AIBU to think my child is too young for a sleepover?

[Newgalintown]

My daughter is nearly 8. She is friends in a group of 3 of them. Both these girls parents have alluded to the fact they're planning a sleepover for their daughters' birthdays.

AIBU unreasonable to say DD is too young for sleepovers? I just don't feel comfortable with it - even though I know the parents well (one set more than the other). Equally don't want DD to miss out.

AIBU?

YABU

I had/went to sleepovers at that age.
My friends girl that age has had afew also.
It's fine.

Is she likely to want/be able to stay at a friends house overnight? Does she stay with extended family?

One of my colleagues has a 10 year old who desperately doesn't want to miss out on sleepovers but every time she goes to one, they get a call at 10pm that she's crying to come home and they have to go and retrieve her.

She's not too young, but if you don't want her to go that is your decision entirely.

My 3 youngest children have never been on a sleepover they’ve never asked and it’s not something we ‘do’ I get it can be fun and I enjoyed them as a kid but I don’t feel they need to have them or go to them. If you don’t feel comfortable about it just say no.

Your decision but 8 is the prime age for sleepovers imo.

Sleepovers have been a regular feature here since about year 1, once the Dc were established in friendships past yrR

What worries you? Can you name the things you are concerned about? How does the DC feel about it?

8 is the usual age for sleepovers to start around here.

@laurap276

Is she likely to want/be able to stay at a friends house overnight? Does she stay with extended family?

One of my colleagues has a 10 year old who desperately doesn't want to miss out on sleepovers but every time she goes to one, they get a call at 10pm that she's crying to come home and they have to go and retrieve her.

She'll want to go. I think she'd probably stay. She doesn't stay out with family - the last time she did was when I was in labour with DC3; and she was emotional but that was probably more the situation than staying out.

My dd was having sleepovers by 8, so I say YABU but it’s really each to their own isn’t it?

Perfectly normal and she isn't too young but you're the parent.

Have your DC never had sleepovers, even just staying overnight with grandparents? Think mine started friends sleepovers from about 6yrs old

You're the parent so it's your decision.

Sleepovers are pretty standard at that age, though, so be prepared for her to feel upset about missing out.

Imo sleepovers are best at secondary school age... Or when it's your turn to host it's providing free child care to a houseful of noise!

@PiesNotGuys

Sleepovers have been a regular feature here since about year 1, once the Dc were established in friendships past yrR

What worries you? Can you name the things you are concerned about? How does the DC feel about it?

I just don't feel comfortable with her being out overnight with people I don't know we'll - one child I don't know the parents particularly well; the father not at all. I know the other child's family well and would be more open to that but I can't say yes to one and not the other (the mothers are close friends as well as our 3 girls).

I don’t think 8 is too young but I do think it depends on the child, would she be anxious away from you and would you be able to pick her up if she wanted to come home?

This is the usual age sleepovers start. My DD had one for her 8th birthday and she's the oldest so most of the guests were 7 and was their first sleepovers. All loved it and it apparently gave the others parents the green light to host them .
For some of the girls who hadn't been to the house before I invited them and their mum/dad to the house for a 'play date' before the sleepover to get familiar with me /the house.

YABU

Rainbows and beavers regularly take 6 to 8 year olds away so sleepovers at this age is definitely normal. Obviously if you don't want to you don't need to let go but it's a good way to start to get a little bit of independence.

What are your concerns? As PP say it is prime age for sleepovers. What specifically makes you think she is too young?
Parenting this age is tough imo, finding your path when others around you are making different decisions makes it much harder to see clearly. Maybe if you can articulate your feelings it will help you see if they are realistic or not?

That was meant to read 'let her go'

Neurotic parents normally raise neurotic children. Worth thinking about

My 7yo goes for sleepovers with a friend, but we know her and family very well (holiday together, etc.). I probably would feel uncomfortable with her going to a family we don't know well

@JustALittleHelpPlease

What are your concerns? As PP say it is prime age for sleepovers. What specifically makes you think she is too young? Parenting this age is tough imo, finding your path when others around you are making different decisions makes it much harder to see clearly. Maybe if you can articulate your feelings it will help you see if they are realistic or not?

I don't want anything to happen to her being away overnight; and I also don't want her to feel uncomfortable and not be able to get in contact with me. She doesn't have a phone (and I don't think that's appropriate either at that age) and I don't think she'd feel comfortable asking the parent to ring me to pick her up.

I probably am over protective; and it's not something I did as a child so seems very strange to me.

@SmallThingsEverywhere

Neurotic parents normally raise neurotic children. Worth thinking about

I'm not sure how that was helpful or kind; but thanks for the input.