To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

[Sweetlikejollof]

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

Because Valentines day, Christmas presents, Elf on the Shelf etc, put pressure on people who really don't have the money to waste on these things.

How must a child feel seeing Instagram posts about parents buying presents and balloons for their kids when they don't have enough money for essentials.

If you can afford to do things like that, then fine, just don't flaunt it.

See this is what the OP means. You cannot make other people ‘not do things’ under the guise of ‘well some people don’t have it’

The world is full of people better off than others. Maybe not just ‘essentials’ but on career sites, etc there will always be better off people. It’s a good life lesson to focus on what you have. Envy isn’t a good look

@Aimee1987 You may think I’m required to be polite to people who have been rude to me. I’m afraid, I disagree. That doesn’t impact on my point regarding random rudeness regarding how others celebrate Valentine’s Day.

I personally really enjoy events, Valentines, bonfire night, Halloween, Easter, the works. It marks the passage of time, the rhythm of the year and breaks up what would otherwise be long chunks of time with little markers. You can do things ‘your’ way, on valentines we do cards but no gifts, and went to see Jackass at the cinema it doesn’t have to be covered in rose petals and diamanté’s, it’s just nice to observe these things to remind you to be grateful for the people in your life. I wonder what memories people will have who are so snide about any fun or celebration.

I'm not saying don't do it, I am saying don't flaunt it.

Read the room. There are lots of people who can't afford to do things like this.

@sweetlikejollof I'll have a look for that - it's a phenomenon I find so frustrating.

And it isn't envy, it is just being upset at missing out.

@erhellerr I'm not suggesting for a moment that we should all be girly. But there's a difference between not enjoying something yourself and judging others for enjoying it. Internalised misogyny comes in when a person automatically deems something silly or frivolous because it's typically feminine. You see it a lot here when women claim they would hate their daughter to want to wear lots of make-up and go out to parties and that they're so proud of have an alternative tomboy type.

Well Valentine's day is one of the most emotionally intense days of the year. People love it, people hate it, people have bad memories, good memories, are experiencing wonderful romances or heartbreaks.

There's no other publicly celebrated day that exists purely on the grounds of being so emotive.

That's why people have such strength of reaction to it - it means such different things to different people depending on their lives and experiences, and I think it brings up both good and bad memories for some people too.

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@Aimee1987 You may think I’m required to be polite to people who have been rude to me. I’m afraid, I disagree. That doesn’t impact on my point regarding random rudeness regarding how others celebrate Valentine’s Day.[/quote]
@formalineadeline didnt actually say anything rude. She asked why it offends you when people disagree with you.
But instead of answering the question you reacted by being sarcky. So yeah rude.
You cant start a thread then snap at anyone who disagrees with you.
For what it's worth I dont give a shit either way what people do on valentines but threads like this are just designed to start a fight which your clearly gunning for for some reason. Is everything ok OP?

@Cheekypeach

I personally really enjoy events, Valentines, bonfire night, Halloween, Easter, the works. It marks the passage of time, the rhythm of the year and breaks up what would otherwise be long chunks of time with little markers. You can do things ‘your’ way, on valentines we do cards but no gifts, and went to see Jackass at the cinema it doesn’t have to be covered in rose petals and diamanté’s, it’s just nice to observe these things to remind you to be grateful for the people in your life. I wonder what memories people will have who are so snide about any fun or celebration.

This. 100% agree.

100% agree @Sweetlikejollof Everyone I know in real life (in a couple,) celebrates it, if only with a card and a bunch of carnations from Morrisons. Yet on mumsnet, at LEAST 3 out of 5 people claim it's all rubbish, commercialism, faff, fluff, pathetic, childish, wet, and stupid. And only childish idiots partake in it.

My friends DD (28) had a lovely cuddly toy hedgehog off her boyfriend yesterday, and a woman in her office - 5 years old and single (shocker!) laughed at her and mocked her, and said 'fuck me, are you 5?' And hollared loud enough so that everyone could hear. Nasty jealous little bitch.

@Veryworried22

I don't care about Valentines day. Celebrate it or don't, makes no difference to me. I do tire of whiny brats meaning they didn't get good enough gifts/enough attention. It tends to make women look like twats too because I'm yet to see a man moan that he didn't get a nice enough bunch of flowers 🙄

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Plus there's a whole sense of "why?" for me as it's commercial.

I'm not actually rude about it though.

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

And it isn't envy, it is just being upset at missing out.

