Picnic-Gate

[ImStayingInside]

🙃 Planned a day out tomorrow for me, DH, DD1 11 & DD2 8 weeks. Just a trip to a nice park with a small picnic lunch.
My brother (25) asked if him and his new girlfriend could visit to see DD2, because we already had plans I asked them to join us on our day out. They said yes.
I text my brother this morning to say because the weather looks dry the plans were still on and we had ordered some snacks in our click and collect shop for a picnic and that him and his girlfriend could either bring a picnic as well, get a meal deal from the supermarket on the way or buy hot food from the park, but I wasn’t sure what was available because his girlfriend is quite fussy.
He text me back hours later asking could they not just have some of our picnic as he would feel stupid bringing their own food if we were eating a picnic.
We had already collected our shop by then, only scotch eggs, pork pies and other snacky bits, so not exactly a very luxurious picnic, but only enough for myself, DH & DD1.

My mum has since called to tell me I am mean for not providing their lunch as I invited them.
She said that she would never invite anyone out if she planned on taking a picnic without including them. I just didn’t even think, I assumed they’d be ok just bringing their own food. I mentioned that his gf is quite fussy so I don’t think she would eat what we like and my mum said we could have just made something else for her to eat.

AIBU?

YABU - you invited them so should have bought enough food to include them in the picnic - even if it meant changing what we were having to accommodate his girlfriend.

YANBU - they are 25 and old enough to provide their own lunch on a day out and mum should stay out of it.

Your DB and his GF sound like real failures to lunch launch

You are wrangling 2 children, one of whom is 8 weeks old and they can't manage to buy a sandwich between them???

Yanbu, if I was invited to a picnic I would bring food to contribute for everyone, isn't that bow picnics work?

Your brother sounds lazy and entitled going running to mummy that you won’t provide him with a sandwich he could bring himself.

People are jumping to this conclusion though.
It could have been a hunting in the kitchen cupboards, or a general question to the household if anyone was going to the shops tomorrow
"Why"
"Because we were popping over to Imstayinginside 's and she said to bring a picnic as they are going out and said we could join them"

Then the DM has stuck her oar in, even though he was just seeing what was there before he went to get them something.

@NYnewstart its quite a drive to get there, there’s gardens and a flower house greenhouse thing to look around and I’m hoping that the Manor House is open to go into as well.

@Totalwasteofpaper I loved your failure to lunch/launch. Most witty.

OP, could you deadpan tell your DM you'll leave your newborn at home while you walk to the shops. What does she think your DB and GF will love so they enjoy the picnic, after all they're making the effort to turn up?

Don't forget baby wipes, OP, in case your DB needs his bottom wiping.

Yes, you invited them, but on the other hand, if I'm invited to a picnic, I say "great...what would you like me to bring?"

Having said that, it does sound like they just don't have that kind of social experience, and to be fair, I was pretty clueless in my early 20s. Mum should have kept out though.

Please update tomorrow Op hope you have a nice day. I’d offer to share your food but wouldn’t rush out to get chicken just for her.

What a great precedent. 'Fancy meeting up for a drink at the Red Lion', asks Bill. 'Sure', says Ben. Does Bill realise inviting Ben to a meet up for a drink involves him buying drinks all night for he and Ben because Bill issued the 'invite'?

Oh for goodness sake, everyone brings food to a picnic. Who expects a picnic to be catered? Your brother is being ridiculous and your mum is interfering.

It's a picnic, you told them to bring their own. They didn't need to accept if this was an issue for them.... Rolling my eyes at all the weirdos on the thread saying you should be feeding them..... Also why is there no eyeroll emoji. So necessary on many many occasions/threads!

[quote ImStayingInside]@NYnewstart its quite a drive to get there, there’s gardens and a flower house greenhouse thing to look around and I’m hoping that the Manor House is open to go into as well.[/quote]
Hopefully they aren’t expecting you to pay for their entry!

Picnics in the park is always bring and share so he'd be super unreasonable not to bring say a pack of pork pies or some hummus and pre cut veg sticks.

With some friends we literally bring our own packed lunch each. We don't called it pack lunch, we call it picnic.

Your mum is not helping by babying him. She should have laughed at him and told him to go pick up a sandwich.

When family joins you on a picnic, they say “ thanks! What can I bring?”

@quest1on2

Hang on - this brother is 25 and your mum would make him a packed lunch to take to a park?

Does she pack his water pistol too? And remind him to be careful on the swings?

I can't believe the amount of people saying that because you "invited" them you should provide their lunch!

If you had said "oh we've already got a table booked at a restaurant for lunch, but you're welcome to join us and we'll call and extend the booking" would they expect you to pay for their meal?!

I have never been "invited" to have lunch/picnic/whatever with anyone, friend or family, and assumed that meant they would be providing the food for me. Unless they specifically say they are, I would always assume I'm paying for myself because I'm a functioning adult...

😂😂 I assume he still lives at home and has never attended a picnic as an adult? He will looked back on this in 10 years and laugh at him self. I'd pack extra but not cater specifically for anyone.

He could have spent that energy on buying food instead of whining to your mum about this absolute non issue.

Who goes to a picnic and doesn’t take anything? Invited people always being bits along, especially fussy ones.

@Chikapu

I can't get beyond sitting on a park bench and eating a packed lunch in February, it's bloody freezing.

I would definitely be up for this - a flask of tea and a slightly soggy egg sammich and possibly a kit-kat.

Bliss!

Gosh. If a family member with an 8 week old baby suggests a picnic, that’s surely the point when you offer to organise all the food?

Now, I get that your brother is 25, childless, and lives with his Mum so he’s probably not going to realise that he’s supposed to be the one supporting you. But there is no way anyone should expect you to be looking after him!

I think it’s what you are used to. My mum was always a bring a flask and homemade butties type. I went for a walk with a friend in January and we happily ate lunch at end on a bench (we both brought our own!) Hopefully no snow it was snowing here this morning I would draw line at that.

If I invited someone for a picnic I’d cater for them.

Storm in a tea cup.

YANBU and I wasn't surprised to find out that he still lives with mummy. He's 25, he can manage to purchase a sandwich without crying about it.

Can I ask what you make when she comes for tea if she only eats chicken & chocolate?!