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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anxiety about anon Flower delivery

206 replies

crazymomma93 · 18/02/2022 18:16

Long time reader, first time poster.
I suppose the AIBU is for feeling anxious and not just greatful. Little back story. Ive been with DP for almost 11 years, wedding booked this year, 2 kids and a business together.
This last week has been horrendous he has been in a vile mood and I've no clue why, I'm assuming finances, as atm we both have alot more outgoing than incoming. Neither of us can get out of this hole we are both in and the wedding is just adding to that. Every day this week I've been going to work with such a tight chest through anxiety. This week I have not been my normal self in the sense, usually when he is out of character I dont stop until I get to the bottom of what is wrong. I will hound him until i find whats wrong. There has been no arguments as such but there is an atmosphere. I haven't had the energy to find what is wrong with him, so I've said ok and left him for work, bed, different room. I have depression and nothing left in me for bad energy and atmospheres.

Today I come home to an anonymous bunch of flowers 😳 I have never been sent flowers before in my life, they are beautiful from M&S with 2 packs of percys. He is due home any minute and Im just waiting for 💩 to hit the fan.

Give me a reasonable reason? Ive asked him it was a sharp no, Ive asked Mum, brother, manager at work. All nope, Im out of ideas. He is most definitely going to assume I have another man, by how I have been leaving him in his moods this week and now random flowers. 💩💩💩💩

OP posts:
Original poster
crazymomma93 · 18/02/2022 18:33

I am having the worst week ever. I feel fit to bust and it is draining, but no one knows that. And at the expense of outing myself as a loner, I don't have close friends. Well the 1 but I haven't spoken to her in around a month. There is no one on this planet I can think of. I'm so confused and I just know the bad atmosphere is going to bubble into a HUGE argument and accusations. I know DP and what will be going through his head. Its such a shame that such loverly flowers, are making my arse go like the clappers, now DP is due home any minute. FFS.
Poster above no one has ever sent me anything it the post before. Let alone flowers, I hope to baby jesus it isn't sexy underwear next otherwise we may well be on channel 5!

OP posts:
viques · 18/02/2022 18:33

Check the box, the card they send isn’t in a nice little envelope, it looks like a bit of folded over card, the message is inside.

Cakequeen1988 · 18/02/2022 18:34

I’m concerned that you seem concerned about his reaction. I think you need to consider why this is.

Anyone else would be confused and bemused when the likely candidates of mine, sister, partner had been removed. You shouldn’t be worried.

Perhaps call M and S. the card my have been missed out in error.

Either way do not be made to feel a bit guilty about receiving the flowers

Avarua · 18/02/2022 18:35

I'd be thinking along the lines of he doesn't want to get married and the cognitive dissonance is coming out as anger. Because, 11 years so far and no dice.

Ronaldmcdonaldhair · 18/02/2022 18:35

Just quickly hide the card and tell him there wasn’t one. I know it’s wrong to lie and you shouldn’t have to but you’re so worried it seems the best solution. Hide it then tomorrow take it out of the house and bin it.

ChampagneLassie · 18/02/2022 18:36

I reckon a friend has sent them. Just tell your DP the truth - don't know, hopefully find out soon! Could try calling M&S. Sounds like a stressful time between you. Perhaps use his reaction as a chance to talk about things openly. x

Ronaldmcdonaldhair · 18/02/2022 18:37

Sorry, I’ve assumed there was a card with your name on it but as a previous poster has described how the ‘card’ actually is, my post is probably irrelevant now.

Redglitter · 18/02/2022 18:37

Would it be worth phoning M&S to ask if a card should have been enclosed with them

Wouldn't be surprised if they've forgotten it. One of your friends might be wondering why they haven't heard from you to thank them 🙈

DirtyDancing · 18/02/2022 18:37

Well, if you was having an affair you would have eaten the Percy's and put the flowers in the nearest bin. You would exactly ask them if there were his and wave them in his face...

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 18/02/2022 18:37

Could he have another woman and she's sent them to cause trouble and instigate a split between you both?

hopeishere · 18/02/2022 18:37

Can you try calling to find out who they are from? Are you sure there isn't a card tucked in somewhere?

ExtraOnion · 18/02/2022 18:37

It’s such a shame you are so scared of him and his temper - is this what you want the rest of your life to be ? If not, you need a serious rethink about getting married.

I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, he would just laugh and eat the Percy Pigs..,

SouthOfFrance · 18/02/2022 18:37

Post a picture of them on FB and say something like 'please can the person who sent me these beautiful flowers let me know who you are so I can thank you'.

ChampagneLassie · 18/02/2022 18:37

Actually if you're not worried - give them to a neighbour now - say you're allergic or something. Or just throw them in bin. not worth the stress

HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 18/02/2022 18:38

I'm concerned that you are frightened op.if he makes you feel fear, don't marry him.

Vacuumingnextdoor · 18/02/2022 18:38

Could it be someone from your past OP? Who do you know shops at M&S?

Original poster
crazymomma93 · 18/02/2022 18:39

I called M&S, the automated message says if there is no card to check with family and friends, due to GDPR they are not allowed to give any information out.

OP posts:
ChampagneLassie · 18/02/2022 18:39

And maybe Q if marriage to a man you're this scared of is a good idea?

BBCONEANDTWO · 18/02/2022 18:41

I got some flowers when I lost my dad and I didn't know who there were from so couldn't thank them till I got back to work and the lady that sent them asked what they were like!

blitzen · 18/02/2022 18:42

They may not be able to say who purchased them, but might be worth checking if there was supposed to be a message included, as if so, then surely they could tell you what it said? I am thinking missing card? So sorry you are feeling so anxious though, OP. An awful feeling. Hope you're alright x

Vacuumingnextdoor · 18/02/2022 18:43

When you order the flowers one of the options for an add-on is the percy pig bags. What bouquet did you get OP (being nosey).

Angrymum22 · 18/02/2022 18:44

Is there an M&S card in black with it. Look very carefully at it, the sender details are often very small print and I daily missed.

Angrymum22 · 18/02/2022 18:44

I daily- easily

ThanksItHasPockets · 18/02/2022 18:45

This should be a mystery that you puzzle and giggle over with your husband. Instead you are frightened. That’s not right, OP.

LittleBearPad · 18/02/2022 18:47

No matter that it’s been a stressful week a present of a bunch of flowers shouldn’t cause this reaction in you! You certainly shouldn’t be so scared of his reaction