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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Outed on mumsnet?

192 replies

notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 16:52

I was, about a year ago I name changed, put up a post regarding a situation I was going through with my best friend at the time, it was very specific and I included exact texts that were sent back and forth (stupid in hindsight).

A couple days later she came round to my house, she looked very upset, I invited her in and she said 'Well I've seen your mumsnet post'. She was really hurt about what was written, I was really upset that she had went searching for the post (she knew I was being off with her so searched mumsnet knowing I use AIBU a lot). We ended our friendship that day.

We made up a few weeks later and laugh about it now but boy have I learnt my lesson. She showed her husband and her mum and her sister what I wrote and I was so embarrassed seeing them again. But luckily it got all our issues out on the table and we are better than ever.

Anyone else been outed on mumsnet?

OP posts:

Original poster

notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 17:06

OP posts:

Prettynails · 27/02/2022 17:09

My best friend told me about a wonderful forum called mumsnet - I acted confused 🤔 she then showed me the current thread she was posting on and her user name - I have never ever said I’m on here and I deliberately do not read her posts on threads now that I know her user name 👍

CassandrasCastle · 27/02/2022 17:10

Yes...it was actually a catalyst for my divorce, led to me being disciplined by the frankly horrible church I was in, then ultimately leaving it. They had my thread printed out as evidence of my sin of adultery...

frustratedcroissant1 · 27/02/2022 17:12

I didn't get caught by the person it was about but one of my first posts was about a very specific incident and the daily mail picked it up. MN took down the post for me but the DM refused to delete their article.

I've now learned to change details!

BlackberrySky · 27/02/2022 17:12

Someone who posted about a drag queen at a primary school on here has just outed herself on my local Nextdoor by posting it there too!

Boshkaba · 27/02/2022 17:12

Yes a colleague mentioned she was posting on here about a a specific problem with weaning and I realised I’d read the post so knew who she was.

Also found all her posts IN THE SAME USERNAME moaning about our job/saying she fancied our married manager/sex was infrequent in her marriage//etc etc

Billlius · 27/02/2022 17:12

Yes, I was outed by someone phishing for a story and it was jeffing horrible (under a different NC).

ThymePoultice · 27/02/2022 17:14

Won’t it happen again with this thread?

newbiename · 27/02/2022 17:14

Now you could be outed again 😳

CassandrasCastle · 27/02/2022 17:14

I remember the minister telling me that I shouldn't listen to 'those harridans on Mumsnet'

Thereisnolight · 27/02/2022 17:18

@Prettynails

Oh God, I’d have to!!

Original poster

notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 17:21

@ThymePoultice

Won’t it happen again with this thread?

I've name changed and will change back

OP posts:

miltonj · 27/02/2022 17:22

@CassandrasCastle

Omg. This is truly shocking!

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 27/02/2022 17:23

No I haven't, but I feel for the people who's threads end up in the mirror/sun/daily mail, who come on here looking for stories, especially the ones where the poster could be in potential danger, and really need help.

sadpapercourtesan · 27/02/2022 17:24

Yeah, I posted for support about my son's MH difficulties/the shocking stuff that had happened to him at school. Some daft woman (I do know who, but we were never friends) recognised some of the details (they weren't enough to identify the school to an outsider, but I'd mentioned the mock exam schedule and her DC is in the same year) and tattled to the school.

I had meetings with the Head/Deputy several times a week at that point anyway, so the Head delicately brought it up during the next one. His position was that it was absolutely none of his business, and his wife was also a MNer

Not quite the denouement Mrs Playground-Gossip was hoping for.

sadpapercourtesan · 27/02/2022 17:25

What it's shown me is that I don't actually give a monkeys about being "outed". I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed of my posts, so it's not an issue for me.

Original poster

notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 17:26

@YouCantTourniquetTheTaint

One of mine made it into the sun. It was about whether it was too young to leave a child in the house whilst you popped to the shop at age 8...not too big of a deal. But yes, like you I feel sorry for those people and I don't think it should be allowed.

OP posts:

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 27/02/2022 17:27

I haven't been outed but I know my DMum is on here and I know her user name but she's hardly ever on MN so I'm not overly worried about her spotting me

Associatepeggy · 27/02/2022 17:31

Twice. Once when I posted about my friends suicide wheb I was struggling. Someone recognised the story and made some awful comment about what 'a mess' she was.

And then once by exh. He searched MN for any threads. And instead of reading it and understanding the issues we were having kicked off about me making a fool of him in front of you all. As though you all know him. I also mentioned that he hated my boss, for being a man and pointed out that there was nothing between me and my boss, never had been (which there hadn't we didn't even speak outside work) and he threatened to start a thread here telling 'all of mn what a liar you are'.

I left him 4 weeks later. Turned out he was tracking my phone via my laptop. He had linked the 2 without me knowing.

hetoldmewhat · 27/02/2022 17:33

I haven't been outed but my sister is on here and I recognised her posts so now know her username. Luckily for her she doesn't post anything interested

Outedonhere · 27/02/2022 17:35

Yes. A former colleague. She would always make a beeline for me and deliberately argue with me

I had, stupidly, let her set up an account for me (mid 2000s).

It was only when she called me over to show me something online, but hadn't closed the browser, that I realised it was her! She used to really come after me in her posts, too.

We always got on so well at work... Or, so I thought! So, I guess it was her who was outed, in that sense.

IsThisAkissingBook · 27/02/2022 17:39

Yes but I shared my instagram shortly after.

PinkForgetMeNot · 27/02/2022 17:39

A couple of times I've thought of starting a thread about anti social neighbour behaviour or a parking thread but have stopped myself in case they read it. I know one side is a mumsnetter

Onlyforcake · 27/02/2022 17:40

I often think it'd be great if my mum recognised herself and became nicer towards me. But she's never going to be that interested.

DuchessofAnkh1 · 27/02/2022 17:41

A friend of mine was outed and she was reported to social services as she had posted about drinking and taking coke and being too unwell and hungover to look after her kids....I had recognised her (it wasn't me though that reported her - although frankly she deserved it!) so not surprised others recognised her too.

on a completely different note, I used to spot Katie Price and Caitlin Moran on here a lot back in the day....it was the writing style you could spot. Don't think either post anymore.

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