OP, reading this thread is absolutely heartbreaking. I know it’s well known and well documented that over a third of divorces are caused by the pressure of financial worries, so you’re not alone in that atmosphere and anxiety in your house ( www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/money-marriage-end-divorce-day-relationships-personal-finances-slater-gordon-a8147921.html ). But I think divorce is caused by how you face it together. The fact that you received random (pastel, unromantic) flowers and Percy Pigs of all things, and you have to fear your husband having a huge row with you is awful.
I bang this drum, and I bang it a lot, but life is so, so short. I never thought my life was going to be as short as it’s going to be (see username). And, I hate to say things like this knock on wood, but you could wake up tomorrow and find yourself with a serious illness, or facing who knows what other things in life, and need a lot more support than your partner seems to give. Please don’t stay with a man who makes bad situations worse, who makes you live in an atmosphere, who makes you afraid (even if there isn’t physical violence - it sounds like there may be at some future point, or perhaps… you’re not sharing when he just “grabs” your arm during an argument, because that’s still not a beating and it doesn’t even leave bruises? I’ve seen this kind of thinking, so, so much). If you have DC, leaving may be the BEST thing you can do for them, as growing up in a house with an atmosphere (you will never be able to completely hide his moods from them, no matter how young they are) will cause them issues. And if your DC are older, it’s never too late to leave - for them, and for yourself. And if you think they won’t want to leave or be “unsettled”, well, you’re the mum, and you’re the one with the anxiety eating a hole through your chest and you need to be able to live a truly happy life.
You shouldn’t have a partner you have to “dig” things out of. You shouldn’t have a partner you have to “walk on eggshells” around. You shouldn’t have a partner that makes you feel worse when things are already bad (financial worries, etc). There is a better life for you out there. Even if getting to it is difficult for a bit, even if money issues make “breaking up” seem impossible right now… do call CAB, StepChange, or even Womens’ Aid (emotional abuse is still abuse and if you’re tearing apart a flower box desperate to find a card before your husband gets home… love, you’re being emotionally abused).
Also, I do think it was probably from your close friend you haven’t spoken to in a month. Maybe she did it for a random kindness? Often we think we’re hiding how things are going in our households better than we are, and if she’s your only close friend, then chances are she has an opinion about your partner already, and without him, I think you might be “allowed” to have quite a few more friends
And please don’t assume it’s just like this. My DH would never accuse me of cheating just because I got flowers and the card fell out, and in fact, I have received flowers many times since I’ve been unwell or received bad news.