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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sent a naughty pic and it went wrong! AIBU?

279 replies

OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 21:38

Name changed for this, I think I might have humiliated myself! 🤦‍♀️

So I sent a suggestive photo to my fwb, however it is still all new, 1 month and we’ve only hooked up 3 times so far. The photo was from the knees down, wearing black high heels and a lacy thong hanging of the end of one of my heels. His response was “is that you?”

Ouch! Not the reaction I though I was going to get if I’m honest and I’m feeling a little embarrassed and rather awkward now.
I said it was me, it’s not going to be someone else is it with a laughing emoji , and he just sent the laughing emoji back… would you find that response humiliating? I think I need a new fwb already 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Wednesdayafternoon · 25/02/2022 21:43

Ahhh bless you!
Maybe he just doesn't know what to say or was taken by surprise!
Are you going to reply?

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 25/02/2022 21:44

Just text 'no'!!!

Original poster
OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 21:45

Well I still haven’t picked myself up off the floor yet if I’m honest, I thought as a bare minimum I would at least get a “that’s nice” response 😬

OP posts:
A580Hojas · 25/02/2022 21:46

Thankfully this is a world I know nothing about.

How could he not know the message was from you?

ENoeuf · 25/02/2022 21:47

Dunno sounds like maybe he wasn’t expecting it? Also the laughing face makes me think you are one of several?

cuno · 25/02/2022 21:47

Oh my god, I thought you were going to say you sent it to your boss or your mum by mistake. I don't think this is humiliating, it's not a reflection on yourself or anything like that. It sounds like he was being a bit dim really and probably not the best at the communicating by text. Have you sent him suggestive pictures before?

MrsMingech · 25/02/2022 21:49

That's very brave having only been together for 4 weeks.

Perhaps he was just surprised? Or maybe he thinks you're making certain sexual suggestions that he's not sure about?

RicherThanYew · 25/02/2022 21:49

Is he usually a dumbass? I would have responded "No it's my mum, obviously".

DiddyHeck · 25/02/2022 21:50

@A580Hojas

Thankfully this is a world I know nothing about.

How could he not know the message was from you?

I think he might have been checking it wasn't a fake photo that the OP claimed was her?
Original poster
OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 21:51

We’ve had sex a few times so it’s not like it was out of the blue in that way!

Oh god I’m going from cringing to dying and back again in waves! 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
spotcheck · 25/02/2022 22:01

Just reply with a winky smiley, and leave it at that

TheBigPeach · 25/02/2022 22:03

I think it sounds very sexy, but I’m not a guy-I would have thought he’d be happy to receive that 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn’t cringe too much it’s not overly identifying.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 25/02/2022 22:04

After a few weeks my bf asked for some pics when I said I was off for a bath.
I sent pics of the taps.
He never asked again.
Remember to only send pics you don't mind shared op

FlasherMcGruff · 25/02/2022 22:33

His reaction isn’t very encouraging. I’d be upset. At least your face wasn’t in if so it’s not that bad! A fully nude permanent image takes considerable trust!

Booboobibles · 25/02/2022 22:36

It was just your lower legs so he probably couldn’t be sure it was you. Lower legs in heels all look pretty similar. I wouldn’t worry…it sounds very tame x

BudgeUpAnne · 25/02/2022 22:37

Aww OP some guys are stupidly clueless and can't see suggestive flirting if you hit them in the face with it.
This reminds me of Motherland though when Sam the Shepherd replied to Liz's tits with a 👍 Although he did follow up with a dickpic eventually, so don't call it off just yet

Casmama · 25/02/2022 22:41

I think you're totally overreacting. There's no need to be embarrassed- he maybe isn't that into heels etc and didn't find it particularly sexy. He maybe didn't know how to respond. One of the advantages of a fwb should surely be not having to overthink things so brush it off.

Bluelillies · 25/02/2022 22:46

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

After a few weeks my bf asked for some pics when I said I was off for a bath. I sent pics of the taps. He never asked again. Remember to only send pics you don't mind shared op
I was once sending saucy pictures to my partner,who at the time was at work I sent a picture of my tits and sent it 30 seconds later my son texts me ‘Mum?whyhave you sent me a picture of your tits?I really don’t want to see them!’

Another time I sent a really sexy message to my ex
Telling him in detail what I had planned for him later
And sent it to my dad…

I’d either brush it off or find another fwb

TheCatThatWalkedAlone · 25/02/2022 22:50

OP my first (possibly paranoid) thought would be that I’m not the only woman sending him saucy pictures …

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 25/02/2022 22:53

You sent a polite of your lower leg?

He was probably just confused. Just sent randomly and not during a chat about meeting up or him coming over and you waiting makes it a bit like, "eh, why are you sending me a photo of you calf?"

Just a bit of a strange photo to send really. Brush it off, move on.

worriedatthemoment · 25/02/2022 22:55

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping that made me spill my tea Smile

Original poster
OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 22:57

It was a suggestive photo of my red thong hanging of my stiletto (as in taking my knickers off)

Instead of the laughing emoji he could have just said “that’s not my thing” Im finding it hard to brush it off if I’m honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 22:59

It’s fine if I’m not the only woman his seeing, I don’t mind that although I’m pretty sure his not at the moment but could care otherwise.

It’s just I found his response not great regardless

OP posts:
Jewel52 · 25/02/2022 22:59

@BudgeUpAnne

Aww OP some guys are stupidly clueless and can't see suggestive flirting if you hit them in the face with it. This reminds me of Motherland though when Sam the Shepherd replied to Liz's tits with a 👍 Although he did follow up with a dickpic eventually, so don't call it off just yet
Love Motherland so made me think along the same lines Wink! Some blokes just not good with the suggestive thing so wouldn’t get too hung up on his response, you’ve already hooked up a few times so he can’t be overly shocked
BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 25/02/2022 23:03

A lot of men just arent into subtlety or suggestive photos, especially out of the blue. Different if you were in the middle of a chat about him leaving his and heading over to yours or something. Just a bit of an odd photo to send but really not the end of the world.

Bit unfair to get mad at him for not responding the right way to an unsolicited and slightly odd photo. Just move on.