To tell my sister to fuck off making comments about my son?

[123gege]

My son is almost 2.5, and I’m concerned about his speech. It seems that all other toddlers I know are talking in sentences and my little one just isn’t yet. My sister keeps making comments and I’m so sick of it.

He can say lots of words, his new favourite is spinosaurus which I’m super impressed with. He says at least 50 words, and will occasionally join words together, just not all the time. He said the other day after he got into bed - oh no, where’s my dummy gone? (he only has it for bed time). If I or my partner leave the room for example, he’ll say daddy/mummy come back. If I ask him body parts he can’t name them, he just laughs at me and runs away. He knows his animals though. Should I be concerned he can’t name body parts? Everywhere I’ve read states he should be talking in sentences now and if he’s not he’s really behind. Add on my sisters continuous comments and I’m stressed.

My sisters little one is much further advanced in speech - he’s 4 months younger. And she’s always saying oh shouldn’t he be talking more by now, he doesn’t say much does he, what are you going to do when he’s 3 and he’s still not talking. She knows when his birthday is but said the other day oh is he going to be 3 this year? Knowing full well he is and then followed it up with he’s still not talking much. Like she was trying to say wow he’s 3 this year and isn’t talking. Every time she comes to my house it's like look what my little one can say, say this, say that, oh you're clever, oh you're so smart, you are talking so well. His speech is so good isn't it? I just feel awful every time she's here. I’m just sick of constantly defending him to her attacks. She moans about him being too rough, he's just a busy boy who likes to play, her son is so sensitive and cries at everything - I feel like she's picking him apart every time he does something. Last time she made a comment saying 'you're disabled' because he was being silly, she said it jokingly but it upset me. I've spoken to her about the way it makes me feel and she told me I was being pathetic and to fuck off.

He attends nursery 1 day a week and they haven’t any concerns, I emailed my HV and she said if I have concerns they can come out and do an assessment to see if he needs speech therapy but she said the waiting list is very long. She said because he attends nursery they could also refer? I don’t know whether I should bring it up to the nursery, or ring the HV’s back and get an initial assessment first.

Is he that far behind on speech? What to do about my sister?

Ds was a champion talker.
Dd was more a point and grunt kind of child.

They're just about to enter the teen years and have now swapped.

No one would ever know what they were like at 2!

He sounds totally normal and he goes speak sentences when he wants to showing her u set stands how to etc.
But to allay your worries fee a test done - if there is some support needed them you can get his name on list sooner rather than later xx

[quote 123gege]@esloquehay we had a major falling out over it. Didn't speak for 2 weeks. I said I wasn't happy with the comment she made and she has no right to call him that. Joking or not. It's unacceptable. That's when she said I was being ridiculous and to fuck off. [/quote]
She is a nasty one isn't she. How dare she call your son disabled and then dress it up as a joke. I couldn't stand her near me, twin or not.

Your sister is a massive dick!!

I don't think there is anything to worry about with your son.

I'd be tempted to be a massive dick back to your sister by saying he probably doesn't talk because he can't get a word in edgeways with all her blithering on!! That or a slap in the chops should do it!

Her comments are unhelpful and are only going to make you worry. The range of normal is very wide and your HV and nursery are the people with informed views. If they say he is fine and within the normal range, then please let that out your mind at rest. Your sister is just giving ill informed comment based on an anecdotal sample of one.

And to add to the thread full, DS didn’t crawl then at about 2 suddenly started toddling around like a champ. He also didn’t really talk, just pointed at things and said odd words until he was about 3.5 then started chatting away like he was on a talk show. He’s doing his a levels now and is showing no signs of shutting up or sitting still!

Your sister is being very nasty and I think you need to have a direct conversation with her about. Ask her why she's doing it. If she refuses to admit that there's any sort of issue and accuses you of being defensive then tell her to fuck off and take a break from her. Stop having her round.

Have you asked nursery what they think of his speech? It doesn't sound that unusual to me but it's hard to say without talking to him in person. Him laughing and running away when you ask him to name things is quite normal. They might know the answer but are just in a silly mood, or feel shy when questioned about things.

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/parents/ages-and-stages/

@123gege

My son is almost 2.5, and I’m concerned about his speech. It seems that all other toddlers I know are talking in sentences and my little one just isn’t yet. My sister keeps making comments and I’m so sick of it.

He can say lots of words, his new favourite is spinosaurus which I’m super impressed with. He says at least 50 words, and will occasionally join words together, just not all the time. He said the other day after he got into bed - oh no, where’s my dummy gone? (he only has it for bed time). If I or my partner leave the room for example, he’ll say daddy/mummy come back. If I ask him body parts he can’t name them, he just laughs at me and runs away. He knows his animals though. Should I be concerned he can’t name body parts? Everywhere I’ve read states he should be talking in sentences now and if he’s not he’s really behind. Add on my sisters continuous comments and I’m stressed.

