Was I wrong to send him in like this?

[Longcovid21]

Reality check needed.
Ds 10 had massive holes in his trainers which appeared out of nowhere. A few days ago I saw a sale on the vans website and so took the opportunity to buy him some nice new shoes. They look like this.
www.schuh.co.uk/kids/junior-vans-old-skool-metallic-flame-black-and-silver-trainers/2662457850/

He hates them. He says they are too showy and was crying that he wanted to wear the trainers with holes in instead. Usually I let him choose his own shoes but on this occasion I just spotted a bargain.

Was I being unreasonable to basically make him wear the shoes and tell him that if he wore shoes with holes in school may contact social services for neglect (I was feeling desperate).

He was in tears. It was stressful all around.
I need a reality check about whether I was BU to push it? Normally he has his own way but I just couldn't send him in in bad holey shoes.

I'm surprised they're even allowed to wear trainers as a school shoe?! They are definitely NOT a school shoe.

I remember my mum making me wear stuff I hated and was embarrassed about at that age. It caused real anxiety. I know it shouldn't, but unfortunately it really matters what your peers think when you're that age.

I can see why your DS didn't want to wear them. I'd bet they've received some attention at school for the wrong reasons.

If you can afford to, get him some he likes. If you can't afford to then try improving them with the sharpie and black laces suggestion.

Don't mean to upset you op, but even when I was at school I think someone would be bullied for those shoes. At that age you're starting to want to "fit in" with the crowd or develop your own style and those shoes are not cool in the slightest these days.

You've essentially sent your son into school to face a barrage of teasing and taunting about his footwear. I would have let him wear the worn out trainers then taken him shopping after school to buy some trainers he likes.

Nope he didn't have any back up shoes sorry, except for football boots. Yes he usually chooses his own shoes.
Wow, did not expect people to get so worked up about this!

You could have bought nicer, cheaper more appropriate shoes from a supermarket, they are not a bargain if he hates them and will never wear them.

There's a reason those were in the sale op.

@Longcovid21

Holes don't appear overnight No they appeared one day.

They weren't £37 BTW that's not the sale price.

I guess I will be forced to get some shitty sweat shop trainers from sports direct then. Gosh you lot are conservative 😊. But point taken. No one likes them.

I think Vans will be made in exactly the same sweat shops as shitty trainer.

So does he wear his school shoes all the time, evenings, weekends?

I love them…they’re fab. BUT neither of my sons would have entertained these at 10 and I wouldn’t have forced them to. Making kids wear stuff they don’t like is a war I’m simply not prepared to wage. There’s loads of choice, they know what’s ‘in’ or what appeals to them personally. Go with that.

I’m surprised he’s allowed to wear trainers like that to school! But yeah they are a bit much and I think it was mean to make him wear them when he was so upset about it. You wouldn’t like to be made to wear something ugly would you?

You've sent your son to school in a pair of Vans poor kid.

He only has 2 pairs of shoes in total? There was literally no other option? I do enjoy it when people ask AIBU and when told yes they cant accept it gracefully

Sorry those shoes are awful!
Especially for a 10year old. I can see why he’d rather wear ripped ones

OP they can't be his only other shoes surely, they're not even waterproof. It's cold and rainy here today, he'd have wet feet all day. Poor kid.

Not only are they ugly...as a teacher I can say that they would not be allowed in any school I've ever worked nor would I make my own DC wear them

Those are not school shoes.
The other ‘shoes’ with holes in were not school shoes either.
Is your school non uniform?
I’m fixated on this because they would not be allowed in the school I’m in, they are trainers.

Add a bit of petrol and a match, and they'll look fine

It's not a case of being conservative or not liking them it's feeling sorry for the poor kid wanting to fit in rather than maybe being pointed and laughed at because his mum didn't think about his feelings when bagging a bargain.

Just in case it's of interest, Vans sustainability rating is pretty shit so you won't be saving any rainforest or orang-utans by choosing those over a pair from Sports Direct.

He only has 2 pairs of shoes in total? There was literally no other option?

Yes correct. Sorry we are not as rich as you.

@Longcovid21

Nope he didn't have any back up shoes sorry, except for football boots. Yes he usually chooses his own shoes. Wow, did not expect people to get so worked up about this!

But you allowed your son to get worked up and upset even using the threat of social services.

If you don't want people to get worked up about something then don't post on MN

I don't really see anything wrong with them. His old shoes weren't fit for wearing, those shoes were. So tough. He has to wear them till he can choose a new pair. For one day I'm sure he'll cope.

I might have strange kids because they've never been fussed by what they wear so happily let me choose clothes and shoes for them.

The lack of imagination on this thread is something else!

Just because your kids have to wear formal ‘school shoes’ to school doesn’t mean all kids do. There are lots of schools across the country that have no uniform or even just no restrictions on shoes. It really isn’t that unusual

I quite like them OP.

But there is no way I’d buy shoes for a 10 year old without letting them choose them. I wouldn’t want someone to choose my shoes for me either.

My DS (12) is ridiculously picky about trainers. Trainers seem to matter a lot to boys these days.