To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

[Sweetlikejollof]

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

Because the threads are usually whinging either about not getting enough special treatment, not enough money being spent, not getting a proposal, or just like your post, whinging about other people being “rude” and some of us think it’s fucking stupid.

To ask why some people are SO rude?

Are you new to Mumsnet? There's nothing people won't be rude about on here.

I actually agree with this, I personally don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and I find some of the commercialism around it a bit tacky, but for those who love and enjoy it then go them.

A bit like religion really.

However, the complete snobbishness of MN is really tiring sometimes. There’s a competitive element of who can give the smallest shit. Ie, proposals are tacky. weddings are tacky. If you spend more than £12 on the wedding and wear more than a bin bag you’re destined for a short and unhappy marriage because you clearly are a grabby bitch only doing it for attention. Any public display of affection is tacky. Friendships are unnecessary. New clothes are unnecessary. If you buy anything fancier than a north face fleece you’re an attention seeking wench with money to burn.

On and on. It’s tiring. It doesn’t make you better people with better relationships.

@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet

Because the threads are usually whinging either about not getting enough special treatment, not enough money being spent, not getting a proposal, or just like your post, whinging about other people being “rude” and some of us think it’s fucking stupid.

This is precisely what I’m talking about. Very first comment, as well. ‘Whinging’ and ‘fucking stupid’. Christ.

@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet

Because the threads are usually whinging either about not getting enough special treatment, not enough money being spent, not getting a proposal, or just like your post, whinging about other people being “rude” and some of us think it’s fucking stupid.

^This

This is precisely what I’m talking about. Very first comment, as well. ‘Whinging’ and ‘fucking stupid’. Christ.
It's just an opinion, no more and no less valid than yours.

@Pyri

I actually agree with this, I personally don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and I find some of the commercialism around it a bit tacky, but for those who love and enjoy it then go them.

A bit like religion really.

However, the complete snobbishness of MN is really tiring sometimes. There’s a competitive element of who can give the smallest shit. Ie, proposals are tacky. weddings are tacky. If you spend more than £12 on the wedding and wear more than a bin bag you’re destined for a short and unhappy marriage because you clearly are a grabby bitch only doing it for attention. Any public display of affection is tacky. Friendships are unnecessary. New clothes are unnecessary. If you buy anything fancier than a north face fleece you’re an attention seeking wench with money to burn.

On and on. It’s tiring. It doesn’t make you better people with better relationships.

All of this. If you’re not self effacing, wearing a hair shirt and living on dry crusts and utterly miserable at all times, there’s a certain element on MN that will dub you pretentious. It’s very tiring, indeed.

I don't care about Valentines day. Celebrate it or don't, makes no difference to me. I do tire of whiny brats meaning they didn't get good enough gifts/enough attention. It tends to make women look like twats too because I'm yet to see a man moan that he didn't get a nice enough bunch of flowers 🙄

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

This is precisely what I’m talking about. Very first comment, as well. ‘Whinging’ and ‘fucking stupid’. Christ. It's just an opinion, no more and no less valid than yours.

It’s rude, doesn’t actually engage with the question asked and proves my point. Its ‘validity’ wasn’t in question.

Pp is entitled to think what they want and I’m entitled to my opinion on said thoughts. And on yours. And that opinion is also ‘valid’. You see how that works?

Well apart from the obvious fact that this is MN and people are rude and judgemental about anything and everything (and I’m not excepting myself here )- it’s usually one of two things.

It’s either “cool girl” posturing about how you don’t care about getting a gift or your partner even acknowledging it because you’re just soooo low-maintenance unlike other girls.

Or it’s condescending “my love is truer than yours” nonsense about how it’s totally a commercial holiday (psst, they all are!) and love is for every day.

Just for reading comprehension- this is not two reasons why other people DON’T do Valentine’s Day, this is two reasons why people who don’t do it choose to be judgy and snarky to those who do.

To be fair to MN, posters on here are equal opportunity objectors to lots of celebrations - see also baby showers, gender reveals, weddings (particularly child-free and requiring travel).

Why is it rude for people to discuss something they dislike?

Why are threads about how wonderful VD is more valid than those who dislike it?

Other than that you are choosing to take it as a personal criticism, obviously.

@Uafasach Indeed. All celebrations are vapid and evil and all women who care about them are apparently ‘brats’ (as already illustrated by some of the comments above).

@formalineadeline I haven’t stated that it’s rude for people to discuss something they dislike or that threads about how wonderful VD is are more valid than those that dislike it. Nor have I taken anything as a personal criticism.

My OP is neither long, nor complicated. As you clearly misunderstood it the first time, perhaps read it again.

To be blunt, I think people who buy into valentines are mugs. It is a con.

When I was younger, my friend's partner beat her frequently. She stayed with him for years. Her exact words were 'He must love me because he takes me put for dinner on valentines day'.

It is a day for show to excuse vile and behaviour that is not loving in anyway whatsoever for the other 364 days.

@Sweetlikejollof actually I did answer your question. The very first word was “because” so let’s not talk about reading comprehension Hmm?

*out

To be blunt, I think people who buy into valentines are mugs. It is a con.

Pretty much.

Nobody really needs to know if you celebrate it and how though- nobody will pass an opinion on it either then 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm going to start of my rant now. Sorry.

I have seen so many mediocre/shit/abusive relationships and every single one of them have done grand displays and gestures on valentines day. The people who IMO have positive relationships are the ones where a partner does stuff like buys their SO their favourtie food on a random Wednesday afternoon because they've had a long day at work and they wanted to cheer them up.

And you sound an absolute delight OP
Have you pissed everyone off on social media boasting by any chance and want to come here telling everyone how unfair people are?

@TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet You think that beginning your response with ‘because’ means you must have answered the question? Okay, then. That’s me told. 😂

People are entitled to have and express views about tat and commercialisation.
And it’s effect on the environment.
People are entitled to have and express views on grown adults in stable relationships wanting a big fuss
People are entitled to talk about feeling hurt if they feel unacknowledged , or have differing views from their partners.
People happy to buy into the whole thing should get on and enjoy themselves.

I think Valentine's Day is a silly commercialised holiday but if other people want to celebrate, all the more power to them.

I don't own a Ford so I don't go to forums for Ford owners telling them how much I think Fords suck. Waste of time and I agree, rude.

@amiafreakofnature

Nobody really needs to know if you celebrate it and how though- nobody will pass an opinion on it either then 🤷🏼‍♀️

Indeed. Let’s all pretend that people never have conversations about what’s happening in their lives. Mentioning things is verboten. To do so is the court derision. Very sensible.

You sound absolutely lovely, yourself.