To tell my sister to fuck off making comments about my son?

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My son is almost 2.5, and I’m concerned about his speech. It seems that all other toddlers I know are talking in sentences and my little one just isn’t yet. My sister keeps making comments and I’m so sick of it.

He can say lots of words, his new favourite is spinosaurus which I’m super impressed with. He says at least 50 words, and will occasionally join words together, just not all the time. He said the other day after he got into bed - oh no, where’s my dummy gone? (he only has it for bed time). If I or my partner leave the room for example, he’ll say daddy/mummy come back. If I ask him body parts he can’t name them, he just laughs at me and runs away. He knows his animals though. Should I be concerned he can’t name body parts? Everywhere I’ve read states he should be talking in sentences now and if he’s not he’s really behind. Add on my sisters continuous comments and I’m stressed.

My sisters little one is much further advanced in speech - he’s 4 months younger. And she’s always saying oh shouldn’t he be talking more by now, he doesn’t say much does he, what are you going to do when he’s 3 and he’s still not talking. She knows when his birthday is but said the other day oh is he going to be 3 this year? Knowing full well he is and then followed it up with he’s still not talking much. Like she was trying to say wow he’s 3 this year and isn’t talking. Every time she comes to my house it's like look what my little one can say, say this, say that, oh you're clever, oh you're so smart, you are talking so well. His speech is so good isn't it? I just feel awful every time she's here. I’m just sick of constantly defending him to her attacks. She moans about him being too rough, he's just a busy boy who likes to play, her son is so sensitive and cries at everything - I feel like she's picking him apart every time he does something. Last time she made a comment saying 'you're disabled' because he was being silly, she said it jokingly but it upset me. I've spoken to her about the way it makes me feel and she told me I was being pathetic and to fuck off.

He attends nursery 1 day a week and they haven’t any concerns, I emailed my HV and she said if I have concerns they can come out and do an assessment to see if he needs speech therapy but she said the waiting list is very long. She said because he attends nursery they could also refer? I don’t know whether I should bring it up to the nursery, or ring the HV’s back and get an initial assessment first.

Is he that far behind on speech? What to do about my sister?

I just don't know what to do about the situation. She's my twin sister so it's not easy. Her son and my son are bestfriends and they love playing together. I just wish she wasn't so hard on him. Maybe he is behind in speech but I don't need it thrown in my face every time I see her.

Yes, she definitely needs to mind her own business. Your son is completely normal, don't worry! Literally within days/weeks his speech will suddenly blossom. She sounds like the kind of mum everyone finds annoying, you'd probably avoid her at the school gate... unfortunately she's your sister.

Yeah your sister is being a grade A d*ck. You don’t need to cause a fight just message her saying your feeling a bit self conscious about your sons speech and would appreciate if she didn’t comment on your sons development as it’s not helping your anxiety. Make it more about your feelings rather than her to avoid a massive bust up.

Your son sounds like he’s doing perfectly fine. Ask the nursery as they will have a better understanding and see plenty of children. They can give you an honest answer, plus if they haven’t mentioned anything I doubt the nursery are worried and he’s very normal.

The range of normal is very wide, and nursery will have a good sense of that.
I think he is well within the normal range for speech at his age.
Can you tell your sister that it isn't helpful to compare them, and you wouldn't make negative comments about her child?

tell her that the comments need to stop. Whether she thinks youre being sensitive or not, thats beside the point. Stop comparing the boys. They all get there in the end. Shes got a lovely boy, youve got a lovely boy, they get on great, what more does she even want, if not to just upset you? Tell her that if it continues then you and her are gonna fall out

Compared to many children your child is not at all behind! My children are always slow to talk and had just a couple of words at that stage.

You're going to lose your sister if you can't get since boundaries and get out of each others' pockets. This issue could be about anything and she could still be giving you grief in a decade if she's inclined.

By all means ask for a referral to speech therapy, if only so you can say it's been done.

Perhaps do your best not to let him hear these negative comments as he probably understand everything.

Stop inviting your party unpleasant sister to your house. She knows exactly what she’s doing and it’s incredibly unkind. Your son may or may not have a speech difficulty, only a professional can assess that. Some children don’t talk much and then start coming out with all sorts a few months later. Maybe he will need a little help to get going. It doesn’t matter, your sister should stop mentioning it and if she doesn’t then you should stop spending any time with her.

Get the HV to do an assessment. Then you will know if he is fine or, if not, you can get support in place.
My DS has a cousin very close in age who was much further ahead with speaking when they were toddlers. I remember being sad about it. It turned out that his cousin's speech was advanced because he has autism and was copying what he heard whether he understood it or not. They're now teenagers and are both doing really well at school.
Ignore your sister if you can. Or remind that every child is different and that's a good thing.

