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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who’s in the wrong? Unsociable or sociable?

541 replies

ShittyFingers · 02/03/2022 08:26

Person A is pretty unsociable. She gets on the bus and looks forward to time alone to sit and think/daydream during her 1 hour journey.

Person B is sociable and looks forward the her 1 hour journey to chat.

Bus has lots of empty seats. Person B decides to sit next to Person A and try to strike up conversation. Person A is polite but makes it obvious she doesn’t want to talk. Person B is a little offended and thinks Person A is a miserable sod. After a few more attempts to make light conversation, person A moves seats. Person B now very upset and this plays on her mind all day.

Let’s say Covid isn’t a thing.

Who is unreasonable?

YABU - person A could have made more effort, it wouldn’t have killed her to chat

YANBU - person Bs wish to socialise doesn’t trump person A’s wish to not socialise

OP posts:
Mybestyear · 02/03/2022 08:28

I really hate it when people try to make conversation on the bus!!! It’s so awkward and forced - I call it “hospital visiting chat”. I deliberately go to a different bus stop now to get on after the man who lives 2 streets up constantly tries to engage me in totally banal conversation.

Movingonup22 · 02/03/2022 08:29

Person B is an annoying pain the neck who should leave other people well alone

HelenWick · 02/03/2022 08:29

What is the relationship between A and B? Do they know each other? How well? If B is A's child/parent it is very different to if they are a stranger or colleague they barely know....

MaryAndHerNet · 02/03/2022 08:30

Some people try to talk to me.
If pushed, I will tell them to fuck off.

Everyone has a right to peaceful enjoyment of their surroundings. If it's a choice between me getting upset by a butter inner, or me upsetting the butter inner, I'm choosing to upset them.

Never.. EVER..be worried about hurting the feelings of someone who doesn't care if they hurt yours..

Georgeskitchen · 02/03/2022 08:30

Do they actually know each other?

GeodesicDome · 02/03/2022 08:30

Person B is a massive pain in the arse.

AlisonDonut · 02/03/2022 08:30

Person B. Honestly, you aren't that interesting to everyone else. Just drop it.

angelopal · 02/03/2022 08:31

Do they know each other or are they strangers? I am sociable but alwould enjoy peace and quiet in this scenario.

If it was someone I knew would make an effort. But if it was a stranger then I would not want to have to talk to them for an hour. Don't mind a few minutes at a bus stop etc but an hour would be hard going.

Original poster
ShittyFingers · 02/03/2022 08:32

They’re strangers although do recognise each other as regulars on the bus. Person B normally manages to find someone to chat with but on this occasion she picked the wrong person

OP posts:
MaryAndHerNet · 02/03/2022 08:32

And if they know each other, that's worse, B should know that A prefers peace and quiet and make a point of leaving them the fuck alone.

Butchyrestingface · 02/03/2022 08:32

I'm person A, but without further information, I don't know that I would have actively moved seats if this was a one-off occurrence.

Do person A and person B know each other?
Is person B male or female?

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 02/03/2022 08:33

How do you know how person B felt all day?

Original poster
ShittyFingers · 02/03/2022 08:33

They’re both female

OP posts:
willingtolearn · 02/03/2022 08:33

Person B needs to put their bags on the seat next to them to prevent Person A from sitting down. (or sit on the aisle seat even temporarily when they get on)

willingtolearn · 02/03/2022 08:35

Errr scrap that - Person A needs to make sure Person B can't sit next to them (you do state empty bus seats)

MichelleScarn · 02/03/2022 08:35

How on earth people like B can have the arrogance to think they can dictate how another person spends their time astounds me! 'I want to talk at you so I will, take part!'

underneaththeash · 02/03/2022 08:36

I'm quite sociable, but I wouldn't want some random gabbing at me first thing in the morning on the bus!

EnjoyingTheSilence · 02/03/2022 08:37

Person B is incredibly rude and arrogant

PuppyMonkey · 02/03/2022 08:37

I’m the sort of person who will accidentally on purpose have to crouch down and pretend to pick something off the floor on buses so I can hide if I spot anyone I know - even if it’s someone I like. I have no idea why, it’s just my instinct.Grin

Helendee · 02/03/2022 08:38

If I were person A I would get an earlier or later bus.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 02/03/2022 08:38

Person B needs headphones or a book. Person A's choice not to be chatty trumps person B's desire to talk. Person B should leave others alone if they don't want to talk.

Butchyrestingface · 02/03/2022 08:41

If you are person A, you can't know what person B is thinking. And vice versa.

If you're neither, same as above.

You write as if you have a bird's eye view on this situation, which is a bit confusing.

Either way, person B will get over it, and hopefully learn to read the signs a bit better in future.

Mamamamasaurus · 02/03/2022 08:41

I'm person A

Person B should have gotten the message by now and leave A alone

Notthisonemummy · 02/03/2022 08:42

Person B is definitely unreasonable here. Especially if they don't know the ins and outs of person A's life; it may well be the only chance she gets for some peace and guilt free sitting.

CremeEggThief · 02/03/2022 08:42

I'm more like Person A, but I do feel a bit for Person B in this situation too!