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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday dilemma.

222 replies

helbel34 · 26/02/2022 21:44

I have booked a weekend on a caravan park with my DH and our 2 children. I have asked my friend and her daughter to join us. I drive she doesn't.

Park is only 1 hour drive away, since we won't fit in my car I was expecting my friend to possibly to get the train and I couldn't collect them at the station. We will be going after the kids finish school on the Friday so leaving at 3pm or so.

My friend has suggested that we could hire a 7 seater for the weekend so we could go together, I looked up the cost and it will be £300+, she suggested that the adults pay £100 each. So myself, DH and DF.

Considering it would only cost is £30 in petrol in our own car for the trip, I really don't want to pay £200 + petrol. Considering we are paying for the caravan.

After reading another thread tonight I am wondering if I'm been unreasonable.

OP posts:
WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 26/02/2022 22:14

Ooh weird emoji where’d he come from!

notangelinajolie · 26/02/2022 22:16

YANBU if you pick her up from the train station and drop her off at the end. However, she would also NBU to decline you invitation to stay with you. A free holiday that turns out to be accomodation only is not free if she has to consider the train fare, food, spending money etc. She may not have this money to spend.

Woahthehorsey · 26/02/2022 22:16

How difficult is the train journey? We go on holiday somewhere an hour away by car, but it can take 3 hours by train, not including the travel to and from the station. Because it's 3 trains, with 30 minutes between one of the connections.

Ponoka7 · 26/02/2022 22:18

Could you take her DD so it's just her? How long is the train journey, are there any changes? How old is the DD?

JustLyra · 26/02/2022 22:18

She is being massively unreasonable. Doubly so when you are paying for the caravan.

IVflytrap · 26/02/2022 22:21

YANBU. I don't drive and have often taken the train for longer distances to go on holiday in the UK. It's really not an issue. Could you offer to take some of their luggage in the car with you, so they have less to carry onto the train?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 26/02/2022 22:22

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

It’s catching a train people go on holiday by train all the time 😵‍💫
Yes, I know that Confused

But, to me, if I invite someone on holiday that implies we're going to be travelling together.

Not that I'm driving and taking the easy option while they have no choice but to make their own way there by public transport which is normally more expensive and can be really inconvenient.

As I say, it just seems odd to me to invite someone when you can't actually give them a lift.

Porcupineintherough · 26/02/2022 22:24

@fairylightsandwaxmelts more expensive than what? Taking the car you dont have? Walking?

Original poster
helbel34 · 26/02/2022 22:27

It would be a short taxi ride to the station, 2 trains 20 minutes then 45 minutes then I would collect her.

I have said that I'm not prepared to hire a car as I have one. I said that a taxi there and back probably won't be much more that £100 for her.

I think that she was under the impression that I should be providing the transport.

OP posts:
Hollywolly1 · 26/02/2022 22:28

Its a bit odd inviting her to a caravan its not like a holiday home with room,if it was just you and your friend and her child and your 2 kids that would be different but where would you all sleep

Halfarsedjingler · 26/02/2022 22:29

We have a 7 seater, with 6 people in you can fit no luggage in ours at all (useless car really!)

Hollywolly1 · 26/02/2022 22:30

Yu are good to invite her along but maybe with her doing all that changes with trains she feels its hassle for her

Hollywolly1 · 26/02/2022 22:31

YouConfused

Original poster
helbel34 · 26/02/2022 22:32

@Hollywolly1

Its a bit odd inviting her to a caravan its not like a holiday home with room,if it was just you and your friend and her child and your 2 kids that would be different but where would you all sleep
The caravan has 3 rooms, 2 girls aged 10 in one room, Myself DH and toddler in double with travel cot in another and DF in own.
OP posts:
DysmalRadius · 26/02/2022 22:32

Could you fit some of their luggage in the car to make their journey easier?

NandorTheRelentlessCleaner · 26/02/2022 22:34

cancel cancel cancel

She is a mickey taker

It was kind of you but she’s clearly a “user”, so best to back off now

Or she’ll expect you to pay all the food and drink too

BendingSpoons · 26/02/2022 22:34

Surely you can't generally expect 2 families to travel together by car? We are a family of 4. We can't even get someone in the middle seat due to the car seats. Does that mean I can't invite anyone on holiday?

Plus the fact that as you say OP, her share of the car hire would probably cover the taxi return or near enough. Personally I also wouldn't be happy driving another car.

We are going abroad to where BIL and family lives. We are considering a mini van for us all to travel as DH and I don't want to drive abroad. If we do, we will pay all of it, as they already have a car. Although we'll probably just get the train to save money.

Totalwasteofpaper · 26/02/2022 22:34

@helbel34

It would be a short taxi ride to the station, 2 trains 20 minutes then 45 minutes then I would collect her.

I have said that I'm not prepared to hire a car as I have one. I said that a taxi there and back probably won't be much more that £100 for her.

I think that she was under the impression that I should be providing the transport.

No dilemma for you here then... You've told her you aren't prepared to hire a 7 seater.

It's her dilemma not yours....

barkingdogturfwar · 26/02/2022 22:43

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

Hmm.

I think it's a bit odd to invite her on holiday with you and then expect her to fork out for the train there and back Blush

I wouldn't give a second thought to what arrangements another grown adult makes to get to a location a one hour drive away Hmm that's less than my commute to work.
Lyonic · 26/02/2022 22:52

If its only an hour in the car, just go back once car is empty and pick them up. Its 4 hours of driving you ideally would not make but.. Public transport is garbage and it sounded like you wanted to do something nice for your friend who does not have a husband?

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2022 22:53

YANBU

AntiHop · 26/02/2022 22:55

We don't have a car. In these circumstances I would get the train for sure. It's madness to expect someone to hire a car if they already have a car.

Kumbaya12 · 26/02/2022 22:58

YANBU at all!
That other thread was someone giving a birthday treat IIRC.
You've invited your friends as a favour - presumably as a cheap holiday? Doesn't matter if she comes or not.

Now if you NEEDED her to come another matter...

BobLemon · 26/02/2022 22:59

Why invite a friend that you know can’t get there? A taxi, two trains and a lift sounds fairly painful, so I can understand her leaning towards a more comfortable option. Is your friend contributing to the cost of the caravan?

Kumbaya12 · 26/02/2022 23:00

@Lyonic

If its only an hour in the car, just go back once car is empty and pick them up. Its 4 hours of driving you ideally would not make but.. Public transport is garbage and it sounded like you wanted to do something nice for your friend who does not have a husband?
Garbage? Hmm Plenty of people holiday by train, and those are very very short rides. Are you a non-driver?
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