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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Problem at Gym

195 replies

bullywee · 02/03/2022 20:34

More a WWYD...

Have been going to my local gym for 6 years. I am fat and unfit but can lift heavy weights and religiously go everyday.

I keep myself to myself, and rather than a hello/morning/have a good day to the people I see every day in the changing room keep myself to myself.

Over last 6 weeks or so a group of (middle aged) woman have started attending and frankly they are making my life miserable. Comments when I am on machines, comments in changing rooms, comments when doing free weights/lunges and so on.

They are genuinely making me feel uneasy and I now dread going (I enjoy the gym but not the experience).

I don't want to go to another gym as I like the gym I go to (and it suits me), I don't want to moan to the staff because I will look pathetic, but it is really getting me down. Sad

Sorry it is more of a rant and me getting things off my chest. I have always been big (over 6ft, 15 stone so not enormous) but badly bullied at school and maybe that is why I am so sad that my fun time which I have always enjoyed is being ruined.

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 02/03/2022 20:50

Nice and loud
"I've heard you all making nasty comments about me for the last week, this is me telling you nicely to pack it in. Have you never heard of, if you having nothing nice to say then say nothing!"
Steely gaze!

hauntedbillybass · 02/03/2022 20:50

Chin the leader. Grin

Original poster
bullywee · 02/03/2022 20:50

You are all right - I should complain but I just don't want to make things awkward and turn up and go home without this nonsense.

Thanks - I thought I was maybe taking things out of proportion and being touchy.

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 02/03/2022 20:50

They're the ones making it awkward!

XenoBitch · 02/03/2022 20:51

Ugh, people go to the gym to get strong... and strong people pull each other up, not pull them down. They sound like awful people that don't have much going on in their lives.

Report it to the staff. It is unacceptable behaviour, and if you are hearing what they are saying then they are wanting you to hear their awful remarks, which is bullying.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 02/03/2022 20:52

Oh OP, that's horrible. What a bunch of bitches. Definitely report them. They should be past all that shit by now.

Try not to let them spoil your gym. Can you think of some snappy comebacks for them?

ktjb39 · 02/03/2022 20:52

How awful these women are I'm sorry you have experienced this - I would ignore them and it's likely that the novelty of the gym will wear off for them and they will stop going anyway. People like you who go regularly really couldn't care less what anyone else is doing.

BIWI · 02/03/2022 20:53

Why should @bullywee change gyms though, @MiddleClassProblem?!

MiddleClassProblem · 02/03/2022 20:54

@BIWI

Why should *@bullywee change gyms though, @MiddleClassProblem*?!
I don’t think they should…
PaddleBoardingMomma · 02/03/2022 20:54

Fuck that! You are a legend, showing up every day and lifting heavy weights? GO YOU! They sound like utter wankers, I'd be appalled if I heard someone speaking to someone else at the gym that way and all 5'4 of me would be in their faces telling them what vile pathetic bullies they are!

Please please please say something to a member of staff, they will have your back if they are worth their salt ❤️

(I'm also so disappointed that women are talking about another woman that way, especially in a space that's to better ourselves, they're gross and I hope they all get significant injuries from misusing the machines and recurrent yeast infections for life)

Laiste · 02/03/2022 20:55

''I just don't want to make things awkward''

Things are already awkward OP. That ship has sailed. (not your fault obvs, but still true)

You need to deal with it and get everything back the way you like it.

That's what i have to tell myself when i'm avoiding dealing with something.

ScribblingPixie · 02/03/2022 20:55

I think you should definitely report this behaviour to the management, and repeat the remarks verbatim. That's abusive behaviour and I doubt you're the only person on the receiving end.

Clarinet1 · 02/03/2022 20:57

You could talk to the management - they won’t want a long-standing user like you getting put off by probable
five-minute wonders! Or turn to them and power-lift one with each hand!

Bellyups · 02/03/2022 20:58

What a disgusting bunch of bitches they are Angry

Honestly, if nothing is done, they will continue. Especially as they are a group.

I really would do as pp suggested and next time they say something turn full on infront of them, take a step and say ‘what was that?’

I bet you they stop insulting you then. And if not, please speak to and employee. You are a loyal customer, they won’t allow this behaviour

pradavilla · 02/03/2022 20:59

That is so mean and ridiculous.

I wld really struggle not to say anything. Even a sorry are you talking about me? They will no doubt go bright red and say no, no. Don't let them away with it.

You absolutely should report it to staff though. Maybe at the wkend when they aren't in but then might be hard to describe who they are. Maybe mention it to a member of staff or ask for the manager when you arrive. Tell them what's been going on and it making u consider looking for a new gym. If/when after that it happens go straight to the management and point them out.

Hope they all get banned.

Hope90x · 02/03/2022 21:06

That's really terrible OP, I'm sure it makes you feel very self conscious.

Honestly, my approach would be to walk towards them and simply say "I come here for some me time and because it helps me wind down.... Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to hear you talk about me the way you do? I just wondered if there was any reason for it?'

They should be utterly mortified

LemonViolets · 02/03/2022 21:06

My gym would take a very dim view of that kind of behaviour, they have posters up that say they have a zero tolerance policy for bullying and harassment and ask people to report any incidents to members of staff.

Please report them.

Dixiechickonhols · 02/03/2022 21:06

Gosh they sound horrific. You could speak to manager and say exactly what put here you like coming daily but are uncomfortable. You’d prefer not to move gym but a group are being rude and give examples. Do it by email if you prefer. Or practice a couple of phrases and the next time one says something undeniably vile confront her calmly but loud enough - repeat phrase back to her. Nasty bullies.

whateverisabeartodo · 02/03/2022 21:09

I'm so sorry, OP. This is bloody awful. The gym is absolutely my safe, happy place and I'd be devastated if this was happening.

100% complain, how dare they. I would imagine the gym contract includes something about being respectful to other users, no way ever should this be allowed to happen.

DomPom47 · 02/03/2022 21:11

They’re arseholes - you must ignore them.
Get yourself some headphones so you can drown out their shite. Keep doing what you are doing, they sound pathetic!

Dixiechickonhols · 02/03/2022 21:12

Other approach is to call them out if they are staring eg call over are you waiting for this machine - no- oh it’s just you were staring. Would you like me to explain my technique - no? - oh it’s just you were staring at me. If you do it a few times they’ll hopefully get message.

RJnomore1 · 02/03/2022 21:12

I wish you lived near me, I’d love to go lifts weights with you.

Libertybear80 · 02/03/2022 21:12

That's bullying and harassment. Go and report to the manager.

LottyD32 · 02/03/2022 21:12

@bullywee

You are all right - I should complain but I just don't want to make things awkward and turn up and go home without this nonsense.

Thanks - I thought I was maybe taking things out of proportion and being touchy.

It's already awkward for you, and they don't give a toss. Why not make it awkward for them too Confused
RobynMyEmployer · 02/03/2022 21:17

"Go and iron your face, you old bag." See what they say to that. 😂