He sounds completely normal. But even if he wasn’t in that normal range, it’s not your sister’s business to make comments like that
I’d have a proper chat with her and say her comments are hurtful, harmful and unnecessary as she may not really realise what she’s doing

It was a while ago but one of mine could climb anything at 18 months but couldn’t say the letter s until he was 5. He’s completely normal now, in development terms at least! All children develop at their own rates and will get there. Keep an eye on his speech but it sounds to me like it just isn’t his priority at the moment and if nursery aren’t worried, I wouldn’t be.
Most people discussing other peoples children are coming from a point of insecurity. I suggest you agree with your sister, ‘yes, he is taking longer to talk than X but I’m pleased he’s starting to let me know what he wants more’. It takes the wind out of their sails a bit. Or remind her all children are different and the professionals have no concerns - shut it down.
Please don’t stress. He sounds a lovely boy and I’m sure you’re doing a great job.

I know you’re going to get an absolute thread load of these replies, but just wanted to say, younger DS did not have good speech at 2.5. He didn’t have many words and they were very unclear. In fact I was going through an old iPad yesterday and watching videos of him from when he was 2.5 so I can tell you with absolutely certainty, the boy could barely speak. I was starting to get a bit worried, especially as my eldest was basically born talking like Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Anyway, at about 3 he very suddenly got it and started talking well, he’s now a complete chatterbox with a very wide vocabulary, in the group at school for the complex phonics etc in year 1. He’s fine. Yours is too.

Your sister 'jokingly' called your son disabled and you let it slide?! 🤦🤦🤦
You are your son's advocate, his voice at an age when he doesn't have one: stop allowing your domineering sister to slag off your child.
If she won't respect your boundaries, then put a healthy distance between you for a while.

I'm no expert on toddler speech, but he doesn't sound massively behind to me. My brother didn't speak until he was 4. He's absolutely fine !

It sounds like he does make sentences occasionally and knows a lot of words. So I don't see the problem. The body parts thing is also not a problem in my opinion. He knows how to name other stuff, like animals - so he's probably just being a bit cheeky and most likely knows what his body parts are, but doesn't want to tell you right now.

Your sister sounds really really annoying and I would be fuming. I would have blown up by now. Tell her your son is fine and you no longer wish for discuss this and it's unhealthy or her to be pointing it out in front of him. Every child is different ! Tell her that you've spoken to your doctors etc and nursery and he is fine ( it may help you if you actually do speak to them in any case ).

My DS was 3 last week and has only just started saying a couple of words so your Ds is definitely not behind for his age. I would just say to her that her commenting on it is annoying as it's not a competition between your children

So your sister is slagging off her own nephew?! Yanbu op!

Your little boy sounds completely on track to me. My youngest is the same age, very much like yours with his speech, just this week we’ve noticed his language has really come on. My eldest spoke early and very clear but didn’t walk till 18 months whereas the little one was walking at 11 months with later speech. I would go all out praising your little one for all the brilliant things he’s achieving. As twins did you and your sister do things at different times? Maybe remind her of those.

My grandson was saying similar things to hours at that age. He’s now 3 1/2 and never stops talking! Even to the point of saying ‘oh for fucks sake’ when his Thomas train came of the tracks!!! Don’t worry too much, your little one will soon start talking more the you won’t be able to shut them up.

Your sister sounds like a bitch. Tell her again that you are happy with your sons development and don’t think it’s good for the boys to constantly be comparing them so cbs she please stop making comments about your son. If she doesn’t listen don’t have her in your house.

Your sons speech seems fine but nursery will be best placed to advise you. For what it’s worth neither of my children spoke (except babbling and mama dada maybe 5 other words) until they were a few months over 3 years. They are all late primary / early secondary now and very bright able children with good speech. No different to their peers who were talking ins sentences at 18mths. All children develop at their own pace some walk quicker some speech quicker etc. Don’t let your sister’s comments get to you. Do you have a good relationship with your DM? Could she speak to your sister for you and set her straight.

Your sister sounds annoying. I would temporarily cut back on seeing her (arrange stuff with other people, be busy) until this phase passes, which it will. If she complains, just say that it is easier for you to spend time with other children who are as lively and energetic as yours, because their parents don't see it as a problem and comment negatively on it.

Your DS's language sounds fine for his age, and the differences iron themselves out soon enough. Annoying competitive parents mostly calm down a bit too.

You've got a sister problem not a son problem. She sounds toxic. Your son will end up at the same level as every other toddler very soon I think from what you have described. I'd steer clear of your sister for a while or reduce contact massively and enjoy your son.

Your son is so rough he makes her child cry. She constantly criticises your child. You think her's is too sensitive. I'd cut back on seeing her for a while. You're both falling into comparisons and competitiveness, and being mean about toddlers.
Pursue the referral if you're concerned about your DS. Work on him being less 'rough'. He'll meet 'sensitive' children in nursery and school. It's not acceptable to make other DCs cry.

You could also focus on all the things your son is better at than her son when you tell her to mind her own business.

Sis, please stop comparing their language development. I also don't constantly talk about how my son is more advanced physically and emotionally and isn't as much of a cry baby as your son. I don't think you would like it if I constantly put down your son and pointed out things my son is better at.. OR you could just start doing it

A six word sentence is pretty good.

Her passive aggressive non-caring gloaty delivery of faux-concern is horrible. I think you can definitely tell her that her comments are totally unwelcome.

Your son is doing fine and your sister is being a dick.