Anxiety about anon Flower delivery

[crazymomma93]

Long time reader, first time poster.
I suppose the AIBU is for feeling anxious and not just greatful. Little back story. Ive been with DP for almost 11 years, wedding booked this year, 2 kids and a business together.
This last week has been horrendous he has been in a vile mood and I've no clue why, I'm assuming finances, as atm we both have alot more outgoing than incoming. Neither of us can get out of this hole we are both in and the wedding is just adding to that. Every day this week I've been going to work with such a tight chest through anxiety. This week I have not been my normal self in the sense, usually when he is out of character I dont stop until I get to the bottom of what is wrong. I will hound him until i find whats wrong. There has been no arguments as such but there is an atmosphere. I haven't had the energy to find what is wrong with him, so I've said ok and left him for work, bed, different room. I have depression and nothing left in me for bad energy and atmospheres.

Today I come home to an anonymous bunch of flowers 😳 I have never been sent flowers before in my life, they are beautiful from M&S with 2 packs of percys. He is due home any minute and Im just waiting for 💩 to hit the fan.

Give me a reasonable reason? Ive asked him it was a sharp no, Ive asked Mum, brother, manager at work. All nope, Im out of ideas. He is most definitely going to assume I have another man, by how I have been leaving him in his moods this week and now random flowers. 💩💩💩💩

I dont see the problem here, all over a bunch of flowers. Just put them in a vase, and cheer the room up., no matter who has sent them. Maybe it was a secret admirer, sending a late valentines gift, which used to be a thing years ago, and had to be a secret thing.

Hoping you are ok OP x

@KneadingKitty

Agree with others that I'm concerned you are frightened.

Yeah. I don't think marriage is what should be happening here.

Ok so...

1. They are from a woman to him

2.They are from him and he is trying to catch you out as he thinks you're having an affair

1. Wrong address
2. Someone likes you

Don't worry about what he says though- you know you haven't done anything wrong..

It's random act of kindness day. I have a friend who's been sent unexpected jewellery today from a friend of hers . Probably a friend that misses you and wants to send a gift to make you happy 💐

hate to say this, has he sent them to the wrong address?

He was supposed to send them somewhere else?

@GettingItOutThere

hate to say this, has he sent them to the wrong address?

He was supposed to send them somewhere else?

My first thought too.

I think if he really does go nuts it may be defensive as he is mad at himself rather than he is mad with you.

My guess, if there’s a wedding coming up, is someone’s sent them as RSVP? Flowers for you, Percy’s for him?

Hope he's been reasonable OP. What is going on with him? His communication skills sound extremely poor and it's horrible to hear how anxious you are.

Tbh I'd be more concerned these flowers may be from him ro someone else accidentally gine to you given his reaction.

He seems to be acting strange? Was terse when you brought them up, now he's late home from work?

@DomesticatedZombie

You shouldn’t have a partner you have to “dig” things out of. You shouldn’t have a partner you have to “walk on eggshells” around. You shouldn’t have a partner that makes you feel worse when things are already bad (financial worries, etc). There is a better life for you out there. Even if getting to it is difficult for a bit, even if money issues make “breaking up” seem impossible right now… do call CAB, StepChange, or even Womens’ Aid (emotional abuse is still abuse and if you’re tearing apart a flower box desperate to find a card before your husband gets home… love, you’re being emotionally abused).

All of this.

I'm another who agrees with this.

I spent 30 years with an abuser, finally getting out 4 years ago. I have GAD, both DC have depression, one with added anxiety issues. We're healing but we'll always have to watch our MH carefully.

We, too, walked on eggshells. If I had received a random bouquet I would have had accusations. He blamed his poor behaviour on depression, but he was just an abusive dick.

I think you should postpone the wedding, at least until you've had an objective look at your relationship. I'm not convinced you're in a goodd relationship.

I really hope that OP has seen the posts about the card being under the address label.

Don't marry someone that you're frightened of @crazymomma93, please don't. This will not improve and it would be a mistake.

Has anyone you know ordered anything from M&S for delivery to your house in the past? I’ve mistakenly sent a M&S delivery to someone else’s address before having previously sent them flowers as the website autocorrected to their address.

I hate to suggest this, but I wonder if he meant to send them to someone else but yours is the default address?

@DreamingofTimbuktu

Please don’t marry a man you are frightened of.

www.womensaid.org.uk/

This organisation can help.

Are you certain there isn’t a card , when I’ve had flowers from M&S they don’t include a conventional little card and envelope it’s usually just a printed slip that could easily be overlooked as care instructions etc. Or is it under the address label ?

It's very sad op that you are so worried about his reaction.

Allegedly my aunt sent m and s flowers. Her at Number X kept them.

I'm thinking miss delivered op

It’s really concerning that you are so anxious when you have done nothing wrong ? Why are you responsible for his moods? Why are you with someone who is the source of so much stress and unhappiness when he should be the source of calmness and joy ?

.

I genuinely hope you're ok OP, that kund of anxiety is such a horrible feeling

Do not marry this man he is not good for you

OP please come back to tell us you’re ok.

I know you have been together a long time but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to marry him,you shouldn’t feel so stressed about this.