Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh pissing bed drunk

472 replies

Exutant · 25/02/2022 07:11

He is 52 and went into work yesterday in London (normally wfh). Spare bedroom. I went in to see him at 6am - bed soaking with and freezing.
It's not the first time - it happens about every 6 months.
I'm so pissed off. Carrying the sheets down and the lovely matress topper that all thr guests say has made the bed so comfortable. Probably ruined.
Washing machine is thru the kitchen so the kids saw - ashamed to.say I told them "daddy has pissed the bed".
Aibu to think it's not normal?
He's trying to ignore me asking about it and even tried to get into our bed but I made him have a shower.
Now he's being all jolly with the kids and I feel seething.

OP posts:
Original poster
Exutant · 25/02/2022 07:12

Meant to say - he is a city lawyer and quite stressful job. I just don't think he's coping at all.

OP posts:
Clymene · 25/02/2022 07:13

No it's not normal, it's disgusting. But why are you cleaning his pissy sheets?

FiveShelties · 25/02/2022 07:15

Why on earth were you carrying the bedding downstairs? There is not a chance I would be sorting it out and would definitely not want to share a bed with him.

Greydogs123 · 25/02/2022 07:15

Not normal and quite disgusting. Not sure why you are sorting out his pissy sheets. Next time he wants to go out and get drunk tell home to put a waterproof cover on the mattress before he goes. Any mess he makes he cleans up, he might be less inclined to make a mess.

Cuddlemuffin · 25/02/2022 07:15

Why isn't he washing the sheets himself? I don't agree with you saying that Infront of the kids but understand why you did and your anger towards him. YANBU. However you need to have a sir down chat with him about it I think. X

Original poster
Exutant · 25/02/2022 07:16

Friends and family stay in that bed. I made it all comfy and nice as at one point a guest (his mother) said it was uncomfortable.
And he would honestly have lain there in it unless I stripped the bed.

OP posts:
pilates · 25/02/2022 07:17

I would be seething too. Make him pay for a new mattress. Maybe he needs an appointment with the doctor for a checkup as that doesn’t sound normal.

Original poster
Exutant · 25/02/2022 07:17

If I'd left them on he would have stayed there until 9.30.

OP posts:
GeneLovesJezebel · 25/02/2022 07:18

And you have sex with this man ?
I wouldn’t be doing, he’d be on his way.

radiocity · 25/02/2022 07:18

Once every 6 months you say? I mean, it's disgusting yes but if it's only happened twice a year it's no big deal.

We all get drunk and do stupid things. My DH is a city banker - sometimes he just puts himself up in a hotel if he's been on it.

Original poster
Exutant · 25/02/2022 07:19

@pilates

I would be seething too. Make him pay for a new mattress. Maybe he needs an appointment with the doctor for a checkup as that doesn’t sound normal.
Yes I think I will. 'Make him pay' won't work, so I will have to buy it from housekeeping. Then I'll be short but he will have to top it up. I'm sahm so all money comes from him
OP posts:
FiveShelties · 25/02/2022 07:20

@Exutant

If I'd left them on he would have stayed there until 9.30.
Honestly, he could have laid there all day before I would have sorted it out.
Suzi888 · 25/02/2022 07:21

YANBU
Let him lay in it next time, when he gets up he can order a new mattress, waterproof mattress protector and bedding and dispose of his own mess.
Unless he has incontinence or a medical issue- he’s a pig.

This would seriously make me shudder. I couldn’t be intimate with him, my marriage would be overEnvy not envy!

Crazykefir · 25/02/2022 07:21

He was drunk? Your husband has disordered drinking patterns. Cleaning up after him enables this activity.

Imonlyhereforthehandwringing · 25/02/2022 07:21

Men, I would have left him to lie in it and let him be late.

He doesn't see it as a problem because you quite literally clean up his crap.

rwalker · 25/02/2022 07:21

Far far from ideal but tbh you've made such a massive drama let him deal .
Don't understand why you got involved or worse still involved the kids .

Clymene · 25/02/2022 07:21

@radiocity

Once every 6 months you say? I mean, it's disgusting yes but if it's only happened twice a year it's no big deal.

We all get drunk and do stupid things. My DH is a city banker - sometimes he just puts himself up in a hotel if he's been on it.

I was waiting for this. There are always women on these threads who say it's perfectly normal for adult men to regularly piss in their bed.

It's Not

FiveShelties · 25/02/2022 07:23

@radiocity

Once every 6 months you say? I mean, it's disgusting yes but if it's only happened twice a year it's no big deal.

We all get drunk and do stupid things. My DH is a city banker - sometimes he just puts himself up in a hotel if he's been on it.

I love a drink(or two) but wetting the bed is just beyond disgusting. It would be a huge deal for me.
girlmom21 · 25/02/2022 07:24

You should have let him lie in it, the disgusting pig.

Being a SAHM doesn't involve cleaning up a grown man's piss.

Crazykefir · 25/02/2022 07:24

It's normal for alcoholics.

AnotherSillawithanS · 25/02/2022 07:25

Just let him clean it up himself.

I can't believe you said that to your kids.

GeodesicDome · 25/02/2022 07:25

I just cant....

You DH pisses the bed twice a year and you clean up after him?

Fucking hell.

GeneLovesJezebel · 25/02/2022 07:26

No point replacing a mattress that he’s just going to piss in again.
You need to sort the problem.

SerendipitySunshine · 25/02/2022 07:27

Yes, he has a drinking problem. He needs to sort it. But in the meantime, get a mattress protector.

BortLicencePlate · 25/02/2022 07:27

@Exutant

If I'd left them on he would have stayed there until 9.30.
Would he have stripped the bed and washed everything once he did get up? So unpleasant.