Anxiety about anon Flower delivery

[crazymomma93]

Long time reader, first time poster.
I suppose the AIBU is for feeling anxious and not just greatful. Little back story. Ive been with DP for almost 11 years, wedding booked this year, 2 kids and a business together.
This last week has been horrendous he has been in a vile mood and I've no clue why, I'm assuming finances, as atm we both have alot more outgoing than incoming. Neither of us can get out of this hole we are both in and the wedding is just adding to that. Every day this week I've been going to work with such a tight chest through anxiety. This week I have not been my normal self in the sense, usually when he is out of character I dont stop until I get to the bottom of what is wrong. I will hound him until i find whats wrong. There has been no arguments as such but there is an atmosphere. I haven't had the energy to find what is wrong with him, so I've said ok and left him for work, bed, different room. I have depression and nothing left in me for bad energy and atmospheres.

Today I come home to an anonymous bunch of flowers 😳 I have never been sent flowers before in my life, they are beautiful from M&S with 2 packs of percys. He is due home any minute and Im just waiting for 💩 to hit the fan.

Give me a reasonable reason? Ive asked him it was a sharp no, Ive asked Mum, brother, manager at work. All nope, Im out of ideas. He is most definitely going to assume I have another man, by how I have been leaving him in his moods this week and now random flowers. 💩💩💩💩

@crazymomma93

So trying to catch up with comments. We have managed to have a good talk and clear the air. It turns out he is in a very bad state himself due to finances. Bit more info, We have been engaged 8 years. we finally thought we was in a position to afford a wedding. All booked and deposits paid but finances, as they can, took a drastic turn. Business has been slow, prices increasing and basically we've ended up with more outgoings than incoming. The wedding itself is in the 5k region. My mum has already paid for my dress, brother the photographer and MIL the cake. We have paid around 1k off ourselves but still have a way to go. I have just asked DP if we should carry on and we have spoke and decided to sort a way through together. I do love him, he is not amd has never been a nasty man. He just doesn't express his emotions very well and sometimes it creates atmospheres. Because I am struggling myself atm, it has been unbearable this week 😫. But the air is now clear, HE HAS EATEN MY PIGS, the flowers are in a vase still confusing the life out of me. I am a loner in life (not because of DP, I have momma issues and "friends" stabbing me means I have trust issues in other "friends"). If I find out I will update! Thank you for the comments, although not so much the extreme ones.

Nothing is a bigger red flag on here than 'I do love him'. Always preceded by a list of shit behaviour.

Please don’t marry someone who you feel scared to say flowers have arrived from and who you need a talk with to clear the air to prove you aren’t having an affair :(

You didn’t know the state of the business= another red flag you are not a team and you both need help

These threads often follow a similar pattern.

OP describes a situation causing anxiety and worry, normally due to their partner's behaviour.

Posters point out various red flags, things that seem odd or worrying and that they wouldn't recommend getting married if it's a pattern of behaviour because it won't get better by marrying, if anything it just traps them even more.

OP reports back that one chat miraculously resolves the problem, everything's fine, worries all gone. Amazing.

@crazymomma93

please check under the address label. this is where the sender's details are with M&S flowers.

So you've talked about the issue if money rather than what you should be talking about.