My sisters little one is much further advanced in speech - he’s 4 months younger. And she’s always saying oh shouldn’t he be talking more by now, he doesn’t say much does he, what are you going to do when he’s 3 and he’s still not talking. She knows when his birthday is but said the other day oh is he going to be 3 this year? Knowing full well he is and then followed it up with he’s still not talking much. Like she was trying to say wow he’s 3 this year and isn’t talking. Every time she comes to my house it's like look what my little one can say, say this, say that, oh you're clever, oh you're so smart, you are talking so well. His speech is so good isn't it? I just feel awful every time she's here. I’m just sick of constantly defending him to her attacks. She moans about him being too rough, he's just a busy boy who likes to play, her son is so sensitive and cries at everything - I feel like she's picking him apart every time he does something. Last time she made a comment saying 'you're disabled' because he was being silly, she said it jokingly but it upset me. I've spoken to her about the way it makes me feel and she told me I was being pathetic and to fuck off.

He attends nursery 1 day a week and they haven’t any concerns, I emailed my HV and she said if I have concerns they can come out and do an assessment to see if he needs speech therapy but she said the waiting list is very long. She said because he attends nursery they could also refer? I don’t know whether I should bring it up to the nursery, or ring the HV’s back and get an initial assessment first.

Is he that far behind on speech? What to do about my sister?

Sister = arsehole, you have one and don't need another

You need to tell your sister to keep her opinions to herself. My son didn't use sentences until after he turned 3 and now at 4 he speaks very well. They all get there in their own time. It has no bearing on future academic potential either.

Both my dc had speech therapy as toddlers. They both talk for Britain now. Speech therapy (or getting onto the waiting list) is nothing to worry about. If you were on the waiting list you could always cancel when the appointment comes if it is no longer needed.
Your relationship with your dsis is another matter!

She's being a complete bitch.
Pull away from her.
The speech will develop honestly don't worry. Your sisters manners on the other hand ....

Yes, tell her to fuck off. She is rude and ignorant. Children develop at different rates, and my DD was chattering like a good 'un at 1.5 years old, whilst my cousin's mad said naff-all til 3. As teenagers they were both just as academic and smart as each other, and are as well educated and successful as each other in their 20s.

Your sister knows nothing @123gege

I'd ask her what she gets out of mentioning it, what is she trying to achieve?
It will put her on the spot and possibly make her think about why she is doing it, although if it would change her behaviour only you know that.

What to do about my sister?

Ignore her. Minimise contact with her.
She sounds awful.

Hit it head on - sit her down tell her her comments are not helping and making you anxious and unhappy. Tell her kids progress at different rates and if there's any concerns you will seek appropriate help. Don't put up with this.

LO seems fine for his age - but speak to your health visitor if your worried. Agree with other posters, if it continues start distancing and widening your friendship group.

I just wanted to reassure you, op that speech delay has absolutely no bearing on intelligence or future success. My lovely DD had speech delay. She does have Dyslexia and dyscalculia diagnosed now, but she is so bright and doing brilliantly at school.

Your sister is being stupidly competitive. Try not to take it to heart. Do say something to her though.

One of my best friends barely said a word until he was 7.

He is now a genius professor of scientific subject + polymath.

Ask her what page on the UCAS application form will she give details of her DD's spectacular early talking skills? Because that's how bloody relevant it all is in the long term!!!

With you being twins and having children so close in age, it is the pattern I would addressing outside of this specific (non!) issue of differences in speech. Otherwise it has the potential to dog you and affect relationships right along the line, right up to which Uni (or none) someone goes to. I would shut this comparing shite right down NOW. So you say something like ' Sis we have 2 lovely healthy boys who get on great, they are each their own person and will have their own strengths, challenges, and good and bad stretches. It's a long road with lots of twists and turns along the way and the important thing is that we love and support each other and each others children....then go on to talk about this specific bone of contention but only as an example'.

Is your sister often like this, or is it a bit out of character? Lack of sleep and the stress of a toddler can definitely do some damage.

Even though your toddler sounds normal, you can still go ahead and see about the assessment and talk to the nursery, if there is a bit of a long waiting time it's likely better to set those wheels in motion now! Better to be on a waiting list and turn out not to need it than be waiting for even longer.

Has she always been like this with you? Calling your ds 'disabled' as a 'joke' is really crossing a line I think. Your ds doesn't sound at all behind and don't worry even if you do get to the stage of speech therapy. My ds had a horrible stammer so goodness knows what my evil twin might have said about that!

Time to cut off your sister for a while. She called your son disabled and tells you to fuck off.
How long will you continue to let her make negative comments about your son? Soon he's going to be old enough to remember things.

Tell her to shut the fuck up, she is getting on your nerves. If she doesn't like you saying that tough

Welcome to the world of competitive parenting-she's a professional level player. Your son is fabulous and doing well. I as well have an identical twin sister so I know how close your relationship is emotionally but her behavior is just vile using the label of disabled as a derogatory term-I'm afraid what I would've said or done if I had been in the room as a mother of a severely disabled son (through medical malpractice.)