Same thing. Even if you say ‘don’t flaunt wealth’. There are lots of things people share. That’s not necessarily ‘showing off’ but can have the same effect. A new job, a baby. Many many people in fact struggle to conceive, so nobody should post about their pregnancy or baby ever, because they’ll be upset at ‘missing out’?

You can’t control what people do.
Especially since nobody ‘has’ to see anything on social media. They can just unfollow people who make them ‘upset’.

I think also that it’s about intent. Do you celebrate Valentines because you genuinely like it or to post on socials? Do you come onto a Valentine’s Day gift thread to just add to the conversation or to bring others down? Do you do elf on the shelf for your kids and happen to put on Facebook etc or is it something driven by wanting to performance parent? We can’t know that, only the person doing it can possibly know. I was bitchy in a reply above to people who bully others, if you don’t think that’s you then you probably don’t have bad intent and I didn’t mean you. If you read something and it strikes a nerve then maybe you should do something to a knowledge and work on that behaviour.

[quote Dreamstate]@sweetlikejollof

Of course I am not Christian so I dont celebrate those holidays. However as I live in s country that does I just benefit from having days off.

We have our own new yrs and I celebrate it then.

People aren't rude to other people who celebrate valentines day, you want to do that fine. However if your going to come moan about not getting a gift then expect an opinion about it. That opinion isn't rude in itself[/quote]
Cool, if you don’t celebrate any of those holidays, then that’s fine. Many people do, and still deride VD.

And, yes, people are rude about other people celebrating Valentine’s Day. They have been in this thread. And this was prompted by a thread that is still going. You can pop over and have look, if you’d like. The OP asked what people got/did for Valentine’s Day. No opinions on VD we’re solicited. No boasting, no complaining, no fuss - no absurdity whatsoever. Lots of the responses were incredibly unpleasant, it’s part of a trend (which has been acknowledged by pp) and I was wondering why that is.

Also..I was single for a long time.. during Covid.. it was hard.
I just unfollowed people sharing cute stuff. That’s all. No drama.

Some people don't like fun?

I don't like it, don't care if you like it tbh.

I don't care for anyone's thoughts on it because that's your business. If you like it, grand if you don't also grand.

I'm not a very lovey dovey person so I definitely don't like all the heart shaped butter on the steaks, heart shaped chocolates etc. To me it's just tat.

People are the same about Christmas, Easter, Halloween, adults celebrating their birthday.
Some people are miserable.

@HelloFrostyMorning

100% agree *@Sweetlikejollof* Everyone I know in real life (in a couple,) celebrates it, if only with a card and a bunch of carnations from Morrisons. Yet on mumsnet, at LEAST 3 out of 5 people claim it's all rubbish, commercialism, faff, fluff, pathetic, childish, wet, and stupid. And only childish idiots partake in it.

My friends DD (28) had a lovely cuddly toy hedgehog off her boyfriend yesterday, and a woman in her office - 5 years old and single (shocker!) laughed at her and mocked her, and said 'fuck me, are you 5?' And hollared loud enough so that everyone could hear. Nasty jealous little bitch.

X post I think a cuddly hedgehog sounds cute!

I only know a couple of couples who do stuff and they mostly do it for social media. In general, they are very big on public image.

@BeefSupreme

To ask why some people are SO rude?

Are you new to Mumsnet? There's nothing people won't be rude about on here.

Pmsl

@3Daddy31982

Some people don't like fun?

What an odd thing to say.

I’m tacky and tasteless if you go by MN standards, I love any celebration, baby showers, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, the lot and there’s enough other people out there celebrating these events to show that I’m not in the minority.

@Cheekypeach

I personally really enjoy events, Valentines, bonfire night, Halloween, Easter, the works. It marks the passage of time, the rhythm of the year and breaks up what would otherwise be long chunks of time with little markers. You can do things ‘your’ way, on valentines we do cards but no gifts, and went to see Jackass at the cinema it doesn’t have to be covered in rose petals and diamanté’s, it’s just nice to observe these things to remind you to be grateful for the people in your life. I wonder what memories people will have who are so snide about any fun or celebration.

I really like your comments and I agree, it is nice to mark occasions. Like you, we do cards but not gifts for Valentines Day, and I have no objection to people who ‘go big’, I just don’t have the inclination to do it myself.

@JustBlethering

People are the same about Christmas, Easter, Halloween, adults celebrating their birthday. Some people are miserable.

This. ^ On mumsnet God FORBID you want to celebrate your birthday when you're over 18! How childish? Are you 5 OP?