Was I wrong to send him in like this?

[Longcovid21]

Reality check needed.
Ds 10 had massive holes in his trainers which appeared out of nowhere. A few days ago I saw a sale on the vans website and so took the opportunity to buy him some nice new shoes. They look like this.
www.schuh.co.uk/kids/junior-vans-old-skool-metallic-flame-black-and-silver-trainers/2662457850/

He hates them. He says they are too showy and was crying that he wanted to wear the trainers with holes in instead. Usually I let him choose his own shoes but on this occasion I just spotted a bargain.

Was I being unreasonable to basically make him wear the shoes and tell him that if he wore shoes with holes in school may contact social services for neglect (I was feeling desperate).

He was in tears. It was stressful all around.
I need a reality check about whether I was BU to push it? Normally he has his own way but I just couldn't send him in in bad holey shoes.

Tricky. I think he has a fair point as they don't really look like school shoes to me. I think best to let him choose next time. Sorry!

Honestly, I think for £37, you could have found a pair that you were both happy with. He's 10, he'll be aware of what his peers wear and may worry about teasing.
I think I'd have returned them and taken him to Sports Direct after school to pick a pair.

Not unreasonable to send him in in shoes without holes, but they’re not really school shoes are they?

Honestly yes I do think you've misjudged this one. I'm all for a bargain, but I remember the horror myself at that age of my parents doing similar. You've sent him off ashamed, and no doubt he will be told to suck it up and wear them out.

Holes don't appear overnight. They would have lasted another day or so and you could have found something plainer in that time.

I feel quote sorry for him tbh

Sorry yabu.
Hes 10. They are his day to day shoes, so its not a bargain if he hates them.

God they're ugly shoes.
Take him to a shop and buy some - he sounds like he'll be happy with non-branded.

How are those shoes allowed at school anyway?

Surely they wouldn’t be allowed to wear those for school?

At that age I wouldn’t chose something S important as trainers without asking them. Even in primary they like to follow what their friends have. Even if it’s a brand name it doesn’t mean they are acceptable to them.

They're not a bargain as he doesn't want to wear them. It's like your partner buying a sofa you hate but as it was half price it's a bargain? They don't look like school shoes to me. I imagine he'll feel embarrassed as people will tease him for trying too hard.

Lawks, those are a bit jazzy for school!
Poor lad.

I think at this age he should have a say and I understand his point poor lad, they were not a bargain as they are awful.

He's got a point. Wearing them for one day is not a huge deal, but are you planning on buying him some decent trainers or is he going to be forced to wear these from now on?

Are these trainers for PE?

Vans are skater shoes but now mainly worn for fashion. They are heavy. They are not designed for running around and sports.

I think your DS is right to complain if he doesn't like the look of them. Why didn't you run them by him first?

What would you do if your DP bought you shoes without checking if you liked them first, and you didn't? You wouldn't wear them would you...

@YellowHpok

Honestly yes I do think you've misjudged this one. I'm all for a bargain, but I remember the horror myself at that age of my parents doing similar. You've sent him off ashamed, and no doubt he will be told to suck it up and wear them out.

Holes don't appear overnight. They would have lasted another day or so and you could have found something plainer in that time.

I feel quote sorry for him tbh

This.

Not school shoes anyway.

They're not school shoes, don't see the harm in sending him in for another few days in the holey shoes., if you've only just noticed them.
At least you could have sent the new shoes back and got a refund, if they were unworn, now you're stuck with a pair of shoes that he doesn't like.

Depends where you are. Not an issue at my DCs' schools but we're in Scotland where the rules aren't so strict. However, if he doesn't like them he won't wear them. La redoute is good for cheapish shoes.

@YellowHpok

Honestly yes I do think you've misjudged this one. I'm all for a bargain, but I remember the horror myself at that age of my parents doing similar. You've sent him off ashamed, and no doubt he will be told to suck it up and wear them out.

Holes don't appear overnight. They would have lasted another day or so and you could have found something plainer in that time.

I feel quote sorry for him tbh

I feel sorry for him too.

Holes don't appear overnight
No they appeared one day.

They weren't £37 BTW that's not the sale price.

I guess I will be forced to get some shitty sweat shop trainers from sports direct then. Gosh you lot are conservative 😊. But point taken. No one likes them.

My school would say they were not school shoes sorry op xx

Vans are bloody uncomfortable and my dd insists on wearing hers but then complains as her feet are then covered in blisters.

I quite like the look of those though. And that's probably why a 10 year old hates them!

Also, how on earth does he get away with wearing them at school? Most have no trainers and no details policies.

I’m mid 40’s and still remember the burning shame of going to school in unsuitable footwear, but that was because we were poor and DM couldn’t afford to buy something better.

For that price you could have bought a nice simple pair. You should have returned those and got something different. Poor boy.

He needs to have input into the kind of shoes he wants to wear. They are quite an extreme look for school and I can see why he would be reluctant to wear them. At that age they just want to wear what their mates are wearing.

Get a good permanent marker and colour out the silver.

Yeah I feel sorry for him too.