unfit but can lift heavy weights and religiously go everyday.

I keep myself to myself, and rather than a hello/morning/have a good day to the people I see every day in the changing room keep myself to myself.

Over last 6 weeks or so a group of (middle aged) woman have started attending and frankly they are making my life miserable. Comments when I am on machines, comments in changing rooms, comments when doing free weights/lunges and so on.

They are genuinely making me feel uneasy and I now dread going (I enjoy the gym but not the experience).

I don't want to go to another gym as I like the gym I go to (and it suits me), I don't want to moan to the staff because I will look pathetic, but it is really getting me down.

Sorry it is more of a rant and me getting things off my chest. I have always been big (over 6ft, 15 stone so not enormous) but badly bullied at school and maybe that is why I am so sad that my fun time which I have always enjoyed is being ruined.

@ladyface69

Drop a kettlebell on those absolute bitches. You sound strong and fierce!

This Or next time they're in the changing room making comments about you, stroll past and smash one of their faces into a locker/wall on your way out of the door. No cameras in the changing rooms....

Tell the staff. You can email them about it if you feel uncomfortable face to face. There’s video on YouTube on how to become assertive and deal with bullies. I found them helpful when dealing with bullying at work (for the first time in my working adult life) in a care home. I’ve been physically attacked before in the streets but I’m only 5 foot, if I was 6 foot I’d damn well make use of my height to my advantage, with bullying pricks at least. You shouldn’t have to and it’s ridiculous that adults can behave so shit, it’s like some adults are no more than overgrown children, especially when they get together - then it’s the lowest common denominator! Bitchy bullying comments must be what brought this group together, OP! Pity their pathetic behaviour and lives but don’t allow it to ruin your good time, complain to the gym and they will be told to STFU. If they don’t, I would name and shame the gym on Twitter, I can do it for you if you like.

Ah damn it, sorry, forgot paragraphs ☹️

I would absolutely complain!!
I would say you’re thinking of cancelling your membership as you don’t come there to be insulted.

You are fit and probably healthier than many people who are a lower weight than you because you exercise so often.

I would not accept that from grown women.

How many of them are there?

Honestly I would loudly say ‘pardon?’ when they say something and if they repeat it tell them to ‘mind their own business and they can either grow up or go somewhere else’.

Do it when you’re on the main floor so other people including the staff can hear.

I'm a coward and hate confrontation. I would email the gym anonymously and say this group of women (description) have been making unkind comments such as (examples). You don't want to make trouble but you are worried they are upsetting the victim of their barbed remarks.

Nice and clearly, no need to stop what you're doing or even make eye contact/turn your head, just say "I can hear you y'know. Perhaps try and be subtle when you're bitching about people"

I cannot stand the mentality of ‘women’ like this. If you don’t feel empowered to call them out on their shitty behaviour by confronting them, is this a good time to get a few words printed on a t-shirt? Subtle but effective and I’m sure others will have lots of ideas!!

Failing that, definitely report to management, the gym should be a positive environment for you to train and work out without being subjected to this sort of behaviour!

Oh my good that is TOTALLY unacceptable behaviour. You can not accept this. You must report them to the gym as this is outright bullying. Are these people children? Oh wait, even children don't behave like this!!

This has given me the rage actually.

Tell the staff, you pay your fees just like they do and its no different to being insulted anywhere else. They are bullies, pure and simple and old enough to know better. I am properly chubby and 6 inches shorter than you OP. Years ago I used to be mortified by people's comments , which for some reason they felt the need to make along with some really scathing looks. However once I realised that they are really the ones with the problem I started to answer them back. I would go up to them and say something along the lines of "well there's nothing wrong with your eyesight is there ". They hated being confronted, especially if I added "shame about your personality"

Next time something is said you should swing round, gaze at something behind them, sigh loudly, then say really loudly ‘ this place used to be great until a bunch of bitches turned up whining’. Then shake your head and go oops did I just say that out loud? Never mind. Then carry in with what you were doing 😂

I wouldn’t complain to the staff.

But I would bloody tell them what I think!

If they say ‘oh look at her doing squats’, ask them if they could do a demo maybe.

Starting at you, ask them if they have any issue.

Just be assertive and make it clear that their behaviour/comments aren’t ok. They are being bitches and back to a playground. You don’t have to just accept it.

Good for you for going and doing weights. There was a programme a few years ago about muscle wastage in old age - I'm 64 - and weight training is the one exercise that helps you maintain your muscle.

Next time these people are rude get your phone out and film them, and show the manager.

Please don't let these bullies stop you doing something you love. Tell the staff.

You say very loudly to them shut the fuck up you piece of shit!they will get the message. I can't stand people who try and belittle others. Some people are just rotten to the core.

I’d gather that if they are so busy talking about you, they are probably not doing much exercise either.

I’d basically tell them to go back to actually DO something rather than talking. Much more efficient use of their time at the gym

Ugh. I hate people like this, I just borrow from Romesh Ranganathan (sp?) and say “Wow! Your life peaked in year 9 didn’t it?!” I’d bet my house they’re the kind to put “be kind” all over their social media too 🙄.

This is absolutely disgusting, and beyond pathetic behaviour from grown adults. Shame on them. How anyone feels they have a right to be such arseholes is beyond me.

Please report them. They're bullies, and no one should ever be made to feel the way you do. I'm sorry this is happening you. But honestly, report them. It's already awkward, they're already ruining your expertise, so now you may as well make sure the gym are aware these horrible nasty people are in their gym. Chances are they're saying the same about other people, judgemental twats!

I'd be tempted to tell them if they keep upsetting me I'm going to lose concentration and drop a kettlebell on their toes.

I'd confront the bunch of bastards and suggest 'who wants to go first' ? 'As I'm fucked if I'm taking any more of your shit!'

Definitely tell the staff. It's not snitching or being ridiculous, but about unacceptable behaviour by other clients.

They are horrid. You sound like you don’t like confrontation so I would notify staff. I would ask them to keep an eye open. It would be great if you wanted to speak to them directly. If you could reply in a factual agreement style it doesn’t give them anywhere to go - I am this size and come everyday that is true but am not sure why you want to comment on that. Oh you don’t like how I look but I don’t see why you want to tell me. I might say then that they are being unkind and repeat every time looking nonplussed until they give up. I would then get staff if they carry on - they will ban them. But it’s not your job to police them so if it’s not your style just report every time - that is your space.

OP - that's horrible and I'm sorry they're being awful to you, especially when you're trying to do something to keep your weight down.

You should definitely complain. Keep it factual and to the point.

Which area do you live? I wonder if there's a nice mumsnetter that can come and bolster you?

They are so out of order. Gyms are supposed to be safe places. I remember the insta hun a few years ago who lost a huge amount of money and followers for similar behaviour. Is there anyway you could surreptitiously record them so you can show management what has been happening?

@PaddleBoardingMomma

Fuck that! You are a legend, showing up every day and lifting heavy weights? GO YOU! They sound like utter wankers, I'd be appalled if I heard someone speaking to someone else at the gym that way and all 5'4 of me would be in their faces telling them what vile pathetic bullies they are!

Please please please say something to a member of staff, they will have your back if they are worth their salt ❤️

(I'm also so disappointed that women are talking about another woman that way, especially in a space that's to better ourselves, they're gross and I hope they all get significant injuries from misusing the machines and recurrent yeast infections for life)

Now that's what I call a curse, I feel like we should gather under the next full moon and chant to bring on the yeast infections💥