Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Outed on mumsnet?

192 replies

notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 16:52

I was, about a year ago I name changed, put up a post regarding a situation I was going through with my best friend at the time, it was very specific and I included exact texts that were sent back and forth (stupid in hindsight).

A couple days later she came round to my house, she looked very upset, I invited her in and she said 'Well I've seen your mumsnet post'. She was really hurt about what was written, I was really upset that she had went searching for the post (she knew I was being off with her so searched mumsnet knowing I use AIBU a lot). We ended our friendship that day.

We made up a few weeks later and laugh about it now but boy have I learnt my lesson. She showed her husband and her mum and her sister what I wrote and I was so embarrassed seeing them again. But luckily it got all our issues out on the table and we are better than ever.

Anyone else been outed on mumsnet?

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 27/02/2022 17:43

Not on this site but another parenting site. I posted looking for advice about a person in my friendship group, and midway through the online discussion, someone else must have added 2 + 2, pointed this person to my thread and the person I was looking for advise on read it. So two people irl must have known about my thread actually. It ended my friendship. Had I actually had someone to discuss it with in real life, I probably wouldn't have posted looking for advice on what I thought was an anonymous parenting website.

harriethoyle · 27/02/2022 17:44

I was recognised by a post and had the loveliest dm from the recogniser. It was really supportive and kind and cheered me up at a very difficult time.

Fernandina · 27/02/2022 17:50

I have no idea whether anyone has ever realised who I am on here, but since I namechange about once a month and rarely start threads, I don't care really.

ffscovid · 27/02/2022 17:51

@frustratedcroissant1

I didn't get caught by the person it was about but one of my first posts was about a very specific incident and the daily mail picked it up. MN took down the post for me but the DM refused to delete their article.

I've now learned to change details!

This happened to me too. It related to a photo I'd taken of something I'd seen in a shop and shown a friend (on my phone) before I posted on here about the same thing. A few days later, said friend text me and sent me a link to the DM article and said that someone else had seen the thing in the shop (a national chain). I hoped that friend hadn't realised that it was actually my photo in the DM and that she hadn't thoroughly read the article to see that my MN username had been quoted also. I'm not sure if my friend uses MN so it may not have been as outing as I feared but if she did, a quick search of my username would have no doubt confirmed it was me based on other things I'd posted about over the years.
RedRobin100 · 27/02/2022 17:59

I knew my friend was on here and figured out her username just by chance - recognising some personal details she had posted in responses.

Don’t think shes really on any more however.

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 27/02/2022 18:03

I posted a thread about something and then my dp made me retell the story to his family, few months later I twigged sis in law was on here and thought yep she knows I am too now 😆

thepeopleversuswork · 27/02/2022 18:05

Yes, by a friend who recognised a situation I had described. Nothing too awful but a bit of a wake up call to be careful what you post.

Original poster
notaregularmomes · 27/02/2022 18:06

It's like some sort of secret club isn't it?

OP posts:
Enko · 27/02/2022 18:07

I am really open about my posting here and share my username I don't write anything I don't want people to know in real

heyitsthistle · 27/02/2022 18:08

I once used a username that could be linked back to my (now private and defunct) twitter account.

I also change specifics, like using DP instead of DH or BIL rather than sister, just to be a little more undetectable 👀

Daisy38 · 27/02/2022 18:12

I recognised a friend once as she posted something quite specific about me. I don’t know if she knows I use MN but it certainly would make me think twice about posting anything too specific.

Grilledaubergines · 27/02/2022 18:13

There’s no way I’d tell anyone I know I was on here but every now and again a friend will use a fairly MN specific phrase and I think “you’re one!”

Planetmuff · 27/02/2022 18:15

My sister showed me a funny thread she had read on here and I was the OP.
Neither of us knew the other was on MN.
I showed huge restraint and never told her it was me Grin

whynotwhatknot · 27/02/2022 18:19

No but this place isnt anonymous-you can change details as much as you like but its a public forum and the media are always on the hunt for a new story

Terfydactyl · 27/02/2022 18:20

@CassandrasCastle

I remember the minister telling me that I shouldn't listen to 'those harridans on Mumsnet' Grin
We ain't no harridans, we is very proud vipers. Hope you told the minister where to get off.
Keepyourheadscrewedon · 27/02/2022 18:22

Yes! Name change obv now. I was okay about it, it worked out for me, as friends actually apologised and understood what had happened was hurtful. I don't mind being outed, as I am honest about the facts and don't tend to get offensive.

Keepyourheadscrewedon · 27/02/2022 18:23

LOVE the word Harridan!!!

So cool - I am totally up for Harridanet Grin

ChampionOfTheSun · 27/02/2022 18:23

I recognised someone I worked with on their line eyes thread. They'd used a very outing nickname so it wasn't overly difficult 🙈I did let them know vaguely that I was on here and that some of our other colleagues also are and I believe they name changed after that.

Sswhinesthebest · 27/02/2022 18:30

Yep recognised a friend from specific details she’d posted, then later found out she’d already recognised me too.

CassandrasCastle · 27/02/2022 18:31

I sadly never told the minister face to face where to go... But at least I'm out and happy! I still think I win the thread 🤣 with Mumsnet actually directly leading to my divorce (BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED 🥳)

I used to feel weirdly angry at the woman who identified me and reported it, but now...I could kiss her

Beseen22 · 27/02/2022 18:32

I knew a guy and discovered him on reddit when he shared a photo of his wife and it became pretty popular. Obviously I had a nosy at his posts and I kind of wish I hadn't. Everyone thought he was the nicest guy but I knew that he was up to dodgy stuff just hiding it well but couldn't do anything about it and just had to listen to what a stand up decent guy he was. Sometimes you can know too much.

problembottom · 27/02/2022 18:35

One of my best friends put a big post up about her troubled relationship with her fiancé and how she hated her sister in law to be. Recognised it straight away as I’d heard it all many, many times. She got absolutely slated in the replies and she swiftly got it deleted. 🤣

She later told me about it and said Mumsnet users were horrible. She was going through a very difficult time and came across as completely unhinged to be fair.

A couple of years on she’s with someone new, has the baby she’s always wanted and is back to normal. Don’t think she’s ever been back on here tho.

ClaudiusTheGod · 27/02/2022 18:37

@CassandrasCastle the church disciplined you? Isn’t that kind of thing meant to be carried out by God? Horrific. So glad you are out of that situation.

JustDanceAddict · 27/02/2022 18:42

Not here but I recognised a really good friend on another parenting forum years ago. I asked if it was her, she denied it and never posted again 😂

Metalguru22 · 27/02/2022 18:44

I name change frequently. But I'm also cautious about what I post, often drawing on how my life was about 5 years ago when talking about my experiences. I don't post identifying details, it's possible they would identify my partner.

Swipe left for the next trending thread