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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sent a naughty pic and it went wrong! AIBU?

279 replies

OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 21:38

Name changed for this, I think I might have humiliated myself! 🤦‍♀️

So I sent a suggestive photo to my fwb, however it is still all new, 1 month and we’ve only hooked up 3 times so far. The photo was from the knees down, wearing black high heels and a lacy thong hanging of the end of one of my heels. His response was “is that you?”

Ouch! Not the reaction I though I was going to get if I’m honest and I’m feeling a little embarrassed and rather awkward now.
I said it was me, it’s not going to be someone else is it with a laughing emoji , and he just sent the laughing emoji back… would you find that response humiliating? I think I need a new fwb already 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
PossiblyDreaming · 26/02/2022 00:24

Have you discussed sending each other sexy photos? If not then you can’t be surprised that he didn’t react positively. I can’t imagine anything slamming my fanny shut faster than someone sending me a photo of themselves and expecting me to be aroused by it Envy

PrimroseTheSmooth · 26/02/2022 00:27

I’m not sure he’d have got what the picture was- from your description I think it sounds like you’ve trodden on a pair of pants, not that you’d taken your pants off.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 26/02/2022 00:27

I think I vaguely remember the days of thongs and high heels...

DP will have to make do with a pair of big pants hanging off the back of my gumbies.

RantyAunty · 26/02/2022 00:28

He sounds a bit thick.

lemmein · 26/02/2022 00:36

@veevee04

I'm wondering the logistics of how you managed to take the picture?!! Men can get a bit confused by subtle pictures ,, they mostly just want pictures of tits,arse and fanny. I wouldn't be offended.
Grinhow true! Keep it simple OP.

Though, I don't think it is at all embarrassing - I would've took it as 'is that actually you, or a random google image?' Not cringey at all - or maybe I'm just thick-skinned (and possibly arrogant as my interpretation would convince me I must be so model-like that he had to check!)

EveryAvenue · 26/02/2022 00:40

Sounds to me like he was caught off guard? Were you talking about sex or anything sexy at the time? If you were then weird response. If you just dropped that in the middle of the convo I imagine he was a bit like ok then?

EveryAvenue · 26/02/2022 00:41

I know personally when a guy I’m seeing sends me a dick pic (or even an abs mirror pic) when I’m not expecting it I’m like ????? Why??????

AAAAAGHH · 26/02/2022 00:44

I'm obviously old but I'm not understanding why you are embarrassed about his meh reaction to a photo of your feet when he's already seen you naked and had sex with you ShockConfused

Bagpusssays · 26/02/2022 00:46

I'm not sure what your long term life goals are or how this helps you meet them.

It sounds like your life is a long way from where you'd like it to be but maybe this is an opportunity to make changes?

Once you do make changes there's no need to dwell in embarrassment about the past.

LovedayCL · 26/02/2022 00:56

@Bagpusssays

I'm not sure what your long term life goals are or how this helps you meet them.

It sounds like your life is a long way from where you'd like it to be but maybe this is an opportunity to make changes?

Once you do make changes there's no need to dwell in embarrassment about the past.

Nah, women are allowed casual sex if they want it.
Crayfishforyou · 26/02/2022 00:57

Reply:
No, it was your mum

Associatepeggy · 26/02/2022 03:50

I think its fine he didn't quite understand what was happening. But I don't think you need to be embarrassed either.

IDontDrinkTea · 26/02/2022 04:53

Were you talking about that kind of thing before or was it out of the blue?! Because he could have been at work, at dinner with his mum, in the pub with friends, a whole list of places it wouldn’t be appropriate to have that kind of conversation, so he just shut it down

LimeSegment · 26/02/2022 04:54

I'd be embarrassed too although you haven't done anything wrong. Maybe taking suggestive pics isn't his thing, but he could have been a bit nicer about it and just said "nice pic" or something.

I know how you feel because I once dressed up in lingerie and came out to the living room where my bf was to initiate sex, I thought he'd be happy or at least compliment me. Nope, he looked away and ignored me. Eventually he said bluntly "I'm not in to that". I'm still cringing and that happened six years ago.

MintyFreshBreath · 26/02/2022 05:14

Well done for only doing it knees down, so many people put their faces in the pic and it all goes horribly wrong. At least you can Deny Deny Deny in the future if required! I personally think he was trying to be a bit flirty but isn’t very good at it. This is why texts are so easily misinterpreted 😂

User310 · 26/02/2022 06:26

Awww op I feel for you! When I first starting dating DH I went away for a couple of weeks and sent a few suggestive texts about when I got home. The responses were lacking somewhat but years later and knowing him as I do, I know he would have be cringing (wince) and really isn’t in to overt sexual talk. I am laughing just writing this, you will see the funny side one day.

Also, I bet you’re picture was actually great ha.

User310 · 26/02/2022 06:31

Your

AlternativePerspective · 26/02/2022 06:41

IMO sending pictures is something which need to be discussed before you do it.

Not receiving those kinds of pictures isn’t for everyone, it certainly wouldn’t be for me, and the danger of reacting positively is that you’re potentially giving the sender the idea you liked it. Far better to just react in a casual way, that way the message should be seen rather than the person making their real feelings felt, which is what I would do. Grin

SeasonFinale · 26/02/2022 06:46

Maybe the "is that you?" was like as Wow is that you.

You responded its not going to be anyone else with a laughing emoji. (a joke)

He sent a laughing emotion back at your joke.

I don't think it had any hidden meaning. The laugh was in return to your joke. I think the is that you was said as a compliment as in "wow".

Do you think you may have read more into it?

fluffythedragonslayer · 26/02/2022 06:49

I wouldn't know how to respond if someone sent me a sexy picture of them! I think he was just caught off guard OP.

SomersetDreams · 26/02/2022 07:05

Don't worry about it. Life's too short. I'm sure he appreciated it. Just be cautious next time.

Take up photography you might find a talent there!

speakout · 26/02/2022 07:10

Sorry but I think it's quite funny you sent a picture of your feet to someone- unless that's his thing of course.

Stravaig · 26/02/2022 07:16

We can all relate to feeling awkward or embarrassed or over-exposed, for whatever reason, OP. Time to wrap yourself in a blanket with a cup of tea until you feel safe and grounded again.

Please be very clear though - he's done nothing wrong. He doesn't owe you whatever scripted response you had mapped out in your head. Express yourself authentically, but don't write other people's parts for them.

A long time ago, someone I found over-cautious and un-spontaneous in life explained to me that he always waited before saying/doing anything until he was sure he could also handle the reaction, whatever it might be. There is wisdom in this, in terms of self-protection; and beauty, because it shows respect for the other as a separate person, and genuine curiosity about their response.

Whingasaurus · 26/02/2022 07:17

My now dh responded similarly to the first naughty text I sent him, it's really not his thing and that's OK tbh it takes a while to really get to know someone but a fwb should be easy low key fun I'd move on from this one if I was you.

knittingaddict · 26/02/2022 07:21

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

After a few weeks my bf asked for some pics when I said I was off for a bath. I sent pics of the taps. He never asked again. Remember to only send pics you don't mind shared op
Absolutely this.

My personal opinion is that no one should be sending pictures that they don't mind some idiot sharing with your boss or to their best mates down the pub. Some people don't respect boundaries, relations go wrong, some people seek revenge, usually men. It's a risky activity.

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