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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

957 replies

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:29

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

OP posts:
baconroll12 · 18/02/2022 15:31

I think if it meant the chosen best man couldn't attend then yes, definitely. I would assume he was picked for a reason and it would matter to the couple that he was there.

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:32

They're happy for him to attend, but don't want the baby there.

OP posts:
Pyri · 18/02/2022 15:32

God yes, it’s a tiny baby not some chatty toddler mashing rice cakes all over the bride

Hb12 · 18/02/2022 15:32

Yes, of course! If the mother and said newborn felt like attending a wedding there is no way I would exclude them

HelloBunny · 18/02/2022 15:32

Yes, I would invite them as a family.

tintodeverano2 · 18/02/2022 15:33

@questionofthedaywedding

They're happy for him to attend, but don't want the baby there.
Nice! Be prepared for no best man then!
glowingpink · 18/02/2022 15:33

Yes I would allow this.

ACNHlife · 18/02/2022 15:33

If you want to maintain any short of relationship with the best man beyond the wedding, then yes.

This is the kind of thing that destroys friendships.

Eslteacher06 · 18/02/2022 15:34

Reverse, reverse!

Ronaldmcdonaldhair · 18/02/2022 15:34

I would but I wouldn’t have a child free wedding in the first place so my opinion on the situation might be irrelevant 🤷‍♀️

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/02/2022 15:35

Without a second thought. I don't think babies under 6 months minimum should count in No children.

Bobbyelvis4ever · 18/02/2022 15:35

2 of my bridesmaids had babies at my wedding (5 months and 4 weeks). There was another 6 week old babe in arms. Children were not invited, but I hand wrote notes on these invites saying we absolutely wanted them there if they felt able to come, and were up for it. They were also welcome to confirm at the last minute.

We didn’t want kids at our wedding, as it was not the atmosphere we were going for. Our cut off was anyone who could get around of their own volition. Super thankful for considerate friends who took their littlies out when they cried.

We got them special little favours, and there were tons of willing baby holders

ForTheHorde · 18/02/2022 15:35

Of course baby should be allowed - until they can eat solids I would consider newborns extensions of their parents.

TeapotCollection · 18/02/2022 15:35

Will other guests have a bag on though if this baby is allowed to go? Where would they draw the line?

bonfireheart · 18/02/2022 15:35

Really not worth losing a best man/friend over.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 18/02/2022 15:36

Of course I'd let him, his wife and their baby come.
If I were the best man in questions I'd be questioning how much the couple cared about my attendance if they refused to let my newborn baby come.

At that age, baby isn't taking up a space that could go to a close friend or family member. There is no additional cost per head.

If the biggest concern is whether baby makes too much noise or whatever, just speak to the BM in advance and say "look, during the ceremony, if baby cries will your wife be okay to stand at the back/nip out?"

Wheresthisgoing · 18/02/2022 15:36

If it were my wedding I’d make an exception to ‘no kids’ for babes in arms in this situation.

Ozanj · 18/02/2022 15:36

Ridiculous behaviour. But if they insist on a child and baby free wedding they need to understand that parents may well decline

Dumbledoressister · 18/02/2022 15:36

Generally I think it's normal to allow young babies at weddings even if they're child free generally. Otherwise loads of breastfeeding mums won't come!

whosaidtha · 18/02/2022 15:36

Depends where the wedding is. 15minutes from best man's house maybe not. 3.5hrs away definitely yes.

00100001 · 18/02/2022 15:37

Dies the mother of the baby have to attend? What relationship is she to groom?

SpiderVersed · 18/02/2022 15:37

Of course the baby has to come.

NetflixAndSauvignonBlanc · 18/02/2022 15:37

I think that the best man and his wife are best placed to make the decision on who from their family should l attend. I wouldn't have wanted to take my newborn to a wedding but I know plenty of people who would.

Orangesquish · 18/02/2022 15:37

Yes. The no kids at a wedding rule doesn't include babes in arms in my opinion.

GreenWheat · 18/02/2022 15:38

@Ronaldmcdonaldhair

I would but I wouldn’t have a child free wedding in the first place so my opinion on the situation might be irrelevant 🤷‍♀️
Exactly this. I just don't get where the no baby nazis get off. They are being absolutely ridiculous in their application of "no hideous children spoiling our special day". It's a tiny baby. They need to get a grip.